The Power Of Dreams
by quinnspirit
Summary: Michaela and Sully haven't met yet but they already have a strong connection to each other. Will they ever meet?
1. Chapter 1

Believe when I say that I don't own the beloved characters. I just was in a creative mood and took them away for a little bit. But I will give them back to Beth Sullivan and CBS as soon I am finished.

Chapter 1

Sitting on the front porch, beneath the evening sky, she watched the sun disappear behind the trees and make way for the stars to shine bright in the clear but cold November night.

It was a quiet night and nothing could be heard from inside the house. Everyone except for her had turned in.

But to her surprise she heard footsteps coming from behind and felt a blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She turned her head and as always she found blue eyes smiling down at her. Blue eyes like a clear blue sky watching over her. They always could make her forget everything else around her, comforting her in need, opening another door to her soul as nothing else could. She found herself drowning in them and every time she felt the same.

The happiness surpasses her, running up and down her spine. Whenever she is around them her smile begins to shine, her heart starts beating faster, her hands sweating and she tends to loose her breath. There is no doubt that he is the one she wants to spend the rest of her live with. These blue eyes and that great smile makes her feel alive like nothing else had done in her entire life! She was lucky indeed.

As out of trance, she felt him sitting next to her. She smiled at him with the smile he loved and he pulled her against his chest with one arm around her shoulders.

"You seemed like you were lost in thoughts a moment ago. Is everything ok?" he asked.

"Yes, everything is perfect", Michaela answered and claimed his lips for a soft but longing kiss. It never failed to stir him. He could do nothing about it and so it came that he tightened his grip and pulled her even closer to him. He was doing it again. In moments like this she forgot everything else in the world and had only eyes for the man she loved with her entirely being.

He pulled her on his lap and run his hands up and down her back. She had her hand in his long hair. No one cared that the blanket had fallen down to the ground and the cold air hitting them both. They created their own warmth, a fire inside their bodies. They kissed again and again. Michaela could feel his hands coming around to her front, covering her breasts in his large hands. She moaned into his mouth and when he felt her hands coming close to his buckskin he started to loose control. He wanted more and he knew she did as well.

"Michaela…."

"Hmm?", why was he talking now. There was nothing to talk about. Not now.

"Michaela! Michaela for havens sake you slept to long. Wake up now this instant",

Elizabeth, who had already been waiting at the breakfast table, waited for Michaela to come down for over thirty minutes. When she hadn't come down, she had thrown her napkin on the table and told Martha to wait serving breakfast.

Michaela opened her eyes and was disorientated at first. No loving arms around her, instead it was her blanket that was wrapped around her cold, now shivering body. Then she noticed her mother at her closet, trying to find an appropriate dress for today.

"Mother, what are you doing in my room and furthermore, why are you going through my closet!" Still a little confused about another dream she just had, she sat up in bed.

"Mother, you didn't answer me. What are you doing here?"

"In case you didn't notice my dear, it is late, again. That is the third time that you are late for breakfast. Not to mention that William will be here very soon to take you to the hospital." Meanwhile she found the right dress she wanted her daughter to wear and laid it across the bed.

Michaela didn't have any chance to say anything against her mother at this moment because she was still thinking about the wonderful dream she had. So, to avoid a disagreement or a fight in the morning, she just replied with a "yes mother, I am sorry I will be down momentarily", and with a sigh, she got out of bed to start another day in Boston.

As soon as Elizabeth left her room, Michaela sat down at her vanity to make herself ready for the day. But she couldn't stop thinking about the dream she had. Again. It was the third she had. All three of them were different but one thing was always the same. Those blue eyes smiling down at her. She didn't know who these eyes belong to. They were definitely not Williams nor someone else's she knew. She only knew that she couldn't get enough of them and wanted nothing more then to know who that man was that followed her in her dreams at night.

Then her thoughts turned to William Burke. Her best friend. A little clumsy sometimes when he would ask her out for lunch or asking her if he could walk her back home. But that was William. She knew him since they were children. William, her and David. All three of them had work together in the hospital until David was called back to the Army. He had survived the first year but then Michaela and William had gotten a letter that he died as a hero fighting for his country. It broke both their hearts and William made himself the promise to be always there for Michaela. And until today he had kept his promise.

She saw him as a dear friend. They worked together in the same hospital where all three of them had started two years ago. They had taken over his patients but Michaela had always less patients than William. At the beginning it didn't have bothered her but now in the last few months it had make her feel somehow less as a doctor. She only had female patients, and even if William was not in the hospital for a day, none of his patients would come to her.

William often told her that the women would feel more comfortable around a female doctor and because none of the other once would consult her, she was lucky that she could work as a doctor in Boston. But it also broke his heart to see her hurt and he promised himself to find something better, were both could work side by side with no prejudice at all.

Sometimes Michaela thought that William had more feelings than friendship for her but she knew that there would be never anything else. Yes, she loved him, but as a friend, a dear friend who she could come to anytime of the day to tell him what bothered her. He always had and open ear for her and would take her in his arms to comfort her. But she would feel nothing more and especially after her dream last night, she knew that she was not in love with William. She was in love with a man, with sparkling blue eyes from her dreams!

"Michaela, William is waiting for you. Are you ready by now?", and again, Elizabeth disturbed Michaela in her dreams.

"Yes, I am almost finished", Michaela lied and hurried to do her hair. Once she was done, she looked over to the bed were the dress was lying on the bed. It was the new green dress her mother had giving her for the last birthday. It was a nice dress but not to Michaela's liking. So she decided, against her mother will, to take the dark blue one instead, that she and Rebecca had bought a few weeks ago. When she was ready, she took her medical back, took a last look in the mirror, straighten her back, and was finally ready to face her mother and William.

"Good morning William. I am so sorry that you had to wait for me. It had been a long day yesterday and I slept a little bit to long", Michaela told William as she came down the stairs, ignoring her mothers angry gaze completely.

William was waiting at the bottom of the stairs when he heard Michaela finally coming down. It always took his breath away, when he picked her up in the mornings. Today was no different. For him, Michaela was the dream of his life. A beautiful, smart, caring woman and a great doctor all at once. One day he wished for more than friendship but he would never be brave enough to tell Michaela his true feelings.

Meanwhile, Michaela stood in front of him and he almost missed of taking her hand in his and giving it a soft kiss on the back.

"Good Morning Michaela. May I say you look beautiful again this morning. And no need to apologize. I am a little early as usual."

Elizabeth, who had witnessed the exchange between her daughter and William was very pleased with herself. Even though she had giving Michaela an angry look about her decision of her dress, she was pleased of Williams reaction. She saw it in his eyes that he was in love with her daughter. It couldn't be long now and William would ask for her hand. That she was sure about. They were a loving couple but more important, William was a respectable man in the high society and once they were married he would convince her of giving up the nonsense about being a doctor and be a wife and mother of his children.

Michaela always found it amusing. Indeed, William was a little to early on each visit and he always would say the same. That he was to early. Usually it put a smile on Michaela's face but this morning her mind was somewhere else.

So, she only replied," I know William, you always are. But I am ready now. We can go." Somehow she felt her mothers eyes on her back and wanted to leave the house as soon as possible.

"Sure. Here, let me help you with your coat", and with that he took the coat from behind her and helped her slowly, as to not make a mistake, in it, gave her medical bag back to her and opened the door so she could step out first.

"Thank you William." Before she walked through the door, she glanced back to her mother. Seeing her, she knew that something was going through her mind. And if her mother had that look, it was usually not for Michaela's benefit. Therefore, she knew her mother too well. But she wouldn't think about that now. She had another long day ahead of her and just gave her a " Goodbye mother. See you tonight".

With that she stepped out the door and William, trying to keep up with her, closed the door behind himself. Ready for another day with Michaela at his side.

"_Come back to me,"_ panic was shown in the face of the man who had just woken up from his dream. His arm still stretched out in front of him, reaching for her. Wanting to hold her a moment longer. Feeling her soft skin under his touch. Just one more time to replace the emptiness in his heart. But she was gone. She had walked away from him.

He was trembling now, sweat all of his body and his breath was coming in short gasps.

Slowly, his senses were coming back to him, his breathing finally slowed down. It had been a dream. The dream about that woman again. That beautiful woman with the mismatched eyes and that heavenly smile.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After the dream again this morning, Sully needed to clear his head. So with Wolf had his side he decided to go to the one place where he so often had gone to in the last year. He just wanted to forget about this woman in his dreams. It was not right to have dreams about a woman when another had just been taken away from him. No, it was not fair.

Finally, after what had seemed like an endless walk through the woods, he reached his destination.

With now tears in his eyes, he looked down to the small wooden cross in front of him. Going down on his knees, he touched the cross tenderly with his hand.

"I am here Abigail." Closing his eyes, he forced his soul to reach out to her. To be close to her, letting her know, that he would always be here and never letting her go. Telling her, she would always be in his heart no matter what. He was trying to feel the connection again between his wife and him that he had felt so often. But there was nothing. Instead, the picture of her face began to slowly fade away. He tried harder to keep her image but it was hopeless. He was about to give up when the picture came back. But it was not Abigail's face that he saw. It cut Sully like a knife, ripping out his heart.

And all of the sudden he couldn't take it anymore. He stood up and took a few steps back. He burned up with anger. Breathing hard now that his lungs began to hurt, he got scared. No. No. Don't do this. Why?

Sinking down on his knees again, he burst into tears and with anguish of despair he yelled out his anger.

"What do you want from me? Just leave me alone. I don't know you. I don't want to know you!" With no more strength left in his body, he collapsed in front of Abigail's grave. The last picture he would remember later was the imagine of that same woman from his dreams again and the warm feeling in his heart.

Cloud Dancing, who had witnessed his brothers outburst, stood also, with a heavy heart, not to far from the scene where his brother was now laying on the ground, curled up like a little child.

He had a vision that his friend would need his help in the near future and had looked for him at Sully's lean-to this morning . As soon as he had found the spot empty, he knew where he was needed.

And here he was.

The spirits wouldn't allow him to know every detail of what his friend was going through. He only knew, the time was near that there would be a change for the better in Sully's life. So what ever it was, this was the beginning.

With Sully now laying across Cloud Dancing's horse, he made his way back to the reservation where he would prepare for his friends healing.

Neither Sully, nor Cloud Dancing had noticed another person watching the scene at the grave.

With tears in his eyes, he approached the spot where Sully had just been. He was angry. He didn't understand all what had happened to his best friend but he wished that he could help him and do something to get his best friend back.

Not knowing where to turn to, he let his anger out and screamed at Abigail's grave.

"Why did you have to do that? Why did you take the best friend I ever had away from me?" and with that he run back towards town to find comfort in a woman embrace.

Back at the reservation, Snowbird had already been waiting impatiently for her husbands return. She knew from the conversation this morning that their friend would need all their help in the next few days. She knew that if Sully would let them help him, it would be a turning point in his life. But it was Sully and they knew that he had his own head and it would be difficult to get him to open up again.

Once she saw Cloud Dancing walking towards her, she could see from his expression that Sully had a tough morning already.

"He fainted at Abigail's grave. That's where I found him. His spirits had spoken to him. We must begin his healing," Snow Bird had watched Cloud Dancing getting Sully of his horse as he told her what needed to be done.

"Where do you want to start, Cloud Dancing?"

"We must prepare a sweat lodge. He needs to understand that by saying goodbye, he doesn't have to let go. That he has enough room in his heart for something new."

"This will be difficult," answered Snowbird. "You know him."

Now, having a little smile on his face he touched his wife's cheek. "Yes I know him and that is why I know he will learn. Trust me. He will understand when he understands his dreams."

With that the preparations began. Cloud Dancing knew that only with the help of the spirits would Sully understand that his life was not over. Every step he took so far, every breath he had taking will lead him to something unexpected and beautiful. This he knew from his visions. Something good will fall upon the Cheyenne, which would help them through a difficult time. He didn't know what it was yet but the trust in the spirits had always guided him. He wouldn't stop believing now.

Snowbird, who was tending to Sully, watched her husband building the sweat lodge. She never had questioned his judgment and always believed in him in every way possible. She knew the spirits had visit him as well and that there would be nothing that could stop him from helping their friend.

Sully woke from the rising steam and temperature. He was disorientated at first but saw his brother sitting across from him.

"Welcome back my brother. You were out long." Cloud Dancing spoke first.

Trying to sit, Sully felt as if the world would be crashing down on him. His head hurting.

"What happened?" Sully asked, finally finding a comfortable position.

"I have found you at your wife's grave. You fainted."

Sully's senses were slowly coming back to him and he started to remember.

"I remember." Closing his eyes, he felt the anger, the guilt but also the warm feeling rising again. No, he wouldn't let it happen again. He didn't want to think about it and definitely not talk about it. He wanted to be left alone.

Sully tried to stand up but something was holding him back, not the muscle ache he felt. No. He felt a sharp pain in his heart.

"That is your last chance Sully. If you walk out now I can't help you anymore. What do you remember?" Cloud Dancing knew that this was his brothers only chance to finally let go of the past. The spirits had chosen this moment. He didn't know why but he wouldn't question them now. So with a gently voice he asked again.

"What do you remember?"

"I don't want to remember. Can't you see that?" Sully shot back. "I don't want to talk about it" Again he tried to stand up but it was useless. The pain in his heart came again as if something or someone was pulling at it. Not wanting to let go.

Finally giving up, Sully sat back down. He looked back over to Cloud Dancing and his gaze met his. In that moment Sully knew that he wouldn't get out of here as long as he wouldn't tell him what he wanted to know.

Letting out a sigh, Sully's emotions got the better of him and finally answered.

"I lost Abigail."

"You have lost her a long time ago, my friend."

"I lost her now, Cloud Dancing. I can't see her in front of me anymore."

"Because she is not here," Cloud Dancing said.

Anger building up inside him again.

" I know she is not here. What ever was left of the connection we had is gone now. I feel she is slipping away from me." Tears were forming in Sully's eyes now rolling down his cheek as he was speaking.

"I don't want to lose the best part I had in my life and the last part I had of her. I don't want to let her go! I don't want to have those dreams because they make me forget Abigail. I don't want to forget her Cloud Dancing. I don't want to." Then there was silence. Sully tried to control his emotions but couldn't anymore. With now read eyes and a trembling body, he asked the question he feared the most.

"What is happening to me?"


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Cloud Dancing had been watching Sully's breakdown. He was surprised that after all this time with the Cheyenne, Sully still had more anger, frustration and helplessness in his heart then he knew about. He wanted to help his brother now but knew that the first journey must be done by him alone. Later would the time come to talk.

"You need to purify your mind, body, spirit and heart first before we can talk about what that means. You have to release you anger, guilt and shame. If you cannot do that I cannot help you to start with what lies ahead of you. Ask the spirits for guidance. Trust my brother and you will find your way. Chose your word wisely. Then I will come back."

Still with a heavy heart, Sully was left alone in the darkness of the sweat lodge. It was his second ceremony so he already knew what he had to do.

Taking his medicine pouch from around his neck, he took a handful of herbs in his hand and let it fall down over the heated rocks.

"Great Spirit, whose voice I hear in the wind, whose breath gives life to the world.

Hear my prayer. I need your strength and wisdom. I have forgotten who I am. Make me wise so that I understand the dreams you have giving me. Help me to remain calm and strong in the face of all that comes towards me. I have come to you in seeking strength to fight my greatest enemy. Myself."

With his last words the prayer was done and the time for healing was near. His discomfort was becoming more apparent, but eventually forgotten as breathing deeply became his only focus. He was no longer his body, only his breath. His body swayed slightly from side to side and he found himself humming quietly as he listened to the sound of the wind outside of the sweat lodge.

He took a last deep breath before all his senses left his body. Willingly. The time has come.

"Sully. Open your eyes."

Sully's heart skipped a beat. He knew this soft voice. He opened is eyes and found himself back at his old homestead, sitting on the front porch with Abigail next to him. He wanted to touch her, to take her in his arms but he couldn't reach her.

"Abigail. I thought I have lost you forever. I can't believe I am sitting here with you next to me!"

"Oh Sully. I wish I could take away your pain. You deserve better then this. I am sorry that it had to end like this. But it was my time. I didn't know why I was taken from you but now I know."

Sully followed her hand with his eyes as she laid it atop his. But he couldn't feel her touch. Looking back at her he asked the same question he had asked Cloud Dancing.

"What is happening Abigail. You are slipping away from me. When I close my eyes you are vanishing right in front of me. What does this all mean?"

Abigail just squeezed his hand tighter and looked into his pleading eyes. And this time, he could feel her.

"Sully, it's time to move on. I've kept you long enough. It was me who didn't want to let go. I was selfish."

"No Abigail. You have never been selfish. I..," but she put a finger on his lips to silence him.

"I didn't want you to move on. I was afraid you'll forget me." Looking away from him she revealed what was in her heart.

"Our love was something very beautiful Sully but as you can see it was not enough. We were young and foolish. You are promised for something I cannot explain. Your soul and your heart were not ready for us. I know that you have loved me and god knows that I have loved you with everything I had."

Looking back at him she removed her hand from his and touched his cheek.

"But we need to let go. _I _need to let you goso we both can move on."

Sully didn't understand what was happening. He didn't want to let her go. Slowly he took her hand from his cheek and placed it over his heart.

Suddenly feeling peace creeping in his heart, he began to understand was she was telling him. If they wouldn't move on they both would be trapped. She came back to him to say her last good bye.

Looking back in her eyes he smiled softly.

"I will always keep you in my heart, Abigail."

She smiled back at him.

"I know you will and I would be sad if you didn't but keep enough room for someone new."

Puzzled, Sully asked.

"What do you mean?" But Abigail was fading away.

"Abigail! What do you mean?"

Hearing her voice for the last time, his heart began beating faster as he listened to her answer.

"Remember your dreams. She is waiting for you" and with that, Abigail was gone…

As he dragged his sweat-drenched body out into the night air, he wandered into the dark woods, sat upon the ground and propped his body against a tree trunk. He looked to the night skies above him which were filled with bright stars. His heart beating fast. The wind upon his face and naked body brought feelings of joy. Smiling for the first time, he placed his hand over his heart, he felt at peace for the longest time he can remember. He knew he had taken the first step.

On the way to the hospital, Michaela and William sat across from each other but none of them said a word but for different reasons.

William, fighting with himself not to look at Michaela that often, was reading the Boston Globe. He had tried small talk once they had left Beacon Hill, but had soon realized that Michaela was not herself today. He didn't now what else to do so he had taking the newspaper the driver had giving him in the morning to keep himself occupied.

Michaela on the other hand, had a different battle to fight. Since she had left the house a little while ago, she had strange feelings laying over her heart. First it was pain, a sharp pain for just seconds, then a feeling of sadness and now she had the same feeling as in her dreams. A warm feeling as if someone would tell her that everything will be alright.

She had her eyes closed trying to get the image of the man back from her dreams. It didn't take long and his sparkling blue eyes were in front of her again. The warm feeling intensified as she realized that those eyes were looking directly into her soul. Her pulse began to quicken again and she was afraid that William would notice her appearance. But she didn't care. She wanted to hold onto that feeling forever. She wanted to find that man behind those wonderful eyes.

But he could be million of miles away from her and where should she start looking. It was hopeless.

She hadn't realized that she had let out a loud sigh until she heard Williams voice.

"Michaela, are you alright? You are sweating. Do you want me to tell the driver to stop?"

Realizing that she had been caught she quickly thought for an excuse.

"No, no William. Everything is fine. The carriage is a little to uncomfortable for me this morning. I am just a little warm. That's all."

"Do you want me open the other window so you can get some more air or we could stop and walk the rest of the way. It's not far anymore. Or do you want something to drink. I can ask the driver."

That was typical for William. Never really listening.

"William, please. I said everything is fine. Like you said we are almost at the practice. I can take it the rest of the way. Believe me. I am fine."

But it was far from the truth.

Michaela had never felt so alone in her life and out of place. She was disappearing in the crowed. She wanted to be a part of something real where she wouldn't have to hide who she wanted to be. A caring woman and a doctor. Where people could see her for who she really was. She was tired of people pushing her around and telling her how she should behave or what was expected from her.

She had to talk to someone otherwise it would not only be William catching her in an embarrassed moment. And she knew just the right person who wouldn't judge her or think she was being silly.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As it had been for quite a while now, there were not many patients for Michaela to treat this morning. She had been sitting at her desk most of the time with her mind spinning around in circles.

What was she thinking. She was a single woman, working in a practice with no patients and was trapped in the thoughts of her dreams. Her mother would definitely lock her up in her room if she knew about her daughters improper dreams. Maybe her mother was right. Maybe it was time to find a man and start a life which was expected from her. Yes, she was a doctor, a good doctor but no degree could change the fact that she didn't have enough patients.

No one had supported her in the decision of becoming a doctor. Her mother, her sisters and even David and William were against it. And her father? Her father would have supported her in anything Michaela put in her head. Her father had been proud of her when she had told him at just four years that she wanted to be like him. A doctor.

Her father. Especially in these moments she missed him the most. Sitting in his office and unburdening her heart to him. In her whole life she couldn't remember that he ever had judged her for any reason. He had always been at her side and had protect her from her mothers outburst. Yes, she definitely needed him now.

But he was gone and the closest person she could think of to talk to was her best friend Miriam. She had the same caring heart as her father and herself. She had been her rock when her father had died four months ago. It had been a rough time but they had made it through together.

With these thoughts in mind she had decided to finish for today and had told William that she was leaving the practice. Of course he was concerned but knew better to question her again. He just had wished her a good day and told her that they would see each other when he would pick her up tomorrow morning.

Once Michaela had reached Miriam's house they decided to take a walk through the parks of Beacon Hill. Miriam had been pleasantly surprised to see her best friend but knew instantly that something was wrong. Usually it was almost impossible to get her away from the practice and when Michaela left it willingly something seriously must have happened.

Miriam knew her well enough to not pressure her so she kept silence in the hope that Michaela would be telling her what was on her mind when she was ready.

But Michaela was stalling.

"Where are we going Miriam?"

"Oh, nothing in particular. Just enjoying the nice weather. We will see where we end up." She already knew where she wanted to go but didn't want to make it that obvious yet.

The whole time, Michaela had been thinking of how she should approach Miriam but then finally found the courage.

"Miriam, I don't know for how long I still can be happy here in Boston. Father is gone and I am not happy how everything is going at the practice."

Now it was out and actually Michaela felt relieved. But Miriam on the other hand had to swallow. She hadn't expect that.

"What do you mean. You are saying you want to leave Boston? Where do you want to go. And what about William. I thought you like him?"

"You know that I like William. But that's just it. I like him. Nothing more. I know what mother expect from me. She wants me to marry him and have his children. But I can't do that. I know him since we were children, Miriam. I couldn't imagine myself being his wife now." She had to chuckle. "No, I definitely cannot imagine that."

Even Miriam couldn't contain her amusement about picturing Michaela and William together in THAT way. No, that wouldn't work.

"But you know your mother is expecting a proposal soon. Even though I don't know if William would ever find the courage of asking for your hand. He is…" but she couldn't think of the right word.

"…clumsy." Michaela finished her friends sentence. Both looking at each other and burst into laughter.

"Yes, I guess you are right. Now when I think about him, he _is_ clumsy. He never knows what to say or if he is allowed to take and kiss your hand. But he is a nice man and for your mother, even more important, a respectable man."

"Yes he is." Michaela sighs.

"Michaela, what is it? He didn't asked you, did he?"

"No, no and as you said I don't even know if he would ever find the courage. No. I actually wanted to talk to you about something else."

"Then tell me. What's wrong Michaela? Are you pregnant?? Did he force himself on you?" Miriam couldn't stop her mind from wandering from one to the other.

"Michaela, _what _is it?"

Chuckling again, Michaela answered.

"Miriam, we just talked about William. Do you really think he would be able to do that? No Miriam, I am not pregnant," she let out another loud sigh, "but I think I am in love with another man." And there it was.

"No! Who is it?"

"That's it Miriam, I don't know. He is in my dreams. I've never seen him before. But I can't get him out of my head. It's all I am thinking about."

" I see"

"You think I am crazy, don't you?" Sighing, Michaela added, "maybe I am."

"If you think about him that much, then I guess there is more to it then you admit. Tell me about him."

And so, Michaela told Miriam about the wonderful dreams, the clear blue eyes that followed her where ever she went. The feelings which were forming in her stomach, like butterflies in the dance of love. That she had no control over her body whenever her thoughts turned to him.

Meanwhile, Miriam had linked her arm in Michaela's and had led them toward the place where they so often had come to the last four months.

Now both looking down to the grave of Michaela's father, Joseph Quinn.

"Hello father," Michaela whispered. Kneeling down, Michaela continued. "I miss you so much. I wish you could be here right now." Feeling her eyes filled with tears and touching her skin, she touched the flowers she had brought him a few days back. Closing her eyes, she felt the wind across her face and a powerful feeling that he was with her. Right in this moment and forever. Telling her that everything would be alright.

Miriam who had been watching her friend in a private moment with her beloved father, placed her hand softly on her shoulder.

"I am so sorry Michaela. Your father was a great man with a big heart."

Then Miriam kneeled down next to her younger friend.

"He was so proud of you, Michaela. Not just for being a great doctor but for who you are. He had so much faith in you that you would achieve anything you put in your mind. He believed in you as I do, Michaela. Look at me." Michaela slowly turned her head and gazed into her friends eyes.

"What would he say to you now? Would he say you should give up? No, he would say that you are the strongest woman he knew and that you should follow your heart. That's what he would say and nothing else."

Miriam smiling now at Michaela, knew that she had spoken the right words. Not just to make her feel better, no, because it was simply the truth.

Thanking Miriam with a loving hug, she whispered almost not audible, "thank you for being here. I don't know what I would do without you! Thank you."

"You are more than welcome, Michaela. You were there for me when I had to give up practicing. It's time I return the favor."

Standing up, they wiped away the dirt from their dresses and Miriam became her old self again.

"So, what do you want to do now? You want to look for him, don't you?"

"But that is hopeless Miriam. Where am I suppose to look. He could be on the other side of the country or god knows where he could be. It would be impossible to find him."

"How long do you have those dreams?"

Looking away now, Michaela replied shyly, "not for long."

"Oh."

Taking Miriam by her arm, she was leading them further through the park.

"Miriam you know me. I never had such feelings before but I feel like my whole body is aching when I think about not seeing him again. I know, I've never met him only in my dreams, but it just feels like I _do _know him. That we are connected somehow. Ah, I don't know what to think Miriam. I don't even know if he is real."

Miriam was stunned. She had never seen her friend like this before. She usually avoided talking about men. Michaela never thought that she was a beautiful woman, that men would care for her. But Michaela had no idea what affects she had on men. Especially on William.

"So, where does that leave us. Do you want to forget about him and give up?"

"No, but what should I do?"

"You just wait for the next dreams to come."

After Sully's body had cooled off and his energy had returned, he collected his cloths but decided to leave off his shirt, called for wolf, who had been patiently waiting and started walking back to his lean-to. He needed this time alone now and had promised Cloud Dancing he would be back tomorrow.

Laying now beneath the stars with wolf giving him the necessary warmth needed, Sully was not tired enough to fall asleep yet. There were too many thoughts running through his mind.

Abigail. She had been so beautiful and loving as he had remembered her.

Sully had always thought that Abigail had been his true love and that he had giving everything into their relationship. But when he thought back now of how their marriage had been, they had missed out really on sharing everything in their short life together. Yes, they had loved each other but it had been more of a comfortable love than of sharing their bodies and souls completely. But nonetheless she would always have a special place in his heart.

His thoughts turned to Abigail's last words to him. "She is waiting for you." He remembered his heart almost bursting for curiosity. Wanting to know more but Abigail had been gone before he was able to ask what he wanted to know the most. Who was she?

And then it happened. What he had longed for the most in the past came crashing down on him. The feeling was overwhelming. Looking up to the stars above him, he thought out loud. "Could it really be that she had the same dreams?"

For the first time he felt hope. Hope, that she might knew about him as well. Closing his eyes, he wished to see her face smiling back at him again.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

It was late when Michaela finally had arrived back home. After Miriam had gone back to her husband and children, she decided to walk further through the parks. She hadn't felt facing her mother at that moment because she knew it would only lead to an argument she was not ready for.

But it had to be done sometime and once the night sky was settling in she had turned around.

---

The servants had already left for the day since no one had noticed her coming in. Except her mother of course.

Taking a deep breath, she hang up her coat and was ready to face her mother, who was at this moment storming in to the parlor already, with William at her heals.

"Michaela, are you alright? Where have you been? We were worried sick about you. We were about to call the police."

"Mother please, I told you Miriam and I went for a walk."

"Yes, but that had been hours ago. William had stopped by, asking if he could take you out for dinner tonight, but I had to tell him, that I didn't know where my daughter was. Do you know how embarrassing that is? Not knowing where my own daughter is?"

Michaela had tried to stay calm about her mothers yelling but enough was enough.

"Mother, I am not a child anymore so would you please stop yelling at me. I can come and go as I please and I do not have to justify what I do in my free time. Now, would you excuse me for a moment I have to speak to William."

Turning for the first time to William she noticed his frightening look and his hands fumbling with his jacket. He seemed nervous. Right now to her, William seemed like another child her mother had under her wing.

"William could I speak to you please?" Not waiting for an answer and leaving a speechless Elizabeth behind she walked towards the dining room.

Before William could follow Michaela, Elizabeth hold his arm firmly.

"Remember what I told you William. Michaela belongs to you. Let her know what you think about her. I know you have feelings for my youngest daughter. I would be happy indeed to have you as my son-in-law. Go to her."

William was staring in the older woman's eyes. He saw the determination in them that this woman would be willing to do what ever it takes to get what she wanted.

Yes, William had to admit, he was afraid of Michaela's mother, Elizabeth Quinn.

"She is waiting William."

"Yes Mrs. Quinn," straightening his back, William followed Michaela in to the dining room.

---

Michaela was sitting at the dining table with her hands folded gently on her knees. She looked so beautiful. She always had been to him, even when they had been children.

"Michaela you wanted to speak to me?"

To him, she looked like she would began to cry within moments but was instantly taken by surprise when her angry eyes searched his.

"How can you do that William? Why did you have to come here tonight. We agreed on seeing each other tomorrow morning."

To be on the safe side, William took the seat across from her.

"I am sorry Michaela. After I have seen you today, I knew something was bothering you. I just wanted you to talk to me. Like always."

Softening her gaze, Michaela felt pity for him. William definitely had feelings for her and tonight she would have no other choice of telling him the truth. It would break his heart.

With a sight, Michaela tried to explain.

"William, I really appreciate what you try to do but this is not working anymore. You have to accept…"

"…please, stop Michaela. I know what you want to say. But please let me. Just let me finish first what I have to say, it's difficult enough."

He was trying to reach for her hand and Michaela didn't shy away. She looked down on his hand lying over hers and analyzed her feelings. She had no butterflies in her stomach, no rapid heart beating or any desire to know him in a different way then just as a friend. There was simply nothing.

Seeing now his eyes pleading for understanding, Michaela nodded her head.

"Michaela, we know each other for so long now and I always tried to be there for you, especially after David had died. But the truth is I didn't do it only because we were friends but because I was hoping, wishing that one day there might be more between us. I care for you very much. We can be partners in every way, if you would accept my courtship. I would be honored to have you at my side."

Now it was out. Nervousness filled his heart. If Michaela would deny him, their friendship would probably be over and she was gone out of his life. But maybe Mrs. Quinn had been right, maybe this had been the right approach to make her see that he was a suitable match for her.

His hopes vanished quickly as he saw Michaela removing her hand underneath his.

"Somehow throughout the years I figured you have more feelings towards me than just friendship. But I am sorry William, I cannot return those feelings. And I will not except your courtship."

"Michaela, please think about it. We would be a very suitable for each other. We…," but now Michaela had enough and interrupted him.

"Listen to me William. I can only be your friend. That is all I can offer. There will be never anything else than friendship. If you still want that. Please think about that. I don't want to lose another dear friend."

Michaela noticed that William had sunk back down in to his chair. He finally had the courage of telling her how he felt and then she had broken his heart. Yes, she felt sorry form him but it wouldn't change anything about her feelings.

Raising from the chair, she walked over to William and put her small hand on his shoulder.

Softly, she whispered, "I am sorry William. I didn't mean to break your heart." And with that she left the room.

"Maybe you were right. Maybe you cannot offer her enough, let alone a courtship or marriage. I am sorry William but please leave. I am tired and I need to speak to my daughter."

Elizabeth, of course, had been close enough to hear their conversation. She had been sure that William would have the ability to convince her daughter for a courtship but had to realize soon, that this had been a mistake.

William, stunned at Elizabeth words, stood and went towards the entrance but before leaving the Quinn's house he turned his face back to Elizabeth.

"You have a wonderful daughter, Mrs. Quinn. She knows what she wants. I am sorry you cannot see that. Good night, Ma'am!"

Sighing, Elizabeth watched William leave. Sometimes she wished that William had been called back to the army instead of David. But William had been the only son and so his father had tried everything to keep his son near. With success. Otherwise David might have been in Williams shoes now and had convinced her daughter about the benefit of such a marriage. But that would never happen. Nonetheless, determined as Elizabeth Quinn was, she was already forming a new plan in her mind.

And now it was time to face her daughter and making her see that it couldn't go on like this. Something had to be done. Quickly.

---

Michaela, already changed into her nightdress, was doing her hair when her mother appeared in her daughters bedroom.

Seeing her mothers reflection in the mirror she saw the disappointment in her face she had seen so many times before.

"Michaela, how could you disrespect William in such a way. Not to mention how embarrassing this is for our family in the society. All my daughters have respectable men as husbands and you, you turn the courtship of William down, one of the best doctors in Boston. I am very disappointed in you, Michaela Quinn."

Elizabeth had been still standing at the doorway to her daughters room when she gave her another lecture of how embarrassing Michaela Quinn was for her own family. Her eyes had been as cold as ice and had not shown any sympathy for her daughters situation.

Michaela on the other hand had hold her gaze. Showing another disrespect towards her mother.

Still looking not directly at her mother, but through the mirror, she took a deep breath.

"Are you finished mother? Because I am very tired and need to go to bed unless you want me to be late again tomorrow morning."

"How dare you speak to me like this. And when do you finally give up that nonsense about being a doctor. I am really sick about you Michaela Quinn."

Stopping at the door, she turned again towards her daughter.

"And mark my words, this won't be the last conversation we have had," with that she shut the door behind her with a loud thud."

Michaela, who hadn't moved a muscle, dropped her head. She never had seen her mother in such rage before. Yes they had their disagreements and fights but never ever had she said anything like this before.

Moving now to the big window in her room, she put her arms tightly around herself and watched the stars bright and clear over the still bustling city.

Her life seemed to be falling apart. First David had been taken from her, then her father, now she feared her mother would do something against her own will. And not to mention William and her less patients. Yes her life was so complicated now and nothing anymore compare to a year ago. Maybe her mother was right.

She closed her eyes and felt the salty taste of her tears. She had nothing anymore that filled her heart with happiness.

Feeling the tiredness overwhelming her, she crawled into her soft bed and wrapped the blanket closely around herself. Before she drifted of to sleep her last thoughts turned to him and whispered, "please help me. What is happening to me?"

---

Just before Sully was about to fall asleep, a powerful feeling overcame him again. A feeling of pure sadness. But this time it was not his own. With his hand over his heart he felt the pain intensifying. It hurt like it had never before but he wouldn't let go.

He wanted to run. He wanted to swallow the rush to call out her name but he didn't know.

Without thinking he crawled out of his lean-to and let his heart guide him.

Wolf, still at his side, was a little confused and turned his head to see where his master was going. He didn't make any signs that he was supposed to follow so he laid back down in the warmth where his master had been laying a moment ago.

With his hand still touching his chest, he followed the powerful feeling. It was pulling him. Even if he would have tried to walk away from it, his body wouldn't let him.

The feeling got stronger. Stronger and stronger. And when he finally reached the edge of the mountain, his breath almost left him.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The feeling overpowered Sully. Feelings of hurt and pain. His legs still weak, he dropped to the ground. Not wanting to give in, he straightened his back and stretched his arms to either side. Taking deep breaths he tried to concentrate. He knew these feelings. Then he listened to her voice and it almost broke his heart when heard the same question he had asked a while back. "Help me. What is happening to me?"

His heart was raising now. The woman from his dreams was reaching out to him. Could that really be possible? He felt the wind at his cheeks carrying her voice to him again.

"Help me," and without letting another moment pass, he softly whispered, " I am here!"

He felt a lump in his throat. He had never felt anything like this before. It was as if their spirits were reaching out for each other. He had no control. His body was covered with sweat again and trembling uncontrollably. Then he saw her. Her beautiful face and her shiny, long hair. She was curled up in bed with sheets wrapped around her tightly, crying herself to sleep. His heart was falling into peaces. He wanted to touch her so badly, curl at her side. Comforting her in his arms. Drying away her tears. He just couldn't stand the thought of her being all alone in the dark room, and when her words echoes through his head again he let his soul reach hers.

Placing his hand back over his heart again and with own tears in his eyes he whispered in to the wind, "I am here. I am here. I am always with you!" and hoped his spirits would carry his words into her broken heart.

Then the connection was broken and he felt the chill of the mountain breeze and the warmth of the rising sun.

He didn't want to leave her but his body was exhausted and dropped to the ground. With no strength left he was falling into a blissful sleep dreaming of her.

---

Michaela, leaning against the wall, was staring at the moon through her bedroom window. Half of the night she had tried to fall asleep, turning from one side to the other, hoping to dream of him. But the dream wouldn't come.

Standing now at her window, she felt more alone than ever. How had she come this far?

She was trying hard to fit in, to fit in into the world of Boston but always had the feeling there could be something more.

Breathing in, she tried to control her tears from falling again. Where was he? Why wouldn't he comfort her again with his strong arms around her? Why was he not taking away her pain? Why was he not here with her when she needed him the most?

"I am here. I am here. I am always with you!"

At that instant she stopped breathing. Was it really him? She heard is voice over and over again. "I am here. I am here."

She couldn't believe it. He had hurt her pleading words. The answer she had longed to hear was whispering in her head again and again. "I am here."

She surrendered. Giving up the fight against the powerful feelings inside her body.

As if her soul was leaving her body, she saw him laying on the ground atop of a mountain. His chest raising and falling. His face so peaceful. She could feel the breathe from the wind. She could smell his outdoor scent. Inhaling it deeply, she wanted to take it with her. To remember it forever.

Touching her heart she hoped that her words would reach him as his words had reached her.

"Thank you. My heart is yours. Forever!"

She saw a smile upon his face as if he would be hearing her voice. She hoped he did.

Never in her entire life had she experienced anything like this before. How could it be? Two people from different worlds became one with their souls?

Closing her eyes she breathed in the new hope. Hope that for the first time she had found her fate. Her home.

This man was searching for her as she was searching for him. Their hearts had found a way of reaching each others souls and their desperate need of finding oneness.

--

Not knowing yet, they both had felt each other's intense love, the deep passion inside them, burning, fighting to escape. This was the moment both had long waited for. A life was changed in just an instant. Their hearts filled with love. Every breath they would take was meant for the other. A promise of love was spoken from the unknown that came to life. Each soul belonged to the other and only time would tell when their bodies would became one for the first time.

--

Michaela had never felt so much love and hope before. Tears of joy were now running down her cheeks.

Touching first her lips with her fingers and giving them a soft kiss, she then pressed them against the cold window, now the window to her heart. "For all the nights and days to come you'll be in my heart."

With that she crawled back into her now cold bed, wrapping the sheets around herself and secretly wishing it would be his arms keeping her warm throughout the rest of the night.

---

When the sun was already high up on the horizon, Sully was still sitting where he had fallen asleep the night before. He had tried again and again to feel the connection. To tell her more but there had been nothing. He was concerned at first that something might have had happened to her but quickly pushed the thought aside. He was sure he would have felt it if something was wrong.

Thinking back now, everything had been going so fast. A few days back, he had been a heart broken man, still mourning. Now his heart was filled with love again.

He couldn't wipe away the smile from his face. He had heard her voice right before he had fallen asleep. She had thanked him for his words and told him that her heart was his. Forever. He couldn't remember the last time he was so happy.

Breathing in deeply, he wanted to remember the moment forever. The moment where he had lost his heart to the woman from his dreams.

Standing up, he promised himself to come back to this place where he had felt her so close. Oh so close as never before, had he felt her so deeply in his heart.

With the question now of when he would see her again, he took a last glance around. Finally of being able to say goodbye to his new love, he turned around and left the place where he had felt completely at home for the first time in his life.

Cloud Dancing had already been waiting for Sully. As soon as he had seen Sully walking towards him, he noticed a difference in his brother. His eyes were shining bright as stars and not hiding the truth anymore of who he really was.

"I see the spirits have guided you my friend. You have changed."

"Yeah. I don't know where I would be without you or the help of the spirits."

"They just showed you what you already have known. Now it is time that you understand your dreams"

"I know."

"Then let us continue. The sweat lodge is ready."

---

Both sitting again in the sweat lodge, Sully had told Cloud Dancing everything about the magical night he just had experienced. The intense feelings both had shared in the same moment. That this woman craved for him as he craved for her. That they both knew it felt right and that they have found their homes in the others heart.

"It's been a long time since I have heard you talking about a woman, my friend", replied Cloud Dancing.

Sully had became Cloud Dancing's blood brother after helping him in the darkest time of his life. Since then the Cheyenne, especially him and Snowbird had helped him to come back to life, to accept that he was the one who was still alive and not Abigail. But his heart had still been broken. Until now.

"I never knew that something like this was possible, Cloud Dancing. I have never felt anything like it. This, this powerful feeling."

"Tell me what you see if you look into your heart Sully."

Sully sighs, trying to put his dreams and his feelings into words.

"What?" asked Cloud Dancing.

With a slight smile, Sully replied, looking directly at Cloud Dancing, "her beautiful smile."

Cloud Dancing noticed the sparkle his brothers eyes and he knew that the spirits, who had visit him, had told the truth. The life of his heart-broken brother was about to change forever.

"Tell me about her"

"I don't know her name or where she comes from but her beautiful smile is always with me. All I know is since I have those dreams I awake each day with a smile on my face. Every time I think of something sad, my heart replace it with her smile, even though I didn't want it at first, my mind is instantly changed and my heart is filled with happiness. The sound of her voice, so soft, so sweet and the kisses from her lips, words can't explain. The caress of her hands sends shivers down my spine. Her lovely face takes all my fears away. Everything comes from her smile and when she looks at me, she takes away my worries or the pain in my heart. And when I lay against her to sleep, with her in my arms, I feel a love towards her so deep I never felt before. These dreams feel so really Cloud Dancing. I don't know what to do anymore."

Cloud Dancing had listen to his brother carefully. Never had he heard anything like that coming from Sully. He had never been a man of many words but this time it seemed like a door had been opened which was buried deep down, never meant to be opened again.

Choosing his words carefully, Cloud Dancing replied.

"A man needs a woman. Someone to care, share and trust. With whom he can believe. For him to have a reason to live, so two can share oneness. The beauty of a woman

must be seen from her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart.

You have seen her heart, Sully. You have found your soul mate in your dreams. And last night your souls reached out to find the other. What you both have experienced does not happen randomly. Both hearts have found the other half that makes you whole."

"How can I have found the woman that I belong to, when I don't even know her?" Somehow afraid of hearing the answer, he turned his glance away from Cloud Dancing.

"Look into your heart and you will find the answer."

Standing up, Cloud Dancing placed his hand on his friend's bare shoulder,

"I will leave you alone now. Open your heart to the unknown and you will find what you are looking for. What is still missing is trust, Sully. It's time to _trust _in your heart again," and with that he left Sully alone for the second time. Alone with his thoughts and dreams.

Breathing in the sick and hot air, Sully tried to follow Cloud Dancing advice again. Open your heart. Taking more herbs from his medicine pouch, he asked the great spirits again, to guide him through the unknown. Sprinkling the herbs over the hot stones, he began to chant. After what seemed an eternity, Sully's exhausted body fell down on the buffalo fur. It didn't take long and the dreams came to him again.

"_Sully put me down I am getting dizzy", she laughed at him with that heavenly smile he loved so much._

"_I am sorry. I just can't believe you are here with me and that you said yes." He looked down at her hand where he could see the engagement ring sparkling from her finger. _

"_You are officially promised to me. Everything seems so unreal." Sully took both her hands in his and looked deeply into her eyes. _

_Not wasting a moment longer, she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. _

"_I know. Sometimes I can't believe we have really made it. There were times I wasn't really sure what I felt was real. That my heart belonged to you the first moment I saw you in my dreams."_

"_We trusted in our hearts, Michaela!"_

_Sully buried his head in to her soft, long hair, inhaling her sweet scent and whispered into her hear._

"_I love you so much and I can't wait to spent the rest of my life with you. To feel the gentle and loving touch of your hands every night we go to sleep and each morning when we lay in each others arms. Showing you every day how grateful I am that you picked up the scattered pieces that were once me."_

"_Oh Sully, I love you so much," with that she didn't wait any longer and pressed him against her, claiming her lips with his in a hungry and passionate kiss. _

_Sully easily lost control about what his body wanted and his mind telling him. He knew that she was promised to him so he didn't mind taking everything a little further. But just a little. _

_Taking her completely into his arms he lowered himself onto the grass taking her with him. Laying her beneath his body, he kissed her eyes, her cheeks and her nose until he finally reached her mouth again in a everlasting kiss. She opened up to him again. Oh, how the way her lips felt, so soft, so warm, smooth like silk and the way her tongue felt in his mouth. The kiss was filled with passion and with a promise that they will never let go. She kissed him so deeply that his heart started to race like it never had before. Finally breaking of the kiss, he looked at her again. She was doing it again, taking away his fears, his pain with just a simple look. _

"Michaela," was the first word Sully whispered when he woke up from his dream. His Michaela.

New life was breathing into Sully. "We trusted in our hearts, Michaela."


	7. Chapter 7

Days had been passing by quickly after that special night Michaela and Sully had shared.

Every night Michaela Quinn would stand at her window, wishing upon the stars to hear his voice again. But it never came. Only the intense feeling that made her body tremble and leaving her longing for more. He had the ability of setting her entire being on fire and showing her feelings inside of her she never knew existed, leaving her wishing the nights would never end. But with these feelings inside her, she had tried to make the best out of each day and was looking forward each night to be close to him again.

But tonight would be different.

After another long day, she finally wanted to put the last file down onto the finished stack of papers when she heard a knock at her door.

Sighing, she called out, "Come in."

To her surprise she saw William entering her office. He had been very distant in the last few days and Michaela didn't know if he wanted to give her the space she needed or if he wanted her out of his life.

"Good evening, Michaela."

Not sure of what was about to happen, she just gave him a short nod. "William."

"I came to apologize. I didn't mean to have stayed away from you the last days but I thought it would do us both good." If it would have been his choice, he would have stayed away from her even longer, but it wasn't.

"I guess you needed the space more than I did." Seeing the instant hurt in his eyes, she immediately regretted her answer.

"I am sorry William. I didn't…" but William interrupted her. Not wasting any time he came straight to the point.

"Michaela, I want you to rethink about the answer you have giving me. I…"

"Excuse me?"

Realizing that this had been the wrong approach, he softened his voice and tried it again, this time kneeling down next to her and taking one hand in his own.

It happened so fast Michaela didn't realized what happened until it was too late.

"Michaela, please think about it. We know each other for so long and you know that I care for you. I would be a good husband and…."

"William, what…?"

"I had a lot to think about and I am asking you here and now, Will you marry me?"

Michaela couldn't believe her ears. Had William just proposed to her? Here in her office? After she had denied even courting him? Anger filled her heart. How could he do this?

Pushing his hand away, she rose from her seat, taking him with her.

"William I thought my answer had been clear to you. I am not, and I repeat, I am not going to court or marry you. Why is this so difficult for you to understand? I don't love you!"

William saw the anger and disappointment in her eyes and he wished he didn't have to do that, but knew there was no other choice. But to avoid any further damage, he left for the door and just turned around before he was out.

"Your mother invited me for dinner tonight. She is expecting an answer." Wanting to leave as fast as possible, he didn't wait for any reaction and closed the door behind him.

Once outside, he leaned against the door. It was done. Closing his eyes he tried to calm his breathing. He wished he could go back inside and tell her how sorry he was and that he didn't want to do it. But he couldn't. He had to think about himself in this situation. He just prayed that she would think about her answer again and would come to the right conclusion. That a marriage with him wouldn't be that bad after all.

But he couldn't be further away from the truth.

Inside, Michaela stood frozen at her desk. She still didn't believe what had just happened. William had proposed to her even though she had denied courting him. And her mother! Did she actually had convinced William to propose to her? After all, she had warned her. But would her mother really be that cruel?

Not wanting to wait any longer and determined to find out what was going on, she packed her belongings and immediately left her office.

---

Stepping into the dining room, Elizabeth and William were already seated at the table. Realizing that this would be not going to her mothers liking tonight, Michaela tried to calm her racing heart.

"Good Evening Michaela."

"Mother, William."

Not wanting to be the first one to set the fire, Michaela kept silence.

She took the seat across from William and studied her friend closely.

His head was down and his hands were folded on the table. He hadn't said a word yet which was a sign for Michaela that William was very uncomfortable.

But Michaela couldn't control the curiosity anymore. Risking another outburst from her mother, Michaela was the first one to speak. Turning her head now towards Elizabeth, she asked, "Could you please explain what's going on mother?"

Instantly, noticing the bitterness in her daughters voice, she tried to stay calm and just answered, "William can answer that question."

Looking back at William, she spoke to him directly. "William would you please?"

But William still had his head down. Breathing harder.

With a more urgent voice now, Elizabeth spoke to him again. "William for heavens sake, would you please speak up!"

Nothing.

"William!"

Finally raising his head, he straighten his back. "I am sorry Mrs. Quinn but I cannot do that." Not giving her an opportunity to speak, he continued, now looking directly at Michaela. "Michaela, I am so sorry for what happened to day. I shouldn't have done what I did. I should have never asked for your hand. I hope that some day you can forgive me."

William knew that this was probably the end of it all. That he would lose everything in one single night. But he just couldn't do it.

Stunned, Elizabeth put her hand on her chest. "How could you William! Didn't we talked about this? Don't you do any mistakes now."

"Mother!" Michaela had finally enough. She couldn't believe what she witnessed in front of her. But William interrupted her. "The only mistake I did was listening to your nonsense. And now I have risked the friendship with Michaela." Looking over to Michaela, he hoped for her understanding. "Michaela, your mother came to me with the thread, that if I don't convince you to marry me, she would do everything that I lose my license as a doctor. That I would never have the chance to practice anywhere else."

Elizabeth, who watched in horror what was happening, tried to interfere "Michaela don't listen to him. He…" But William didn't stop, all the while starring at Michaela. "I am sorry that I was not stronger. You know that practicing is my life as it is for you and that I can't imagine not being a doctor but I don't want to hurt you anymore. I care for you too much."

Now determined to finish, he rose from his seat, and steadied himself with his hands on the table, gazing back to a stunned Elizabeth. "Mrs. Quinn, I don't even know why I was afraid of you and agreed to your plan. But it stops here. Do what you want." With that, William grabbed his coat from the chair and left quietly.

Then there was silence.

Michaela starred at the empty place in front of her. She had prepared herself for anything, to confront her mother and William. But she had never expected what had just played in front of her.

At the very moment, Elizabeth tried desperately to find a way of convincing her daughter that nothing had been true of what William had said.

"Michaela, that is not true. I would never…."

"Stop."

"Don't you dare to…."

"I said stop mother. How could you do this to me? To your own daughter. And William! He had nothing to do with this." Raising from her seat, she continued. "I am not going to change. Change to suit your ways. To live a life you want for me." Pausing, she decided if she should go on. But it was already to late. "I guess you treat me like you do because I am unreachable for you. If you continue to treat me as you are, I believe there is nothing left for me here."

Then there was silence again.

Michaela thought that any moment, the silence would be broken by her mothers outburst. But there came nothing. Instead, Elizabeth rose from her chair, laid her napkin on the table and inhaled deeply. Never in her life had she thought she would say that to any of her daughters. Calmly she replied, "at least we finally agree, Michaela. If _you _want to continue to live under this roof, you better live up to what is expected of you, if you cannot do that, I believe you know what you have to do. Goodnight Michaela." Glancing a last time at her daughter, Elizabeth left, leaving a perplex Michaela behind.

Never had Michaela felt so disappointed before. Understanding her mothers words correctly, she would no longer belong to the family if she wouldn't change.

Michaela sank back down on to her chair. Stunned and angry at herself, she covered her face with her hands and began to weep uncontrollably.

Michaela didn't know how much time had passed but suddenly felt a soft hand on her shoulder. For a split second, she thought that her mother had returned but then looked into the eyes of her friend Miriam. Wiping away her tears with her handkerchief, Michaela was surprised to see her friend.

"Miriam, what are you doing her?"

Taking the seat next to her, Miriam took Michaela into her arms. "Oh Michaela, William told me what happened. He thought that you might need someone to talk to." Letting Michaela out if her embrace, she looked into the now reddened eyes of her best friend. "I am so sorry, Michaela. I can't believe your mother did that."

Taking a deep breath, Michaela left out a lout sigh. Not thinking about herself in that moment, she asked, "How is William?"

"Well, he will be alright but he is angry with himself that he didn't stand up to your mother sooner." Pausing, Miriam took her friends hand. "What happened with you and your mother? I guess she was not happy about how the evening turned out."

"Of course not, Miriam. And I think I did the worst mistake ever. I challenged her."

"Oh Michaela, what happened?"

"Well, I told her that I won't change and if she can't accept that, that there was nothing left for me here and she agreed. I don't know what to do now."

Not knowing what to reply at first, she just squeezed Michaela's hand. But then rose from her seat as she spoke. "Come on, you come with me. You can stay as long as you want. My husband and the boys are not home anyway, that gives us enough time to talk."

Not giving Michaela a chance to protest, she took her by her hand and pulled her out of the Quinn's house.

---

Both now sitting comfortable in Miriam's living room a while later, sipping at the hot cup of tee in their hands, they talked about the earlier events.

"I just can't live up to her expectations, Miriam. I never could. I feel like I am a burden to her that she can't get rid of."

"That is not true, Michaela. She loves you."

"Yes it is. The moment I decided to become a doctor, she did everything she could to make me feel guilty. That I should stop this nonsense and be a part of the women society. Always wearing elegant cloths, behaving like a real lady and accept suitors. I never did anything to please her. And sometimes I think she is right. Look at me. I am 31 and the only man in my life, is a man I met in my dreams."

Glad now, that they could change the subject to a more pleasant one, Miriam reminded her. "But you know that he is real and that he feels same way about you. The only question is now, how you guys will find to each other. Did you have more dreams about him?".

Feeling her cheeks growing hot, she avoided the gaze of her friend and instead, turned her head and starred out the window. Closing her eyes, she remembered the last dreams she had. Feeling his hands worshipping every part of her body, feeling the taste of his kisses, his penetrating blue eyes.

"Michaela. Did you hear me?"

Opening her eyes, Michaela let her eyes wander back to the cup in her hand. "Yes, I still have these dreams."

"And?"

"Well, they are dreams. Nothing more. I stand at my window each night and I can feel him bit I don't hear his voice anymore. Maybe it wasn't meant to be."

"No, Michaela. I still see the glow about you when you told me what happened that night. That this is real. That you felt home for the first time. I remember your excitement about having heard his voice. He is out there, Michaela. Don't give up now!"

Loosing control, Michaela felt her tears anew. "Do you really think I don't know all this? I know I love him and that I would nothing more then to find him and spent the rest of my life with him. To feel his arms around me, to be kissed by his lips and stare into these beautiful blue eyes and know that nothing can separate us anymore. He is all I am thinking about. Wanting to know where he could be, what he was doing right at this moment. If he would be thinking of me as much as I am thinking about him. Sometimes I would suddenly turn around and desperately look back at the crowd in the hope of seeing him among the people. Thinking I had seen him but being disappointed every time again." Trying to stop her tears from falling she took a few breaths and whispered, "I don't want to give up, Miriam but I just don't know what to do any more."

Even if Miriam had tried to interfere, she couldn't have stopped Michaela from blurting out what had been inside her for quit some time.

"You know what I think?"

Gulping back her sobs, Michaela asked, "What?"

"I think you should go away for a while. You always wanted to see the world. Maybe know is your chance to start anew and you can find a place you can practice medicine the way you want it."

"But that doesn't solve the problem about him. No matter where I go, or what I do, I won't be happy if I don't find out more."

"If it is meant to be, you will find each other."

Seeing that Michaela considered her friends suggestion, Miriam rose from the couch and went over to a small table in the corner of the room, picked up a paper and walked back to Michaela.

Holding it now in front of her, she smiled down at Michaela. "Maybe this little town out west could help you. They are looking for a doctor. I found the advertisement yesterday." Handing her the newspaper, Miriam sat down next to Michaela again.

"What do you think?"

Michaela was reading it over and over again.

"_Colorado Springs, Colorado. In desperate need of a doctor. Clinic and accommodation available. Please reply as soon as possible."_

"Michaela? Michaela, what is it?"

Still starring at the ad in the newspaper, Michaela replied, "I don't know. I have this strange feeling."

Curious, Miriam asked, "what feeling?"

"When I read this, I get this incredible warm feeling. The feeling I have become to know so well in the last days."

"You mean…"

"It's the same feeling Miriam, The same incredible felling I had that night when I heard his voice."

"Well," Miriam answered with a laugh, "maybe you will find him sooner then you thought."

---

"But if you want to buy that land, you know you need to…"

"Go to town. I know," acknowledged Sully, finishing Cloud Dancing's thought.

Listening to the sound of fire burning, staring at it's glow and watching the sparks dance upward against the evening sky, Sully felt more at peace that he had in a long time but the thought of going back to town, tied a knob in his throat.

Cloud Dancing, who was sitting across Sully from the campfire, knew that it would be hard for his brother to face the many faces in town he didn't desire to see once again.

"I have told you before, that you have to let go of the past, before you can move on. But you have seen it in your dream. You have seen the future. The only reason that will keep it from happening is you, or do you think she will find you out here in the woods?"

Considering his replies, Sully had to admit that seeing some of his friends might do him some good. He at least knew from one little boy, who would be happy to see him.

And then there was, of course Loren Bray, Abigail's father, who would probably not be pleased to see him back in town.

But the thought of Michaela brought him back down to earth. Cloud Dancing was right. If he ever wanted Michaela to find him, he might not have another choice.

Pouring the rest of his coffee in to the flames, Sully rose from the log he was sitting on and told Cloud Dancing, "I know you are right but I need to sleep on it. Good night, Cloud Dancing."

Cloud Dancing watched him leave and gave a short prayer to the spirits to help him make the right decision.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

With his heart at peace and his mind at ease, Sully was laying beneath the stars. With the moon the only light and the cool winds across his face, his thoughts turned back to Michaela, wishing to get a glimpse of her and feel her again. Her arms wrapped around him, that made him feel protected from the blowing wind. Nothing could be more right at this moment than having Michaela in his arms.

"Sully!"

He even thought he had heard Michaela's voice calling his name. Her lovely voice. Then there was it again, "Sully, I am here." Then, looking up, he saw her face, instantly gazing deeply in her eyes and was captured by her beauty anew. "Michaela!" Sully rose to his knees. She was walking towards him now and with every step she took, Sully's heart was beating faster and faster, his body burning from desire. She stood before him now and sunk down on to her knees. Instantly, Sully brushed her hair aside and gently kissed her soft lips. They held each other closely, feeling that everything was falling into place. This love would never pass and it sets itself free. All they need to care for is each other.

Moving slowly away from the kiss, Sully took her hands in his and brought them up to his lips to give them the same attention. Looking back into her eyes, he whispered, "You came."

"Your love has brought me here, Sully." Michaela took his hand with hers and touched his heart. "Your love will always find me here until I see you again!"

"Stay with me now. I don't want to let you go," Sully pleaded.

Brushing back a lock from his face, she promised, "soon." Sully felt her kiss him softly on his cheek, before she let go and rose from her knees. He wanted to go with her but she held him back. "Soon."

Sully had no other choice in letting her go and watched with a heavy heart when she disappeared into the darkness. "She would come soon," Sully repeated to himself. "Soon."

Sully watched the stars long into the night, his thoughts never leaving her, before the soft, rustling sounds of the trees lulled him to sleep. And his dreams turned to her as they did each time he closed his eyes.

--

At the same time in Boston, Michaela Quinn was laying in bed, trying to fall asleep. With every breath she took and thinking about the choices she had, her heart felt heavier. Could she really leave Boston behind and act on her feelings to just leave and go to Colorado Springs? "Maybe I can," she thought out loud. She knew, if she would stay here in Boston, nothing will ever change, because _she _wouldn't change. No, She couldn't live a life that was not meant for her. She was sure about that. But what would await her in Colorado Springs? Would they even consider hiring a female doctor? But the question that plagued her the most, came again and again: would he be there? Yes, she had these same feelings whenever she would read the lines over and over again. But was that just wishful thinking?

Then she felt a gentle brush of his fingers on her cheek, so soft and loving, sending shivers down her spine. Smiling, she let out a content sigh. It felt so real. She wanted to open her eyes to see his staring right back at her but was afraid to do so.

Enjoying the loving touch of his hand, she whispered, "that feels so good."

"Open your eyes."

But she was afraid.

"Open your eyes. Trust me," she heard him whispering again. Slowly opening her eyes, she saw him kneeling at her bed smiling back at her just inches from her face. Her heart racing now her body trembling. How she wished he was real. Moving her hand to touch his long hair and then lovingly caressing his face she whispered, "how I wished you were really here."

Taking her small hand in his, he placed them over her heart, creating a new, sensational love. Joys and sorrows of an entire lifetime forgotten. With one touch, two worlds, two hearts, two souls joined as one.

Squeezing her hand lightly, he promised, "I am here. I am always in your heart, Michaela."

"How am I supposed to find you?"

Sully just smiled and moved closer. Closer and closer until finally his lips touched hers in a tender, soft kiss. New life was breathing in to Michaela as their tongues touched for the first time. Feeling the intense love from just one kiss, set her heart and body on fire. As to be afraid that she would wake any moment she clung to him as she would never let go again. But Sully pulled away.

His hand still over her heart, he promised, "Listen to what you feel in here. Follow your heart, and you'll find me."

"Please don't go. I…"

Caressing her cheek and wiping away her tears with his thumb, he whispered "We will see each other soon, Michaela. I promise."

Between her sobs, she tried to ask, "How do you know my name? I don't even know yours?"

Smiling, he replied, "you are not the only one having dreams." Pausing, he added,

"Believe me, everything will turn out as it is meant to be."

Sully was moving away from her and Michaela tried desperately to pull him back.

"Don't leave me."

"I will never leave you, and… name's Sully."

Sully! She finally knew his name. Closing her eyes, she felt tears of joy. "Sully. Sully." She couldn't repeat his name often enough. Now blinking through her tears she saw that he had left her. She was alone again, but her heart filled with new hope. Taking the newspaper from her nightstand, reading the ad again, she knew what she had to do. First thing tomorrow morning she would go to the telegraph office and apply for a position as a doctor in Colorado Springs.

---

Still with the dreams fresh in their minds, Michaela and Sully had felt a new intensity of their love for the other in the morning that neither one of them could explain, and would treasure these moments forever until they would find each other.

---

Michaela and Miriam were on the way to the telegraph office to send a wire to Colorado Springs, when they suddenly came across William Burke.

Feeling, that Michaela and William needed some time to talk, Miriam excused herself and told Michaela that she would be waiting at the telegraph office.

Now alone with William, Michaela was the first one to speak.

"William, I am so glad to see you. I know it must have been very difficult for you but I want to thank you for telling me the truth yesterday."

William wasn't really prepared to see Michaela that soon again but decided to stay since he knew it must have been very hard on her as well, finding out what really happened.

Realizing that Michaela was waiting for an answer, he tried to explain.

"I am so sorry Michaela that I had let it happened. I know that it was my foolish pride that kept me from telling the truth or even to stop your mother. I just didn't want to accept that you said no to me and then Elizabeth came and threatened me if I would give up now, she would make sure that I won't be able to practice anymore. I shouldn't have listened to her and just walked away. But I didn't."

"No, you didn't but I am glad that it actually happened. Now I see my mother for who she really is. I know now that I cannot change her or make her happy unless I do what she expects from me. Giving up practicing and marrying you. But we both know that this will never happen, so there only one possibility for me." Pausing Michaela added, "I am applying for a position as a doctor in Colorado Springs. I found the ad yesterday in the paper. They are desperate for a doctor."

Michaela wasn't sure how William would take the news that there was a great chance that she would leave Boston. But to her surprise, William smiled at her. "I am happy for you. You always wanted to see the world and have your own clinic. I hope they will accept. They would get a great physician."

Now Michaela smiled back at him. He had used the same exact words as Miriam. "Thank you William for your understanding, and I hope that someday you can forgive me as well. I hope that we still can be friends."

Of course it broke William's heart anew but if he wanted to keep her in his life, even if she would be far away, he had to put his feelings aside. Taking her hand and raised it to his lips, he savored her soft skin for the last time. Then looking in to her eyes, he promised " I will still be there for you when you need me. Good luck, Michaela." With that he let go of her hand and disappeared in to the crowd.

Michaela felt relieved. William would always be in her heart. But he was the past and Michaela needed to look to the future. With that in mind she walked over to the office where Miriam had been patiently waiting for her.

"Are you alright Michaela?"

"Yes I am fine, Miriam. But now it's time to send the telegram."

----

In Colorado Springs, Sully was on his way to town. His legs grew heavier with each step he came closer and he felt a lump forming in his throat, each time thinking about seeing Loren Bray for the first time after such a long time.

But Sully was sure of himself and actually was excited as well. He wanted to buy that land and to be able to that, he had to talk to Jake Slicker, the barber and major of the town. He wanted to start as soon as possible on building the new house he wanted for him and Michaela. Yes, Sully knew that he would marry her someday and since he didn't know when he would actually "meet" Michaela for the first time, he wanted to be ready.

Slowly the sight of the small town came into view. It looked exactly the same as Sully remembered it.

Taking a deep breath, he came to the edge of town and immediately was glad that not many people were around and felt actually a little relieved about that. It would mean he could go straight to the person he wanted to see first.

Knocking at the door, Sully heard a woman's voice calling out, "I'm coming." He heard footsteps coming closer and a moment later the door flew open.

As soon as Charlotte Cooper opened the door, she couldn't believe who stood in front of her.

"Oh my god! Is that really you, Sully?"

Chuckling, Sully answered, "Yes, Charlotte, it's really me. It's been awhile."

"Yes it has. I've seen you a few times at Abigail's grave and…oh I am sorry Sully, I…"

"It's alright Charlotte. A lot has happened since then. Is Brian here? I guess I've a lot explaining to do."

Smiling, Charlotte responded, "Yes, he is here. I think he will be quite happy to see that you are back." Turning her head, Charlotte called for Brian. "Brian! Come here, please!"

"Coming Ma."

Brian came running towards the door but stopped immediately as he saw who stood before him. He didn't say a word, just stared at Sully. He wasn't sure if he should yell at him for just leaving without saying good bye or run straight in to Sully's arms. He just stood there.

Sully kneeled down to be eyelevel with the young boy. "Hey Brian." Seeing no reaction coming from Brian, he continued. "Brian, I know that you're mad at me cause I wasn't around. But I had my reasons. What do you think? Do you think you can forgive me?

Brian hesitated. He wanted nothing more than to have his friend back but he was afraid that he would leave again, so he wanted to be sure. "You stay? You don't leave again?"

"I won't"

But Brian wasn't convinced yet. "You promise?"

Putting his hand on his chest, Sully answered, "I promise."

Happy with the answer Sully has given him, he started running as fast as his little legs would allow him and was soon in Sully's embrace.

Crying now, he whispered, "I missed you Sully." Tightening his grip around Brian, he answered, "I missed you too, Brian. I am sorry I wasn't here."

Charlotte who stood silent next to Sully, felt her own tears coming. Brian had been devastated when Sully had left. The last time Brian had seen Sully, when he had collapsed at his wife's grave a few weeks ago.

"Come on Sully, get in here. I want to know how you are. You seem different."

Letting go of Brian who still clung to him, he stood and explained to Charlotte, "I would like that, but I need to do something first. Then I will come back", looking down to Brian again, he smiled, "I promise."

Curious, Charlotte asked, "What is it you need to do?"

Smiling broadly now, Sully said, "I need to talk to Jake. I wanna buy some land." Seeing Charlotte's surprised look, he added, "I will explain later."

Sully left the porch of Charlotte's property and made his way over to the Barber Shop and hoped that Jake wouldn't have any costumers at this moment. The luck seemed to be on his side today.

Stepping in, he took a look around but couldn't see Jake anywhere.

"Jake"

Jake came out of his second room and as soon he saw who the costumer was, he folded his arms in front of him. "Look who is back. You finally have the guts to come back here?"

"Jake, I know what I did was wrong but I can't change it. But tell me, how would you feel, if your wife had been taken from you just after the day you found out, you are becoming a pa. Tell me Jake, what would you have done?"

Looking back at Sully, Jake kept silent. He didn't know.

"I figured," Sully said. "So, can we talk about something else now?"

"What do you want?"

"I wanna buy some land…"

-----

Back at his lean-to again, Sully thought of how the first time had felt being back in town. He had actually managed to see most his friends again. Robert E, Grace, Horace, Dorothy Myra and even Hank. Everyone had been happy to see Sully in good spirits again and of course were curious what had changed him but Sully had no intention of coming out with what really happened and kept quiet. Of course he had been glad that everybody welcomed him home with open arms which would make is life a lot easier but still had noticed how everyone had stared at him. Sully actually had realized that he couldn't care less about what's going on around him because the only thing that counted was to find Michaela. That was the main reason why he had decided to go to town anyway. What ever the townspeople would say or think about him, didn't matter that much to him anymore as it used to be.

The only person missing, had been Loren. They told him he had left town shortly after his daughter had died. Everything had reminded him of his Abigail. One day he just couldn't take it anymore and decided to start a new life in Manitou Springs.

Then in the afternoon he had made it back to Charlotte again. Brian of course had been thrilled that Sully had kept his promise of coming back. It had been late in the afternoon, when Sully finally had left town.

Now laying beneath the stars again, his thoughts turned back to Michaela. When would he finally see her? When would the time come to not just dream about her but also to live the dream with her? Every day he was wondering how they would meet and how it would feel to finally see her among the crowd.

But Sully didn't know yet that by meeting Michaela, his dreams for a shared future could be falling apart once again.

* * *

_Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think! Chapter 9 will be up soon...._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

A week had passed and there was still no reply from Colorado Springs. Michaela was worried that the townspeople would decide against her, or that they already had found a new doctor and didn't bother to let her know.

But every night she had the profound love of Sully. Encouraging her, to follow her dreams and to never let go. If they would fight for their love they would see each other in no time. He gave her strengths to fight her inner battle of leaving her family behind and start all over again.

Standing again at the window to her heart, she watched the clear sky which seemed to glow with the moon shining so bright.

Michaela was lost in thought when she felt his strong arms encircled her in to a soft embrace. She leaned into him and moved her arms atop his, melting their bodies together. Sully inhaled her sweet scent and moved his head to touch her cheek with his.

"I'll wait for you forever, Michaela," Sully whispered close to her ear.

Michaela shivered from the timbre of his voice. "I know you got hurt deep inside of you. I could feel it. But I promise you everything is gonna be alright. I am here for you, Michaela. I always will be." Sully tightened his arms around her, squeezing her lightly. "Never give up. No matter what happened, never forget that if darkness blinds you, I'll shine and be there to guide you."

Touched by his words, Michaela felt her tears wetting their skin. Sully nuzzled her neck and planted soft kisses to her exposed skin. "Oh Sully, even if we are worlds apart, I just can't see my life without you anymore. I don't know how you found me, but from the moment I saw your clear blue eyes, deep inside my heart I knew you and I were meant to be."

"We are Michaela. All we need is a little faith that our love will find a way," Sully whispered.

"I just want to hold you forever. I need you more and more each day, Sully. In your arms I have everything I need. I can't imagine what I would do without you. And it's frightening me, Sully."

"You saved my heart Michaela. You made me love again. If you can't find me, I'll move heaven and earth until I find you. I promise, Michaela."

"Thank you for loving me, Sully." Michaela felt Sully's arms leaving her, giving her a last, soft kiss on her cheek, caressing her other with the back of his hand. "Thank you for loving me back, Michaela," Sully whispered before he was gone again.

Michaela wrapped her arms tightly around her to keep his warmth and to keep the cold away that was slowly touching her skin. The moon vanished slowly behind the forming clouds and Michaela was left in the darkness. But her heart? Her heart was shining. Shining as never before.

She moved over to her bed and settled beneath the covers. Turning on the lamp next to her, she removed a piece of paper and a pen from the drawer of her nightstand. Remembering Sully's words, Michaela had realized that nothing else was more important than love which made her think about her mother again.

She had tried several attempts to talk to her but her mother had refused to even see her daughter unless she came to apologize. Since Michaela didn't want to give in, she had left the house every time with a feeling that nothing she would ever do would bring them back closer again and that there might not be a relationship after all when her mother would find out about her leaving Boston. But Sully's words had reminded her how precious love is and that no distance could fade what's in your heart. She would always feel it.

With these thoughts in mind, Michaela knew what she needed to do. Taking the pen, she began to write.

-----

With the letter safe in her pocket and at peace with herself, Michaela left Miriam's house the next morning.

Now, sitting in the carriage that would take her home for the last time, Michaela had time to think of how she would approach her mother that won't lead to a fight again and hoped to find the right words to express what she wanted to tell her for so long but never did.

Standing now in front of the house, where she had spent all her life, memories of good and bad times came back to her mind. The times she had spent with her father in his office, each birthday they had celebrated together as a family, her sisters weddings, and at last the funeral of her beloved father. She would always carry these memories with her, wherever she would be. It gave her strength anew to finally meet her mother. Taking a couple of deep breaths, she opened the heavy door.

Harrison greeted Michaela with a loving smile. "Miss Quinn, welcome home," but then his smile faded. "Unfortunately, Mrs. Quinn is till not ready for a conversation. She…"

Cutting him off, Michaela said with a soft voice, "Thank you Harrison. But I don't care if she is ready or not. I need to talk to her," pausing, she added, "I am leaving Boston. So, would you please tell me where I can find my mother or do I have to look around the whole house first."

Seeing Miss Quinn's face, he saw the gleam back in her eyes that always had brightened his day, especially when Mrs. Quinn had one of her furious days. Answering her with a soft smile, he said, "she is in the dining room, drinking a cup of tea. Good luck Miss Quinn and I am sorry that you are leaving. I wish you all the best."

"Thank you Harrison. For everything. Please excuse me now."

Michaela saw her mother sitting at the table, with her back to the entrance. Slowly, taking a deep breath, she started to speak. "Hello Mother."

Elizabeth had heard Michaela entering the dining room and her speaking but without batting an eyelash, she continued to sip at her tea. She had no intention of talking to her daughter.

Seeing no reaction, Michaela continued to speak, hoping she would be able to reach her.

"I came here today because I want to thank you, Mother. To thank you for making me the person I am today. Without you, I wouldn't be doing this what I am doing now…"

"What do you want, Michaela?" interrupted Elizabeth with a harsh voice not wanting to listen to a sentimental Michaela.

Trying to control her raising temper, Michaela replied with a soft voice, "I want you to turn around and look me in the eyes, Mother." But seeing again no reaction, she walked over to her and put a hand on her mother's shoulder, sensing her muscles jerk under her touch. "Please Mother, at least listen to me what I have to say then I am going to leave you alone." Kneeling beside her, she touched her mother's hand softly. "I still love you, Mother and I know that I will forgive you someday for what you have done. But you have to accept that I need to live my life how I want it and not how you want it," pausing, Michaela looked down at their hands. "And that is why I am leaving Boston." Hearing the last words, Elizabeth removed her hand from beneath her daughter's. Looking away from her, Elizabeth finally spoke. "You are ruining your life Michaela. You have everything you need right here. What are you running away from, Michaela?" For the first time, she looked Michaela in the eyes now. "What would your father think about you now, Michaela?"

"He would be proud of me because I follow my heart."

"Your heart Michaela? That is nonsense."

Michaela had promised herself not to react to her mother's hurting words and to keep it that way, she rose from her knees again. Walking over to the table, she reached in to her pocket and pulled out the letter she had written the night before. Lying it on the table, Michaela looked back to her mother. "I really hoped we would have come to terms but somehow I knew you wouldn't listen to me. I am sorry Mother, but I made my decision. I am leaving tomorrow for Colorado Springs."

Elizabeth turned around. Looking Michaela directly in her eyes she saw determination. She knew right at this instant, no matter what she would say, she couldn't convince her daughter to stay. But nonetheless, it didn't stop her from saying what Michaela had feared the most. "If you walk out that door today than you are no longer my daughter. Do you hear me Michaela Quinn?" Touching the letter again, Michaela knew she had tried everything. Before she would say anything she would regret later, she spoke the last words to her mother. "If you ever want to know how I feel, read this. I am sorry it has to end like this. But you don't leave me another choice. Good bye Mother."

With that she went up to her old room, packed her belongings and at last put her shingle and a family portrait in her suitcase. Taking a last glance around, she closed the door quietly behind her.

Passing the dining room again, she saw her mother still sitting at the table, staring at the cup of tea in front of her. Sighing, Michaela left her mother and walked towards the entrance where Harrison already opened the door for her. With a weak smile she looked up at him, "Thank you Harrison. Please take care of my mother."

"I will Miss Quinn. I hope I can welcome you back someday."

"Someday Harrison, someday. Good bye."

With that, Michaela Quinn stepped through the door and left her old life behind and for the first time she felt free. Free from expectations…free from fitting in…free from her mother. She had taken the right decision. Now she was looking forward to a new adventure and wishing she would be in the arms of the man she loved very soon.

Before Michaela walked back to Miriam, she needed to say a last good bye. Her father.

Kneeling down, she put the flowers she just had bought on her fathers grave. With the back of her hand, she wiped away her tears. "I am leaving Father. I decided it's time to find out who I really am." Pausing, she let her tears running down freely. "You once told me that each day is a gift, that each second counts and that it is never to late to take the life into our own hands. That is what I am trying to do now. I need to find that man I want to spent the rest of my life with." Raising from her knees, she touched the stone for the last time. "I will never forget what you have done for me, Father. Keep watch over Mother. She doesn't understand. I love you!"

Michaela didn't turn back. She just wanted to leave everything behind. Now she was ready to face what the future would have in store for her. One thing she knew for sure. No matter how hard it might get, she won't give up. Michaela Quinn had never giving up and she wouldn't start now.

------------

"That is the only reply we have Jake. It's been two weeks since we posted the ad," Reverend Johnson reasoned to Jake.

The townspeople were sitting at Grace's Café discussing the reply of a doctor who just had send a telegram in offering his service. Grace, Robert E., Dorothy, Horace, Myra sat at one table, while Hank, Jake and the Reverend shared another.

"We should wait longer. We survived without a doc just fine. A few days won't matter," replied Jake.

But Dorothy interfered, "Why do you want to wait longer Jake? Because you don't want another doctor here? Because you think you are the doctor? Well you are wrong Jake."

"Dorothy is right." agreed Horace.

"Horace you are a man, you should be on my side here," answered Jake, rolling his eyes.

"Well, I am not," replied Horace and sat straighter in his chair, receiving a warm smile from Myra.

"Horace has spoken, people. You should listen to him." Hank hat watched the scene with quite amusement. Flipping his cigar away with two fingers, he added," it might not be a bad idea. I need someone to look after my girls and you are not able to Jake" and grinned from ear to ear.

"Are you crazy Hank? Didn't you have enough to drink, or a bad woman last night? I am trying to treat your "girls" Hank. But most of the time they have women problems and I don't know anything about that" answered Jake annoyed.

But Hank just continued to grin. "Of course you don't know, because you never had a woman, Jake."

Everyone turned their heads to Hank.

"Hank!," answered Dorothy.

Then Myra spoke up. " I would feel a lot safer if we would have a doctor around. Especially for the birth of our first child." Horace squeezed her hand tightly. "Yeah, Myra is getting close. I know that Charlotte is a good midwife but….." and his voice trailed off. Praying that everything will be alright.

But then, Dorothy was the one who would change everybody's mind. "I agree with Horace. Charlotte couldn't help Abigail. If anything would happened again what happened to her, we still won't have help. Unless we would hire the new doctor." Everyone thought back to the horrible day Abigail Sully had died. Nothing could be done for Abigail to survive. Then Dorothy continued to speak. "Who else shares my opinion raise their hands."

Dorothy looked around. Everyone raised their hands, even Jake. Smiling, Dorothy looked over to Horace. "Horace, I think you need to send a telegram to our new doctor."

---------

Sully was still at his lean-to this morning. He had woken up with a strange feeling in his stomach that something might be wrong with Michaela. He had wanted to go to town but the feeling had intensified, a heavy feeling in his heart he couldn't get rid off and couldn't explain.

Then he saw her in front of him. At first it had put a smile on Sully's face. Michaela was walking towards him with the most beautiful dress he had ever seen. Completely in white. Her hair was down and her smile almost took his breath away. She had been so close, he almost could have reached her but then her face started to look pale. Tears were forming in her eyes. She reached out to him but no matter what Sully had tried he couldn't reach her hand. And then he had heard her voice. "I am sorry Sully." Tears were streaming down her cheeks, her eyes red. He had called out to her but she couldn't hear him. And then she had turned around and had disappeared.

Sully's heart was racing now. Fear of losing her was clearly written on his face now. Why had she walked away? Why did she say I am sorry? He started to panic. She was drifting away from him and he could do nothing about it. He was losing her.

Trying to slow his breathing he tried to focus but it wouldn't work. He felt nothing.

A cold wind caressed his body now, loneliness became his friend again. Sully wanted to start running, yelling, screaming, crying, searching for a way out. But he couldn't. He was stuck and the damage was done. All his hopes and dreams had been washed away.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Michaela Quinn was on her way back to Miriam's house. After she had left her fathers grave, she had gone to her favorite places. She walked through the parks she had so often taken walks with Miriam or her father, the library where she had spent most of the time during her studies. She went by the cafes, were William and her had sat quite often, or the opera, where she had gone with her father for the first time.

Michaela was happy to have such memories. Yes, it would be hard to leave everything behind but she would always have the chance to come back. She needed to anyway, because her best friend would still be here. And of course her mother and her sisters. She hoped that someday they would be able to face each other again with no fights or arguments. That someday her mother would accept her daughters decision in living her own life.

At last she had gone to the hospital to say good bye to her colleagues. Most of them didn't care, that Michaela Quinn was leaving. Some of them were actually quite happy to finally get rid of that woman doctor. But to her surprise it hadn't bothered Michaela as much as she thought it would have.

Walking around the corner now, her best friend's house came in to view. She couldn't believe that she had such a friend as Miriam in her life. She had been there for her whenever she had needed her. They had become best friends during their studies and had shared most of that time together. They had shared everything. First, the graduation, then they had worked side by side in the hospital, then her giving up practicing because of her husband. Her fathers death a few months back. She wouldn't have known what to do if Miriam hadn't be at her side through it all. And now finally, she was the one, who suggested to her to leave Boston behind to start a new life. A new life far away from Boston. She had shared Michaela's dreams, had listened to them and never for a moment had judged her. Yes, she was the best friend Michaela could imagine to have. Saying good bye to Miriam would probably be the hardest of it all.

As soon as she reached the steps, the door already flew open and to her surprise she didn't see Miriam but William right in front of her.

"William!" Michaela whispered.

"Shh darlin', take it easy. Just relax." William tried as best as he could to comfort his fiancée. He was sitting next to her bed, holding her hand in his. His other hand brushed her now sweated hair aside. His eyes filled with tears. He had lost hope for so long now that Michaela would ever wake up again. Hearing her voice just one more time. And now he could look in to her eyes again. Those beautiful eyes he fell in love with the first time he had seen her walking by him at the hospital.

Her voice brought him back from his memories.

"William what…?" Her voice was so weak he almost couldn't understand what she was trying to say. Raising from his chair, William moved so he could sit next to her. He carefully touched her cheek with the back of his hand and softy placed a kiss on her forehead. Shakily he whispered, "Don't try to speak yet Michaela. You are going to be fine now. I will take care of you."

Michaela wanted to say something but William silenced her with placing one finger on her lips. "Close your eyes and try to sleep. I will be here when you awake later." William had not even finished is sentence, he noticed Michaela had already fallen back to sleep. Raising carefully from the bed as not to waken her again, he sneaked out of her room.

As soon as he had closed the door behind him, he saw Michaela's parents, Joseph and Elizabeth Quinn, through the window, sitting outside on a bench near their daughters room. Joseph was holding his wife firmly in his embrace, dark circles under their eyes shown, that they hadn't slept for a long time. Opening the door, that would lead William outside of the hospital he took a deep breath, inhaling in the cold air.

Out of the corner of his eyes, Joseph saw William walking towards them. His pulse started to speed up when he saw the look on the man's face. Slowly releasing Elizabeth from his embrace, he stood up. "Joseph?" Elizabeth hadn't seen William yet but followed her husbands gaze. Just then she noticed William. Raising as well, she took Josephs hand in hers.

"Joseph, Elizabeth. I have wonderful news. Michaela had just been awake a moment ago."

"Oh my god," was all Elizabeth could say. She folded her hands over her face and let her tears run down freely. Joseph took his wife into his comforting arms. "She made it Elizabeth. Our Michaela made it. She is going to be alright." Joseph as well couldn't control his tears anymore. Days of fear, frustration, anger, hopelessness and crying were finally over and released in this moment.

Letting go of his wife, Joseph took one of her hands in his and pulled her towards Michaela's room. "Come on Elizabeth, let us go to Mike. I think she'd like to see us when she awakes. She…"

But William interrupted and stopped him before he reached the door. "Joseph that is not a good idea right now. She needs her sleep. You can see her later when she awakes from her nap."

Joseph was beyond words. He never had liked William as his daughters fiancée and couldn't believe that Michaela had fallen for this man but he had never been as disrespected towards him as he had been just now. Turning, he glared at the young man before him. Trying to control his temper in front of Elizabeth, who had been shocked as well, Joseph said as calmly as he could. "William, I appreciate what you have done for Michaela. But she is my little girl _and_ I am her doctor as well. And for the future William, I forbid you to ever disrespect me again in the way you just did. Come Elizabeth, our girl is waiting." With that, Joseph opened the door for Elizabeth but glanced back over his shoulder and met angry eyes staring right back at him. But before William had a chance to reply, the door had been closed already.

William had disliked Joseph from the beginning he started to call on Michaela. He was always at her side and supported her in every decision Michaela would make. Now that he knew Michaela was going to be alright, he could put his plans into action. He wanted to take Michaela as far away from Boston as he could and since Michaela had always dreamed about an own clinic, he knew that Michaela would agree once she was feeling better.

But now he would still have to deal with the constant bother of her parents, knowing that Joseph and Elizabeth would keep a close watch over their "little girl".

---------

Back in Michaela's room, Elizabeth was seated on one side of her bed and holding Michaela's hand tenderly in hers. Joseph stood by the window and was staring in to the settling night sky. His thoughts turned back to William. He remembered the day William had asked for their daughters hand. It had been the day of Michaela's 29th birthday, almost two years ago. William had prepared his speech well and Joseph had to admit he was impressed of how William had approached them. But he also had seen Mike. Yes she had been excited and happy that William had proposed to her but he had missed the fire, the passion in her eyes he had seen so many times, when she really was happy. But her voice jolted him out of his daydreams. Turning, he could see how Michaela tried to open her eyes. "Father?" Joseph rushed to his daughter, kneeled down and took her hand in his. "Yes Mike, I am here. So is your mother. We are both here." He raised her hand and pressed it against his cheek before he kissed her knuckles softly.

Slowly turning her head, she saw her mother sitting next to her, feeling her grip tighten on her other hand. "Mother."

"Oh Michaela, we were so worried." With a handkerchief, Elizabeth wiped away her tears.

Closing her eyes again, Michaela tried to remember what had happened. But as she did, her head started to hurt again and winced slightly. Joseph noticed it. "Mike, are you in pain? Do you want me to give you something?"

Michaela tried to relax and as soon as she opened her eyes again the pain passed. "No father. The pain is gone now. But I would like to sit up a little."

With the help of her parents, she had soon found a more comfortable position. Folding her hands on her lap, she looked back over to her father, "where is William?" Joseph tensed, hearing Williams name but tried not to let it show. "He will be here soon." Taking her hand again, he asked, "do you remember what happened Mike?"

Breathing out slowly, she tried to remember. "I think I do. William and I were just coming from the hospital when suddenly a carriage came our way. William wanted to push me aside but it was already to late." Michaela was shaking now as the memories were slowly coming back. Glancing over to her mother, she asked. "How long have I been out?"

"For almost two and a half weeks, Michaela. We thought you were gone forever. William was devastated. We thought we had lost you Michaela!"

Smiling slightly Michaela replied, "It takes more than a bump on my head to make me leave you."

Joseph chuckled at his daughters comment. "That's my old Mike. I am glad to hear you didn't lose your humor over the last weeks."

"Oh father, I…" but before she could finish her sentence, the door opened and William came in, surprised to see his fiancée awake, talking.

"Darlin', you're awake? I told your parents to let you rest but your father insisted on coming," glancing over to Joseph as he said the last words. Michaela didn't see the tension between her two favorite men. She was just happy that she had everyone around her she dearly loved.

Elizabeth made room for William to sit next to Michaela. Walking over to her husband, she squeezed his shoulder. "Joseph, let us go outside to give them some privacy. I think they have a lot to talk about." Elizabeth had recognized the glances between William and her daughter when she first had seen him coming in the room. Joseph on the other didn't want to leave his little girl so soon again but saw the look on Michaela's face, staring at William.

"Alright, we will come back later. But when you need anything, William or I can give you something for the pain. I don't want to see you getting hurt anymore, Mike."

Now Michaela had to chuckle, "Yes father, I promise."

Finally, they were alone and William didn't waste any time and pressed a kiss on Michaela's lips. She was taken off guard by William's forwardness but didn't have enough strength yet to push him away. "William please, just leave me some room to breathe."

William moved away but didn't let go of her hand. "I am sorry, darlin', but I just couldn't resist. I thought I had lost you."

"I am sorry William, I didn't mean to sound angry. I am just very tired." Michaela touched his cheek with her hand and moved so she could give him a gentle kiss on his other cheek. "I am sorry. I would like to talk more but I think I need some more sleep. Will you stay with me?"

William raised from the bed and moved the covers back over his fiancées body. "Of course. I will stay until you fall asleep." With that he pressed a kiss on her forehead, "sleep well, darlin'. I am glad you are back."

While Michaela nestled more comfortably beneath the covers, William pulled a chair close to her bed again, sat down and took her hand in his. Softly he ran his thumb over the back of her hand. Feeling the exhaustion from the last weeks in his bones, it didn't take long and William was fast asleep.

Meanwhile, Michaela curled on her side, looking towards the window. She could see several stars shining through the clouds and the moon raising at the horizon.

Yawning, Michaela closed her eyes. She was so tired that she just wanted to sleep for the next days but her body ached from lying so long in the bed that she just couldn't find a comfortable position to fall asleep.

Opening her eyes again she watched William sleeping. Michaela had been happy when William agreed to stay with her and even more, when he took her hand in his.

As Michaela was watching the stars again, a sudden feeling of loneliness overcame her. Yes, she had everything she needed but right now she became aware of that something was missing in her life. Something she couldn't explain. She never had doubts about William before but now somehow it felt different.

But she quickly pushed the thoughts aside due to the fact that she had just woken from being almost three weeks unconscious.

Then her eyes fell on to their hands and it suddenly dawned her. Why was it now that she didn't feel anything from his touch anymore? Had it been always that way? Was she supposed to feel anything? Didn't she usually felt at least something in her stomach? She was getting more and more confused. She simply didn't feel anything. And the fact that they weren't married yet after being engaged for almost two years made her wondering if William is feeling anything towards her at all. Does William have any kind of affection towards her or did he just asked her to marry him because it was a good match? At least that's what her mother would say. A good match is more important than love.

They had never talked about setting a date for their wedding. Every time she would mention the topic to him, William would stop her and explained that they would still have enough time to plan the wedding. They didn't need to rush. They would know when the time was right to take the final step. Right now, both had a career as doctors.

Yawning again, Michaela turned around to her other side and let go of Williams hand. She didn't want to think anymore. She was tired and just wanted to go to sleep. In the morning, everything would be looking better again. That she was sure of.

--------

Meanwhile near Colorado Springs, Sully desperately tried to find Cloud Dancing. His legs wanted to give in with each step he took, his body heavy filled from pain just wanted to collapse. Every now and then, he would give in to the desire to fall to the ground, screaming out her name from deep within, trying to convince himself he hadn't lost her but the pain he felt was tearing him apart. Besides pain that had broken his heart, confusion followed why he had lost the connection towards her. Nothing he ever had felt could compare to what Sully was going through now. Pain, confusion, loneliness, hate. Hate, because he hated himself now for letting this happening again. He had given his heart in gentle care to the woman he believed had been his soul mate. Just because of a vision, his heart had shut itself down to be left in the darkness.

He didn't notice the shadow approaching as Sully's body gave up and slumped to the ground.

He kneeled next to Sully and carefully turned his sweat drenched body around. At first he had not recognized the man, due to different clothes and longer hair but his face had shown his identity.

Trying to find a pulse he placed his hand at his neck. Yes, he was still alive but barely breathing. It seemed the air was pulling at Sully's life sucking it out, leaving an empty body behind.

"Oh Sully. What happened to you?"


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Loren Bray had been a heartbroken, lonely man. His last months he had lived his life in complete isolation in Manitou Springs. He had left everything behind when his beloved daughter Abigail had been taken away from him. His friends had tried to help him in every possible way but soon had to realize that nothing could be done to help this old man back on his feet. He was simply a prisoner of the past who didn't want to let go.

He had tried to escape the hurt, the pain, the loneliness of losing his only daughter. Everything had reminded him of her.

Abigail still had worked by her fathers side in the mercantile even though she had been married to his son-in-law, Byron Sully. Every morning he would come down the stairs from his bedroom, he still smelled her scent in every corner of the room, he had found pieces that had belonged to her. A shawl, her beautiful green hat she wore the last time on his birthday, her favorite perfume had been left on the shelf. He had scrubbed hours to finally get rid of the last blood stains on the floor next to the entrance. His hands had burned from scratches and were drained in his own daughters blood when he finally had managed to get most of it off. At this point, Loren Bray had nothing to live for anymore and thus made the decision to leave town, the only place he ever had called home and moved to Manitou Springs. But he soon had to realize that nothing he would ever do or how far away he would be from Colorado Springs, he couldn't forget. With no friends at all, he had never felt as lonely as he had for the last months.

With these thoughts in mind, Loren Bray wanted to make peace with himself and had left the place where he never had felt home for one single moment.

He never expected that the past would catch up with him that soon when he discovered the man lying in front of him had been Byron Sully.

Sully hadn't moved a single muscle once Loren had turned his body around. His breathing had slowed, his body sweating and shaking. Loren was still clueless of what had happened to him and couldn't find any injuries or any kind that would indicate his now almost deadly appearance. He didn't know how long Sully would have the willpower to survive and his first thoughts had been to bring him in to town but soon had to accept that his own body was not capable of moving Sully for only an inch. The only chance Sully would have to survive was to bring someone to him as fast and soon as possible.

Loren had left Sully with an uneasy feeling behind that something was completely out of balance in his sill son-in-laws life. He had brought a blanket to cover his still shaking body even though Sully's body felt like being on fire. Then he had walked as fast as his old legs would allow him back to his buckboard to hopefully find someone who would be able to help Sully.

He hadn't been on the road for more than ten minutes when the Indian reservation came in to view. Loren had hated them "savages" from the beginning and especially that friend of Sully's, that Indian. That had been one of the reasons why Loren had never really approved the marriage with Abigail and Sully. But he quickly pushed these thoughts far away because that Indian might be the only one who could help Sully coming back to life now.

---------

It was about half an hour later when Sully, clad only in his buckskin, was settled beneath some buffalo fur in Cloud Dancing's tipi.

Snow Bird tried as best as she could to cool down his heated skin with cold water and sponging his chest. Sully's body was burning from fever but had stopped shaking as soon as Loren and Cloud Dancing had brought him to the reservation.

As Snow Bird was tending to Sully, Cloud Dancing was next to him on the other side, praying to the spirits to help his friend anew and to seek answers the spirits wouldn't allow Sully to know.

Once he was finished, Snow Bird was the first one to speak.

"What is wrong with him? He seemed in good spirits when he came to see you the last time."

"The spirits have spoken. It is not an injury that tries to kill him. His will to live is gone."

"I do not understand. He had found new love. His heart was filled with happiness again."

Placing his hand over Sully's heart, Cloud Dancing spoke again.

"Something must have happened that Sully was pulled back to the dark place he had just escaped from. But this is worse than anything we have seen from Sully. His spirits are gone. He doesn't want to fight."

"What can we do?" asked Snow Bird, watching a lifeless Sully in front of her.

"We can do nothing. If he wants to live he will make it."

"What if he can't?"

With saddened eyes, Cloud Dancing looked back over to his wife. "Then there is no hope."

Cloud Dancing rose from his position and put his hand on Snow Bird's shoulder. He didn't need to say a word. Snow Bird understood from his gesture that he was lost at words why this had happened to Sully again.

Leaving his friend and his wife alone, he opened the flap and met Loren outside the tent, who was still waiting for an explanation of what was wrong with Sully. But from the look on the Indians face he knew that Sully was in great danger.

Cloud Dancing studied the old man in front of him. He knew from Sully's stories about Abigail's father and had been surprised when he came to the reservation for help.

"So, what's wrong with Sully?" Loren asked roughly.

"I do not know what is wrong with my brother yet. Right now I cannot do anything for him."

"That's why we brought him over here? Why can't you help him?"

"Sully is lost my friend. It is up to him if he wants to live."

"I am not your friend. You…what was that Indian name of yours? Something as Dancing in the Cloud or Dancing Clouds? Anyway, you just want to let Sully die now in this, this wilderness out here?"

Smiling, Cloud Dancing replied, "You have a good memory my friend. I am Cloud Dancing." Then his face grew seriously again. "Darkness surrounds Sully. He can not see. The only thing we can do now is wait if he wants to fight. When he does, I will be here for him."

"Nonsense. He needs medicine or something. I am taking him to town. There will be somebody who can help him." Loren felt more and more frustrated about that Indian. He didn't understand a word he was saying and actually he didn't want to. He just wanted to take Sully away from the Reservation.

"You can not do that Loren Bray. If we move him he will die. This is his home. He knows he is safe even though you don't want to understand. Sully stays. You can come to see him when the sun rises again."

"But…," but Cloud Dancing had already turned around and walked back inside his tipi. Loren Bray was dumbfounded. How could that Indian just decide what was best for Sully? How on earth will Sully come back to life with that savage around him? Growling, he left Sully and decided to finally go to town. He would find someone to get Sully away from here.

Just know it dawned him that he cared for Sully. Why did he care what happened to Sully in the first place? It never bothered him before. Why now? "I am getting old and soft." he thought to himself.

Back at his buckboard, Loren glanced back to the tipi Sully was lying in and hoped that Sully would survive until he would get him out of there.

----

Cloud Dancing was back at Sully's side while in the meantime Snow Bird had continued to get his temperature down.

"He is still burning, Cloud Dancing. I do not know if he is able to fight in this state."

"Go and get willow bark tee. Again, I will ask the spirits and will pray for my brother. Go!"

Snow Bird left and Cloud Dancing began to prepare himself to seek wisdom of how Sully could be helped. He took his Indian shirt off, sat down crossed legs next to Sully and placed his hand over his friends heart again.

"Great spirits, make my brother strong again to fight against the disease that keeps him trapped. Return his dreams from his heart. His eyes no longer see the beauty, they only see shadows and darkness. His ears only hear the silence that surround him. Give him your strengths to fight for his life. My heart as well is heavy from sadness because I do not understand my brothers journey. Help me to guide him in his darkest time. Hear my voice Great Spirits, creator of everything that surrounds me!"

Then Cloud Dancing began _his _journey, chanted and prayed long into the night, never leaving Sully's side.

----------------

"_Michaelaaaaa!"_

It was the middle of the night when suddenly Michaela was aware that she was awake, but she couldn't move or make a sound. And then she felt a weight begin to press down on her chest and felt she couldn't breathe. Her body was shaking from the intense voice in her head.

"Shh Mike. Everything is alright. Try to breathe slowly in and out." Joseph had stayed with his daughter after William had left a few hours ago and wanted to treasure the moments alone with her before everyone would fuss over his little girl. He had fallen asleep not long ago on the chair next to her while holding her hand. Then he had felt her hand getting cold and shaking.

"Is it better now, Mike?" He saw her calming down and loosened her grip at his hand. But she looked disorientated.

"Are you alright? Are you in pain?" he felt her forehead and noticed how hot she was. "I believe you have a fever, Mike."

Slowly Michaela could focus again. She moved her legs up against her chest and folded her arms around them. "I just heard a voice father. Someone called my name. He was screaming and…and I could feel it. My chest felt like…."

"It was just a dream. You should go back to sleep, darlin'. It's still in the middle of the night. So you still have a few hours before everyone wants to see you and fuss over you. Especially your mother." Joseph smiled, knowing how Elizabeth would chase every nurse and doctor around the hospital to get Michaela everything she needed.

Michaela returned his smile. "I think you are right, about mother I mean."

"We know her too well, don't we Mike?" chuckled Joseph. "Come, close your eyes. You need all the sleep you can get. I will stay here."

"Thank you father." Joseph gave her a last kiss on her forehead and settled back down in the big wooden chair and watched his daughter as she closed her eyes, hoping she would go back to sleep.

But sleep wouldn't come easily now. The voice, full of anger, frustration but most of all hurt echoed in her mind again. Strangely, Michaela had felt an uneasy feeling in her chest that left her gasping for air. She had felt the intense pain in his words, the desperation to find an answer as if his life would depend on it.

Michaela turned slowly from one side to the other as not to waken her father, and wrapped the covers more tightly around her.

But her head began to hurt again. A throbbing, pulsating feeling on both sides of her head made it difficult for Michaela to fall back to sleep. Wincing slightly she turned on to her back again. Looking at the ceiling, she tried to concentrate, rubbing her temples softly to ease the pain. Once it passed again, she looked back over to the window and could still see the moon shining, giving the only light in the dark room.

Suddenly, she rose as quietly as she could from the bed and moved to the window. She didn't know why she did this but it felt actually good to watch the stars again. She had done it often when she was a child, sometimes with her father and they would talk about the dreams they had or what they wished for.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Joseph's voice.

"Mike? What are you doing up?" Joseph whispered rubbing his eyes while he rose from the chair and walked over to Michaela, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. Immediately Michaela leaned in to him, feeling the raising and falling of his chest.

She let out a content sigh. "Just like how we used to do it when I was a small child. Your arms always protected me and still do."

Joseph squeezed her shoulder gently. "I'll always be there for you Mike. I don't know what I would have done if anything had happened to you more seriously. I am so glad that you are alright." Joseph placed a soft kiss on her temple. "What are you thinking about that keeps you awake?"

Placing her hand on the cold window, she suddenly felt an electricity shot through her fingers, her hand, over to her arm, her chest and right into her heart. Her pulse started to quicken, pumping an incredible warm feeling into every part of her body. She closed her eyes, trying to control the trembling and the weakness she suddenly felt in her knees.

Joseph noticed. "Mike, what's wrong? You are burning up again! And you are shaking! Let me take a look at you again."

Michaela still had her eyes closed, breathing in deeply and letting our another sigh. With one hand still at the window, she reached for her fathers with her other. She didn't know what happened but it frightened her. She had never felt anything like this before. And then she listened to the voice again, just a whisper as it would be million of miles away. _"Michaela, help me." _The feeling was overpowering and her knees got weak again but Joseph was there to catch her.

"Mike, let's get you back to bed. You are still in no shape of getting out of bed that soon. Come." Michaela didn't react and let her father take her back to bed.

Settled beneath the blankets again, Michaela looked up to her fathers face again who sat down on the bed next to her, still holding her hand in his.

"Father, what's wrong with me?"

"What do you mean, Mike? You know that it will still take time to get back on your feet. You were unconscious for almost three weeks. You should know, Dr. Quinn, that you are still weak and need a lot of bed rest for the next days."

"I know that I was unconscious but what I just felt had nothing to do with my condition. It was something else. A powerful feeling I never had before. Just like when I woke the other time."

Joseph hated it to see his daughter in a such miserable way. With smoothing words he tried to comfort her. "You are exhausted. You need time and sleep. It will…"

"No, it was something else. I know it," Michaela snapped back.

"Mike, please calm down. That is not good for you."

As if she didn't hear her fathers pleading words, she continued, "I heard the voice again. This time I barely could understand what he was saying. It was so full of pain. _"Michaela, help me."_ I know it sounds crazy but I am not lying father."

"Maybe it was something you dreamed about but you can't remember it?"

"Yes, maybe."

Joseph rose from the bed and made himself comfortable in his chair again while Michaela closed her eyes, trying to forget what she just had experienced. "_It was just a dream_," Michaela thought to herself. She didn't know anyone with such voice and she was actually too tired to even think about it any further. She just wanted to sleep.

Not knowing yet, Michaela had rekindled a fire deep within her heart that came back to life in that instant she had placed her hand on that window that night. Unknown to her, it would start a powerful connection again that would go beyond her imagination.

--------

William had gone back home after he was certain Michaela was sleeping soundly. In some ways he had felt bad of leaving her side but decided he needed a good night sleep after almost three weeks of being at the hospital with no proper rest.

He was sitting on the edge of his bed and only the lamp on his nightstand gave enough light to read the words again and again on the piece of paper he was holding in his hand. He had used several attempts until he was satisfied of having the right words written down at the end. He memorized every single word to not do any mistakes when he would see Michaela in the morning again. No, if he wanted his plans to work, he needed Michaela on his side in every possible way and away from her father.

Folding the paper half way, he put it down next to the other one, turned down the lamp and climbed under the covers.

Satisfied that everything was ready for tomorrow he had no difficulties in falling into a blissful sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

People in Colorado Springs had been surprised to see Loren Bray back in town but at the same time happy the old man had returned. But Loren had no intention to do small talks. He didn't even hear the people welcoming him back or that actually some were even waving towards his direction. He would have time for that later but now, now he needed to find someone to help him get Sully back to town.

As if Jake and Dorothy read his mind, they came out of the mercantile and stopped their conversation immediately and stood frozen on the porch when they saw who was back in town.

"Loren, is that you?" Jake was the first one to speak. "I didn't expect to see you ever back in this town."

Loren stopped the buckboard in front of the mercantile. Annoyed, he answered, "of course it's me," and climbed down. Just then he saw Dorothy staring at him, with her hands on either side of her face. Walking over to them, Dorothy still didn't make a move to welcome him home.

"Dorothy, you don't have anythin' to say to me?" Loren asked with a mischief smile. "Dorothy," he tried again and just then Dorothy came back to life and basically ran down the steps and rushed in to his arms. "Oh Loren, I am so glad to see you. We all missed you so much."

"Yeah well, I am back now so enough of that hocus-pocus," and patted Dorothy with one hand on her back. She released him but didn't move far, still stunned that her longtime friend was really back.

In the meantime, Jake had come down the steps as well and stood with crossed arms in front of his chest next to Dorothy. "So, old man, what brings you back here? Couldn't live without us, hu?"

"I don't have time for that Jake. We need to do something. I need some men to help me bring Sully back to town."

"What did you just say? Sully? What do you care?" asked Jake and Dorothy continued, "You saw Sully? Where? What's wrong with him?" not letting Loren any room to breathe.

"I found him somewhere in the woods, he collapsed right in front of me. I wanted to get help from town to bring him here but somehow ended up at the reservation. That Indian friend of Sully's helped me to bring him over there and…"

"You mean you were with the Indians? Those savages? Are you sick Loren? You could have been killed out there," Jake interrupted him in disbelieve of what he had just heard.

"What are you talking about, Loren? Is Sully hurt?"

"I don't know what's wrong with him Dorothy. Cloud Dancing is doing his Indian stuff but said he can't help him now. He lost his will or, or something to live."

"Who lost his will to live?"

Nobody had noticed Charlotte coming their way, with Brian at her heals and just recognized them now when they joined the group.

Brian didn't believe his eyes. First Sully had come back and now Mr. Bray.

"Mr. Bray, you are back!" exclaimed Brian excitedly and circled his small arms around his waist.

Loren was caught of guard but instantly ruffled the young boys hair. "Hey Brian. It's good to see you again. You're taller then I remembered," Loren chuckled.

"Does it mean we can go fishing again?" Brian asked with big eyes looking up at his friend.

"Brian, leave Mr. Bray room to breathe. He just came back," Charlotte interrupted her youngest son and pulled him back towards her. "Sorry Loren. Welcome back."

"Ahh, it's alright. I missed him too," Loren replied with a small smile towards Brian who had now a big grin on his face.

"So Loren, who were you talking about just a minute ago?" Charlotte asked Loren.

"Sully. He is hurt badly and…"

"Sully? Oh my god. What happened Loren? Where is he?" Charlotte asked in disbelieve, having seen Sully just a few days ago, quite alive.

"Ma?"

"Shh Brian. Let Mr. Bray speak please."

Again, Loren explained what had happened to Sully and told them about the conversation he had with Cloud Dancing, trying to come back to town as fast as possible to find someone who would ride back with him to "safe" Sully.

"Nobody will go with you Loren. Not to the reservation," said Jake. "I definitely will not go near there. They' gonna shoot an arrow right through my head. No way Loren. I am sorry but I guess you won't find any help from no one. And since when do you care for Sully. You hate him anyway."

"It doesn't matter now Jake. If we leave him there he is gonna be dead soon. I know it."

Brian had listened to the adults speaking, turning his head from side to the other, trying to follow every word they were saying. Slowly his tears were streaming down his cheeks and moved closer to his ma, circling his arms around her waist.

"Ma, we need to do something. Sully promised me he would come back. We need to help him Ma, please?" said Brian between his tears, wiping them away with his sleeve.

"I think we just leave him there. He is one of them anyway," Jake said.

"Jake he is still your friend. He did do nothing to you and…," but Charlotte had enough now and didn't let Dorothy finish. "I'll go and see what I can do. Cloud Dancing still knows me."

"Charlotte, …"

"No Jake. It's enough now," then Charlotte turned to Loren, " I'll go tomorrow morning. I know you just came back but could you keep an eye on Brian in the morning? I don't want to take him with me. I don't know how bad Sully is."

"Sure Charlotte."

"But Ma, I wanna come. I want to see Sully."

"No Brian. You have school tomorrow. I will come back as soon as I can."

"But", "no buts young man." With that, Charlotte took Brian softly by his arm and pulled him with her to go back home.

Loren looked at his friends and couldn't believe that nobody had helped him, but then it might be for the best. Sully had lived with the Indians for so long, they would know how to help him.

"Welcome back, Loren. I think it's time now to go over to Hank and get a drink. Celebrating your return!" Jake already pushed Loren towards the Saloon before he had a chance to escape. And Dorothy? Dorothy felt sorry for Sully but couldn't do anything at this moment. They would know more tomorrow when Charlotte would return.

--------

Sully had struggled all through the night. His condition had become worse and his breathing had slowed to a minimum. Cloud Dancing was still at his side, exhausted from praying to the spirits but determined not to let go.

But the darkness won't let go of Sully and he slowly began to give in. All of the strength, love and courage that once held his heart couldn't safe him anymore. He was giving up… _"Michaela, help me…." _were is last thoughts but it was too late. He was drifting away…

Cloud Dancing watched with horror when Sully's chest was raising for the last time, breathing in the air and then letting it go again, breathing out the rest of life that had kept him alive until now. His blood stopped running, his soul left him, leaving a cold, lifeless body behind. Complete darkness surrounded him, cold air hit his skin. Silence. He felt nothing anymore. With this last breath, he was gone.

A single tear ran down Cloud Dancing's cheek. He had failed to safe his brother from being pulled into the other world. Lying his hand over Sully's chest, he closed his eyes, trying a last time to reach for his soul to bring him back. "Remember your dreams, my brother," he whispered.

"_Remember your dreams."_

"_Why should I remember? She is gone!" _

"_Remember your dreams. Never give up. No matter what happens, never forget that if darkness blinds you, I'll shine and be there to guide you."_

"_That's what I said to Michaela," Sully whispered._

"_But it goes both ways Sully. She had giving you your life back you never thought you would have again. You made a promise to her. You want to forget everything and return in to the darkness again and leave her?_

"_I can't go through that again."_

"_Remember that through her, you found your way out the first time. Can you do it a second time?" _

"_I don't know."_

"_What are you afraid of Sully?"_

"_That everything will be taken away from me once again. I ain't that strong enough anymore."_

"_You're stronger then you think, my brother_.

_Live is full of choices. All of us experience them and we have to decide each day if we made the right ones. Sometimes we can't change them but only you can change the path you have taken now. She is out there, but you are here_. _Do you think you have made the right choice, Sully? What keeps you from living the choice you made before?"_

"_What choice."_

"_The choice to love again, Sully."_

"_I never had one. She just came. I couldn't do anything to stop it and now she is gone again. I have nothing to live for anymore."_

"_That, my brother, is what you have to ask yourself. You opened you heart once, don't let the darkness blind you again. See and you will find the right path in front of you."_

"_Wait"_

"_Only you Sully and no one else can make the decision for you. It is not too late, yet."_

_With that Cloud Dancing was gone, leaving Sully in complete darkness again before he watched the moon rises in the distance, giving the only light to brighten her figure. She was standing all alone, watching the same sky, the same moon as him through her window. _

_Sully, looking at her, was holding his breath, instantly feeling the love flowing back in his heart. The same heart that was cold and lifeless before, fills with joy and glorious happiness again. Her eyes shining like stars, glistening in the moonlight with warmth and full of beauty, reminded him that she was the only one he ever had felt completely alive with for the first time in his life. A love that went beyond everything he had ever known. _

_She was reaching for the window, pressing her hand softly on the cold glass. At that instant, he felt what she felt, the electricity shooting right through every corner of his body. _

_He felt her soft, sweet skin touched his bare chest, lifting the weight that had pressed down on his body. Taking a chance, he let go of his fears and letting her in completely, feeling alive all over again with one single touch. With that one touch, Sully felt his body warming again, letting the warmth of his blood run back through his veins, giving him his life back. _

_Suddenly he was pulled out of the darkness, taking slowly breaths, in and out, in and out…..until he felt his body again._

Cloud Dancing recognized the slow movement of Sully's chest beneath his hand that had still been lying on his chest. Sighing, Cloud Dancing thanked the spirits. The great spirits had heard his prayer again and gave Sully another chance to live. He didn't exactly know what happened, only that Sully's time hadn't come yet. But when he heard Sully's voice, he knew.

"Mi…cha…ela. Micha…ela..," where the first words coming out of Sully's mouth and Cloud Dancing knew then, that these two were born to be together. She had saved him a second time and that was just not a coincident. They were meant to be together.

Slowly, Sully opened his eyes. He blinked a few times to get used to darkness again, only this time, it was the dark of the night and not the place where he had been not even a minute ago.

"Sully? Can you hear me?" asked Cloud Dancing.

Sully tried to focus again and this time could see his brother sitting next to him and whispered, "Cloud Dancing."

"I am here Sully."

"Water. I need water."

Cloud Dancing handed him a cup of the willow-bark tee Snow Bird had brought earlier. It was cold now but it would still have some effect. He lifted Sully's head up so he would have easier access and would be able to drink a little bit.

"Take it easy, my brother."

Sully took a few sips and laid back down.

"I still can feel her, Cloud Dancing." Sully moved his arm so he could lay his hand over his chest. "Right here, I felt her warming my skin with her hand. She is still here, Cloud Dancing. She brought me back to life. I was…" but he couldn't go on. He just couldn't say it out loud. Guilty, he led out a sigh, "I let her down. I made her a promise to always be there for her and I just gave up."

Cloud Dancing watched his brother, still suffering from what he had just experienced, as he tried to sit up.

Reaching for the cup again with willow-bark tee, Cloud Dancing handed it to Sully.

"Drink this. You need your strength back. There is a lot waiting for you out there."

Taking another sip, he put the cup back down, looking back over to Cloud Dancing.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you have given another chance Sully. Now you should know that you were destined to be with her. You have felt it. She saved your life. Now it is time, to make her see _you _again. There was a reason why you have lost the connection. There is something between you and her. It is up to you so she can follow her heart. Her journey has just began. Her journey needs to become yours as well. She can't go through this alone. You have to make her a part of you." Pausing, he added, "do not do any mistakes again. This is your last chance."

"What if I ain't strong enough?"

"Strength is a power you have within yourself and it will give you the power to help the one you love, it will give you the power to carry on. If you would not be strong enough you wouldn't be talking to me right now. You would be in the other world. You would be dead, my friend!" It was the first time one of them really had spoken it out loud and made them both shudder, realizing how close it had been.

"Thank you Cloud Dancing for believing in me. I know you saved my life as much as Michaela did." He held out his hand to his brother. "Thank you for bringing me back and making me see again what I had lost. Thank you!" Cloud Dancing shook Sully's hand. They both looked each other in the eyes and both knew, no more words needed to be spoken. They understood.

--------

The dream forgotten, Michaela had slept the rest of the night peacefully, still with her father at her side. Both were still sleeping, when the door flew open and Elizabeth and William were storming in the room.

"Joseph, wake up. It is already late." Elizabeth basically yelled through the room, whilst she moved to the window to open it, letting the morning air breathing new life into the cold room.

Joseph, almost scared to death, practically jumped from the chair, almost falling over it.

"Elizabeth, would you please stop scaring me? I am sure you don't want to give me a heart attack, so please stop making my heart jump as it would be stopping any minute," he said, trying it with a stern voice but failed miserably.

"Joseph, don't ever say that. We went through enough now these last weeks. We don't need anything else." Joseph went over to his wife and kissed her temple. "Then stop doing that," he said with a little smile on his face.

Michaela, who had been awake from her mothers outburst as well, had watched together with William the encounter between Joseph and Elizabeth Quinn. But both had different thoughts about what they had just seen.

William was annoyed by the loving encounter between two adults. Such loving encounter should never be allowed in public and was just reserved for private moments in private rooms and not for everyone to see. It was simply disgusting. Giving a kiss to his fiancée had been different. He thought he had lost her, which had giving him the right to act under these circumstances but knew it would be last, especially in public.

Michaela on the other hand, loved to see her parents like this. It made her special in a way she can't describe. She still saw the love in their eyes every time they would look at each other. Even though, they still had some fights once in a while, but especially then, she saw her father looking at her mother and knew each time, he would make it right again. After all those years, they were still a happy couple and Michaela hoped she had found the right man that would make her as happy as her mother was.

Clearing his throat, William disturbed the happy moment of the Quinn family. It was time to be left alone with Michaela and he didn't want to waste anymore time.

"Excuse me Joseph, Elizabeth, but I would like to speak to your daughter. Alone if it is possible." He had tried to sound as natural as possible but a nervousness could still be heard in his voice.

"What's going on, William?" Joseph asked who had detected the nervousness instantly.

"Joseph, let him be. He will have his reasons." Elizabeth already hoped what would happen next but didn't dare to speak it out loud.

"I am sorry Joseph, but I'd like to speak to Michaela first," William said and straighten himself in front of a skeptical Joseph.

"Would you please stop talking as I would not be in this room?" Michaela said, annoyed that no one would ask her what she wanted. "I actually would like to speak to William as well. So, mother, father would you give us some privacy, please?"

"Of course we will. Joseph, you spent the whole night with your daughter, let her be now. I didn't have breakfast this morning so would you please join me?" It was just an excuse but it worked every time. Joseph could never refuse his wife's wishes.

"Take it easy, Mike. I will come back later to check on you again." With that, William closed the door behind them, moved over to Michaela and sat next to her on the bed. Taking her hand in both of his, he took a deep breath and began to speak what he had prepared the previous night.

"Michaela, I want you to let me finish first what I have to tell you now. After I am done you can say what ever you want to, alright?"

For a second Michaela thought to say something but could already see the pleading in his eyes not to reject his wish. Giving in, she nodded her head. "Alright, I will let you finish."

He smiled a little because he knew it was not easy for her not to interrupt him every second. "Thank you." Clearing his throat again, he reached in to his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper.

Taking another deep breath, William began his speech. "Two weeks ago, I found an ad in the newspaper that a small town out west was looking for a new doctor," he paused to gain her reaction, if she would interrupt him, but he only could see her eyes widen but kept silent. So he continued, "I replied and this is what they sent back." Handing her the paper, he waited for her to fully understand what was written in the telegram.

Michaela slowly read the paper again and again, trying to let it sink it. Whispering, she only knew one reply, "you are leaving me?"

Before she would misinterpret his intentions and what the telegram relly meant, he quickly spoke again. "NO, no I won't leave you. I want you to come with me, darlin'. I want you to work with me side by side in Colorado Springs. Our own clinic. That's what you and I always wanted, don't you remember? We have talked about it so many times." Giving her a moment to realize what he was saying, he reached into his pocket again, knowing what the next question would be.

"But William, we could never do that. We are not married. My parents would never allow me to go with you unless we were married. How can we do that?" Gasping for air, Michaela stopped herself. Could that mean…?

William smiled. Michaela was a smart woman but sometimes she wouldn't see what was right in front of her.

"I know," he simply answered and laid the object he was holding in her hands.

"I know we have been engaged for two years now and you have asked me a lot of times why I wouldn't ask you to finally marry me and I told you that the right time will come. For me, the right time is now. I still care a lot about you and I want you in my life. We can be partners in every way. I would always care for you." Lifting the lid of the small box, he looked her directly in the eyes.

"Finally I want to give you the right ring you deserve to put on your finger, to make it official. Michaela Quinn, will you marry me? This week?"

* * *

Thanks for reading!


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Michaela was sitting on a bench outside the hospital. After William had left her alone, she needed some fresh air to breathe. She had put on her robe and sneaked out the hospital to find a quite place to think. She had found this bench not too far away from the entrance but far enough from any noise that would disturb her.

Letting her eyes roam over the valley that could be seen from the hospital she thought back to the earlier events.

She had always dreamed about this moment as long as she can remember. Wanting to feel the magic of finally being asked to be someone's wife, feeling the pounding of her heart, beating faster and faster with every second. Yes, William had asked for her hand before, but it was out of a situation with the family that he didn't have another choice to ask her. Nothing magical, nothing romantic. It had been simply an obligation and nothing else. At that time, Michaela had still been excited. She had wasted no time in saying yes. She had liked William from the beginning when they had first met and had secretly dreamed about that someday they would be husband and wife. But that had been two years ago.

Today had been different. Once William had asked her to marry him again, this week, Michaela had just stared at William, not saying a single word. Her heartbeat had quicken and fear was clearly written on her face. She hadn't expect that at all, that in this very moment she wouldn't know how to answer him. She always thought that if he would finally want to take the next step, she would not hesitate to say yes. But she had doubts. This would be the man she would spent the rest of her life with and she just didn't know anymore if that had been the right decision. And to her realization, it had hurt, right in her chest. Love shouldn't be a decision. It should come naturally and there should be not any single moment with doubts. It should feel right.

Michaela hadn't realized how cold it was outside already and tightened her rope closer around her body. The wind picked up and swirled the fallen leaves around her. She closed her eyes, enjoying the fresh breathe on her face, letting go of all her thoughts, feeling the freedom of being outside and not to be trapped in the small hospital room.

Suddenly, she felt a hand on her shoulder and felt her muscles jerk under the touch but at the same moment she began to feel incredibly warm inside. The feeling intensified with each second the longer the connection lasted. Somehow she was afraid of turning around. Afraid of whom she would find standing behind her but then she heard him, whispering close to her ear, " Don't be afraid. I will never hurt you. Trust me." She didn't know why but she instantly answered to his voice. "I do," she whispered back into the wind.

"Open your eyes, Michaela." At this very moment, Michaela knew the voice. It was the same voice from her dream, the same voice she had heard standing by the window. Her pulse was raising now, had it been all real? Opening her eyes, she first saw the clear blue eyes staring right back at her, then his warm smile forming on his lips welcoming her.

"Don't be afraid of the unknown. I know you are confused but as I promised you before, I will always be there for you." Michaela couldn't believe it and just stared back at him. She didn't know this man sitting next to her but was not afraid of him either. Somehow deep down she knew he was telling the truth. She was getting more and more lost in his blue eyes, that loving and warm smile. She couldn't move, her throat dry. Why was she feeling all that deep within her and it got even worse when she felt his warm hand on her cheek, caressing it oh ever so softly. She was getting warmer and warmer with each second and wanted the moment to last forever. She knew that this was crazy but somehow she felt she knew him all along.

Finally taking control of her emotions, she opened her eyes again, looking back at him. "I don't understand but I know, I don't want you to let go, please," she whispered.

"I won't. Ever. Remember you dreams, Michaela and you'll understand. Sometimes dreams are forgotten because we are afraid of them but they are the definition of who we are. They show us answers to questions we would never ask. I know you are confused now but trust me and it will all come back to you. Trust again what you feel in your heart."

"How do you know so much about me?"

He smiled. "Because I am always with you." He moved his hand from her cheek, took her hand and moved it softly on her chest. "Right here, since the first time you came to me. Don't have any doubts about what's in here. Your heart never lies."

When she felt his hand on top of hers and caressing it gently with his thumb, carefully touching her chest, she remembered. He had done it before.

Closing her eyes again, _she saw him kneeling next to her bed, taking her hand in his and placed it over her heart. Squeezing her hand lightly, he promised, "I am here. I am always in your heart, Michaela."_

"_How am I supposed to find you?"_

_Sully just smiled and moved closer. Closer and closer until finally his lips touched hers in a tender, soft kiss. New life was breathing in to Michaela as their tongues touched for the first time. Feeling the intense love from just one kiss, set her heart and body on fire. _

_His hand still over her heart, he promised, "Listen to what you feel in here. Follow your heart, and you'll find me."_

With her eyes still closed, she began to smile and whispered, "we kissed, you were next to my bed, promising me, you will always be in my heart, just the same as you have done now."

Watching her with that warm smile on her face he loved, Sully had a hard time controlling his emotions. He so wished that this was all over and that they would be both sitting here for real. His feelings were so overpowering as never before and he wanted nothing more than to stay but he knew it was time. The first step towards their journey together had been taken. She remembered.

Opening her eyes, her heart stopped immediately. He was gone. She had so many questions that needed to be answered but is was to late. She was left alone again.

Sighing, Michaela watched the wind blowing through the trees and carrying the leaves high up in the sky. How she wished she could understand what was happening. How this was possible that something like this exists, that dreams could be so powerful and letting anything else vanish around her. That in this time, she had felt happier then she ever had before and had forgotten all the worries that were swirling around in her head. Why was everything so complicated now? Before the accident, everything had been so right in her small world. But now, now she was more confused than ever.

Lost in thoughts, Michaela didn't hear the footsteps behind her coming closer and closer until she heard her father clearing his throat. She jumped a little but relaxed as soon as he placed his hand on her shoulder.

With a calm voice, Joseph spoke first. "I knew I would find you out here. That's what you always do when you're troubled. Going outside to clear your head." Sighing, Joseph sat down next to his daughter. Placing his arm around her shoulder, she immediately snuggled closer to him. Even though she didn't speak, Joseph knew what was going through his daughters mind.

"If you want to talk, I am here Mike." Joseph knew it wouldn't do any good if he pressured her to talk but he also knew that she needed to let things out, her frustration, her anger, talking things through, hearing his opinion.

"I know, but…" sighing, Michaela closed her eyes. Why was it so difficult to talk about it. She could tell her father anything, since she was a child, he always had listened to her.

"Don't shut me out, Mike. If you'd tell me what's weighing on your mind, I might be able to help." Pausing, he added, "it's William, isn't it?"

Moving out of his embrace, she looked at her father, puzzled she asked, "how do you know?"

"William told us what happened. You two are getting married at the end of this week. But he also mentioned to us that it took a lot of convincing from his side that you even would be willing to say yes." Placing his hand under her chin, so she would look at him, he continued, "I thought you would be happy about it. That's what you always wanted, being Williams wife. What happened, Mike? Tell me."

Sighing, Michaela looked away again. "You wouldn't understand," she whispered.

"Try me."

"I don't even know where to start. I don't even understand it myself."

"Why don't you start with what happened with William today. I know there is more to it than William told us. I could see it in his eyes and since you are sitting out here, tells me I am right."

Why was her father always right? Sometimes she wished he didn't know her as much as he did.

"He told me about the job offer in Colorado Springs. At first I thought he would leave me and then it all happened so sudden. I asked him, 'why now?' and he said it was the right timing for him. For _him, _father. He always thinks about himself. We never really talk anything through. He was the one and still is, who makes the decisions. He really wants the job but he has to marry me first, so he won't lose me. He didn't even asked me, if I wanted to go to Colorado." Michaela was angry at herself that she was losing control over her emotions again but it actually felt good to talk about it.

Joseph on the other hand was stunned and was getting more and more angry about William and himself, that he had never seen it coming. He always thought Michaela had been happy with William and to see now that he had been wrong, hurt him even more.

"I never knew Mike. I never knew how you felt about William. I thought you were happy with him." Pausing, he asked, "why did you say yes?"

"I don't know, father. He just has a way of seeing things in a different light, he is very good at convincing and in getting what he wants. I thought I was happy with him, until…," but she couldn't go on. How could she possibly explain what had happened after William?

"Until?"

Wiping away her tears with the back of her hand, she hoped her father would understand.

"When I came out here, I felt the wind on my cheeks and a moment later someone laid a hand on my shoulder, the same way you did." Letting out the breath she didn't know she was holding, she added, "It was the same man I had in my dreams. The same voice I heard the other night when I woke and stood with you by the window. I know how it must sound, but it's the truth. I saw him. Right here, sitting next to me. I don't know how it happened or if it was another dream, but it felt so real."

"Mike, what are you saying? Did he hurt you?" Joseph's heart was raising now. He didn't understand.

"No, he didn't and I believed him when he said he never would. Then he touched me and I had this incredibly feeling inside of me. He said he would be always with me. Right here," and Michaela touched the same spot again where he had touched her. "Since the first time I came to him. And then I was remembering a dream. I have seen him before, father but I don't understand what that all means." Frustrated again, Michaela rose from the bench and walked a few feet away from her father.

Joseph didn't know what to say. He just sat there and didn't move a muscle. He knew, his daughter would never lie to him but it just didn't make any sense to him at all. Deciding to trust his instinct, he rose as well and took his daughter in to his strong arms. "It must be very confusing for you but I am here to listen. I want you to tell me everything, Mike. Everything you remember and everything that happened with that man." Felling the cold slowly overtaking, he suggested with the smile she loved, "but I rather would go inside. It's cold out here. What do you think? You must be freezing as well, darlin'."

"Thank you father."

"Come on, let's go before your mother is coming back. She is already preparing for your wedding!" Joseph chuckled, trying to lift her spirits. Michaela smiled, "I bet she does."

--------

Sully had felt strong enough to leave the reservation that morning and decided it was time to go back to the place were he had been so close to her as never before.

He watched the sun raising over the horizon, breathing new life in to the world that surrounded him. The sunshine, soft and gentle, was warming his face, caressing his body, giving him strength anew to take the journey as it comes, breathing in the air, feeling born again with the raising sun. Closing his eyes, he welcomed the sunshine and letting it in, touching is heart, clearing his mind, becoming one.

Sully smiled, she had been so beautiful. When she had smiled that crooked smile he loved so much, while remembering the dream, he had almost lost control and had wanted nothing more than to kiss her right there with all what he had. But he knew she needed time. She needed to trust him completely before that would happen. But most of all, she needed to believe. Sighing, Sully opened his eyes again. This had just been the first step. Their journey had just began.

But Sully would have never expected that the journey was a challenge he barely was prepared for.

Suddenly, hearing a rattling sound of a wagon approaching in the distance, Sully, still sitting, turned his head. Nobody had known where he had gone to when he left the reservation this morning. Slowly the buckboard came into view and Sully could make out the driver. Smiling, Sully rose from his position and walked slowly over where Charlotte had stopped.

"Charlotte? What are you doing here? How did you find me?"

Taking her hand, he helped her down. As soon as Charlottes feet touched the ground, she embraced him, giving him a loving hug.

"Oh Sully, you're alright." Releasing him, Charlotte looked at Sully from head to toe. There were no signs from any injuries. There was simply nothing. Puzzled, she looked back up at Sully. "Loren came into town yesterday and said you were hurt really bad. But I can see you are quite alive. And to answer you second question, Cloud Dancing knows you very well. He thought I might find you up here."

Sighing, Sully took a few steps away from her, looking back over the valley in the far distance, letting his eyes roam over natures beauty. He wasn't sure how much he should reveal to Charlotte about what had happened during the night.

She had always been a dear friend to him. Charlotte had tried everything to safe his wife and unborn child. But there had been simply nothing she could have done to make the impossible possible. At first he had blamed her for letting them die but with time he had learned that it had been nobodies fault. It had been her time, as he recalled Abigail telling him in his vision.

Sully hadn't notice that Charlotte stood next to him until he felt her soft touch on his back.

"I know you Sully. Something is troubling you. What happened yesterday? Loren was scared to death and you know him, he usually never cares. Especially when it comes to you."

"It's hard to explain Charlotte." Sully didn't even know where he would begin. How could someone, besides his brother, possibly understand that he had lost his heart to a woman who he would see eventually face to face one day?

A sudden noise from behind, made them both turning their heads at once.

Poking his head out beneath the blanket, that had covered him completely, Brian looked directly in to two puzzled faces. He grinned from ear to ear seeing his best friend standing next to his mother but immediately dropped his head when he had seen the look on her face. He knew he was in trouble, having skipped school and sneaked in the back of the wagon.

Charlotte put both of her hands on the sides of her hips and with a stern look she said, "young man, I think you have some explanation to do." Walking over to the buckboard, Charlotte took the cover off of her youngest son. "I am waiting."

Sully, with a slight grin on his face, walked over to them, helping Brian to get rid of the blanket, that tangled still around him.

"So?" Charlotte was still waiting for an answer but as she saw her son, with ruffled hair and his big eyes, she was melting instantly. She just couldn't be angry with him for wanting to see Sully. Trying to put on a stern face again, she wanted him at least to suffer a little bit.

"Maaa, please don't be mad at me. I just wanted to see Sully. I promise it won't happen again," Brian pleaded, as he sat on his knees, supporting himself with his hands gripping the side of the wagon.

"Brian, you skipped school. You know what's going to happen. And Loren, I told him to pick you up after school."

Grinning, Brian answered, "but Ma, Mr. Bray knows. He helped me climb in to the back." Sighing, he added, "but I know, no more candy for a week, cause I skipped school."

"That's right, young man and I guess I need to have a word with Loren later," Charlotte chuckled.

Turning his small head towards Sully, Brian finally wanted to know the truth. "So, you alright Sully? You're not hurt?"

Sully, who had watched the scene with amusement, lifted Brian out of the wagon. Smiling, he said, "Yes Brian, everything is fine. But your Ma is right, you shouldn't have skipped school. I would've come to town in the next days."

"I just wanted to make sure," Brian grinned.

"Thanks, Brian," and Sully couldn't help but chuckle at his young friend's comment. Still in Sully's arms, Brian asked his mother, "so, what're we doing?"

"_We_ were talking. Nothing intended for small ears, young man. I think it is time we go back so you can explain to the Reverend why you weren't at school today. How does that sound, huh?" Charlotte said, as she pinched his cheek slightly. "Oh Ma, since we're already here, can't we stay with Sully? Please?" he asked with his a big grin, showing several teeth missing.

"Brian, we don't want to bother Sully, he…"

"It's alright Charlotte, I would be happy to have some company." Sully interrupted. "I can show you the land I bought and we even might have another chance to talk. I just need to go back to the reservation first, then we can go."

"Are you sure, Sully?" Charlotte asked.

"Yep. I am sure. I promised Brian to spend more time with him and that would be my chance."

"Alright," answered Charlotte, then looking back at her son, "but only this once Brian, you hear?"

"Yeah, thanks Ma, Sully. It will be so much fun," Brian exclaimed excitedly. Turning his gaze back to Sully, he asked, "Sully? Do you need to go back cause of that woman?"

"Brian," Charlotte said embarrassed.

Sully was puzzled. "What woman Brian?"

"Cloud Dancing said, a woman wants to talk to you. He said we should tell you."

In a heartbeat the world stood still. Sully's heart was pounding faster and faster with every second, so strong it hurt. His hands were shaking, sweating from nervousness. He was afraid his legs would give in any moment, feeling weak in his knees. Nothing else existed anymore. Only Michaela.

Sully could see her loving smile, her inviting, beautiful lips, smelling her sweet scent, hearing her gentle voice calling out his name. His world was spinning around and around. Everything came at once. Hope, to finally be able to take her in his loving embrace. Doubts, it wouldn't be her. Happiness, to have finally found his soul mate. Nervousness, how it would feel to see her right in front of him and if she would feel the same. Excitement, to finally learn everything about her there was to learn.

Holding his breath, he asked, wanting to know for sure, "did you see her Brian? How did she look like? What did Cloud Dancing say?"

"He only said we should tell you and…"

"Did you see her Brian?" Sully asked, impatiently.

"Yeah, I saw her. She had long hair, same color as mine I think. Why, do you know her?"

"I hope Brian, I hope," Sully whispered.

Sully's pulse was raising now. Could it be? Could the woman be Michaela?

* * *

_Thanks for reading!! Chapter 14 will be up soon...._


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

Michaela felt relieved. First she had told her father everything what she had remembered from her dreams and then what had happened outside of the hospital. To her surprise, he had shown interest in everything what she had said and never in one single moment had tried to convince her that it was just her imagination playing tricks on her. But then, it was her father. Who would never say something he wouldn't believe. Especially when it came to her. His favorite daughter. They had a special bond no one could explain and they always knew when something was wrong with the other. They had no secrets and had shared almost every moment together since she can remember. She just would be lost without him.

And then he had told her, she was well enough now to return home the next morning. Finally, she had thought. She was tired of seeing just empty, white walls around her, nurses running in and out, asking if she would need anything, if everything was to her likening. But most of all, she was looking forward to sleeping in her own bed, having her favorite breakfast again, her dresses, just her own room again.

Yes, at this moment, she felt happy. Having finally talked to her father and going home tomorrow.

Her thoughts were interrupted with a light knock on the door. It was already late in the evening and her parents had gone home as William had done as well. Curious, she called out, "Come in."

To her surprise, she saw her mothers head poking in. "Michaela, I see you are still awake. I hope I am not disturbing you."

"Mother? I thought you already went home with father. Is everything alright?" Michaela asked.

Elizabeth closed the door behind her and walked over to her daughter. "Yes, yes, everything is fine," she stuttered. She was standing at the end of the bed and was holding onto the bed frame with both hands.

"Mother?" Michaela was sitting straighter in bed now, curious why her mother had come back and why she seemed real nervous.

Sighing, Elizabeth took a deep breath, "my youngest daughter is getting married. Your father told me you two already talked about it but he seemed unhappy. I need to know what is going on, Michaela. I know you always consult your father but I am your mother and I deserve to know the truth." Elizabeth hadn't intent to sound so demanding but she was afraid that there was something in her daughters mind that she didn't know about.

Swallowing, Michaela asked, "what exactly did father tell you, mother?"

Moving alongside the bed, she sat down at the edge, close to her daughter. "He told me that you are confused about your feelings towards William. Why, Michaela? He is a good man for you and very respected as well. You liked him so much since the first time you met him. For a time, he was the only one you talked about."

Dropping her head, Michaela fought against her bubbling emotions again. She just didn't want to cry in front of her mother. She used to be such a strong, confident and determined woman and doctor. But now it seemed they had been replaced with self-doubts, weakness and uneasiness. She simply seemed effectively lost.

Seeing her daughter struggle, Elizabeth let down her guard, put her disappointment aside and took Michaela into a loving embrace. "Oh Michaela, I wish you would tell me what's on your mind." As if she had read her mind, she added, "you were such a strong and happy person. You were always so determined to get what you wanted. What happened Michaela?"

Leaning back, Michaela let out a sigh. "I wish I knew mother. Everything seems so different. I don't know where I belong anymore. I feel like I am missing something but I can't figure out what it is. I somehow feel so empty."

"Oh Michaela, you had a terrible accident and you need time to heal, to get your strengths back," Elizabeth answered.

"That's just it mother, it is not because of what happened. Something changed in here," and Michaela touched her chest. "There is something I feel but I don't know if I can trust that. I know I like William but I don't know if that is enough anymore. I want to be as happy as you are with father. I just don't know if William could make me that happy."

"Listen to me Michaela. When I married your father, I barely knew him. Yes, we had seen each other a few times and I was very fond of your father at that time already. Even if I would have hated him, and lord knows that will never happen, I had to marry him anyway. It was an arranged marriage and we couldn't have done anything to prevent it. We didn't want to do that with our children and so far it proved us right. All my daughters are happily married to respectable men."

"But I see them, mother. They are not as happy as you and father are. I can see it every time I look at you both. Father has always a sparkle in his eyes when he looks at you. I don't see that in Williams eyes. He says he cares for me but he never says that he loves me."

"Love, Michaela? Love has nothing to do with marriage at the beginning. You will _learn _to love and trust your husband but it takes time. It is more important to find a suitable match but I can see you might have the wrong idea about marriage. Maybe we should have talked about it a long time ago."

-------

Michaela was shocked. She had never expected to be so far away from the truth as she had been with the marriage of her parents. Everything she had believed in was a lie. Love had never been the reason why their parents had married.

Indeed marriage had nothing to do with love. At least not when it comes to chose the husband. Love might come later in marriage but only with luck. No one from her sisters had ever mentioned they loved their husbands, nor did she ever heard the men saying anything sweet to her sisters. No, there was nothing at all and only now Michaela had realized that she was trying to live a dream. A dream that only existed in her fantasy, believing that she would find her true love. A dream where she could live a life full of happiness, joy and care. A dream, where she had found a man who wanted to convince her that in her heart, she would know that they were meant only for each other, that she was loved, wanted and needed. That if she would follow her heart, she will find the answers she was looking for. But that dream was falling apart the more she thought about her mother's words. Nothing like this could ever exists. Her mother was right. She was afraid to finally take the last step. Marriage. She would spend the rest of her live with William and this was for the best. They were fond of each other and everything else would come with time. She just needed to trust.

Turning around towards the window, Michaela wanted nothing else as to sleep right now. In the morning, William would take her home and then she would tell him how happy she was to finally become his wife. She wanted to apologize and make everything right between them again. Telling him, she would be honored to go to Colorado Springs with him, practicing side by side in their own clinic.

Closing her eyes, Michaela tried to relax. It had been an emotional day. But from this day forward, she promised herself to not fall back in to the weakness again. No, she was strong and she had made the right decision. That she was sure of. No silly dreams about a man she didn't even know, nor the pounding of her heart, when she looked him in his blue eyes, would stop her now. She would marry William Burke at the end of this week.

-----------

But Michaela hadn't realized that with today, she had allowed her heart to open. In one single moment a bond had been formed between them that would go beyond everything she knew.

She would discover, that only with him, she would ever feel complete.

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On the way to the reservation, Sully had been a nervous wreck. He couldn't think straight. The imagine of Michaela, waiting for him, wouldn't go away. The closer they were getting, the more Sully's heart was pounding. It couldn't go fast enough for him and at one point, he took over the reins from Charlotte, looking over at her with an apologizing gaze and gave the horses another push.

Brian had still been sitting in the back and enjoyed the ride immensely, feeling the strong wind hissing across his face. Sometimes, when both grownups weren't paying attention, he would lean outside the wagon, trying to touch the flowers, shining colorful from the sunlight. But he would be caught every time again from his mother, giving him a stern look, pulling him back in.

Sully hadn't witnessed any of this. He was concentrating on the road in front of him and as soon as the reservation came into view his eyes roamed over the village, trying to find the only person that mattered the most to him. Michaela.

He spotted Cloud Dancing and immediately steered the wagon in his direction. The horses didn't even come to a full stop when Sully jumped down the buckboard.

"Is she here? Cloud Dancing, where is Michaela?" But Sully didn't wait for an answer. He passed Cloud Dancing and looked desperately around the village, trying to get a glimpse of Michaela. She had to be somewhere. "Michaela!" Sully yelled turning around and around. But no one was paying attention. No one answered.

"There she is Sully. Over there." Brian was standing in the back of the wagon, yelling to Sully and pointing towards the woman he remembered as the one he had seen earlier.

"Sully!" Brian tried again and this time Sully turned around towards Brian and immediately followed his gaze.

There she was. Standing with her back to him, Sully could only see her long, silky hair falling down her back. "Michaela!" Sully yelled. Nothing else existed anymore. He just saw Michaela right there in front of him. Almost running, Sully wanted nothing more then to take her in his waiting warms, feeling her body close to his, kissing her without reservation.

Suddenly, feeling that something was pulling him back, he stopped. It was Cloud Dancing's hand on his shoulder and his words that made him come back to reality. "Sully, don't. Look at her." Sully looked at her again and then his world came crashing down on him. Not believing his eyes, Sully blinked a few times but she was still there. How could he have been so blind?

"Catherine," he whispered. Sully had never been more disappointed in his entire life when he saw who was standing in front of him. Quickly, his excitement turned in to anger, building up more and more inside of him, ready to explode.

Sully took a deep breath, trying to calm his still raising heart. "What is she doing here?"

"I do not now, my brother. She only said she wanted to talk to you."

Crossing his arms in front of his chest, Sully said, "Well, I don't. You know that I don't care for her." Just as Sully was about to leave, Catherine turned around and saw the two men staring at her. Putting on her best smile she slowly walked over to them. But Sully didn't want to have anything to do with Catherine anymore. "I ain't gonna talk to her."

Sully left Cloud dancing's side just in time before she had reached them. Seeing him leaving, she called out his name. "Sully!" But he didn't turn around and climbed back on the wagon, positioning himself next to Charlotte again. "We can go," Sully said quietly, looking back over to Catherine, giving her a last steely glance before they were out of sight.

She wanted to follow him, but Cloud Dancing hold her by the arm. "Catherine, do not do this. I made a mistake in telling his friends you wanted to talk to him. Let him go. He does not belong to you and you don't belong to this village anymore. Your lies had brought damage to us. Leave and go back to your people."

Catherine stood with wide open eyes in front of Cloud Dancing and felt her tears slowly falling down her cheeks. She had wanted a last chance, showing she had changed but as soon as she had seen Sully, she couldn't control herself. It was as if someone else had taken control over her and she forgot everything around her. Staring in his eyes, she knew what he was trying to tell her. _Sully doesn't want you, as well as the tribe_. But she didn't listen. She was still living in the past, thinking she could have Sully back. Although there had never been anything between them, she had pictured them together every time.

Sighing, she said, "I am sorry Cloud Dancing but I think you are wrong. He just had a bad day today. He…."

Raising his hand in front of her, Cloud Dancing interrupted her with an angry look. "Here, you will not find what you are looking for."

Catherine followed Cloud Dancing with sad eyes as he went over to greet his wife with a soft kiss. The only thing she ever wanted was to have someone in her life who would care for her, wanted her and loved her. Cloud Dancing wanted her to realize that there would be no hope. But she knew better. Here she _will _find what she was looking for. "He was not himself today. He will see that I have changed. I just have to be patient," Catherine whispered.

---------

Sully had been sitting quietly next to Charlotte. Only just once in a while he gave her directions where he wanted her to go.

He was still angry with himself to have almost lost control again when he saw Catherine. He had known her for a very brief time only. Shortly after Abigail had died, she had come to the village looking for comfort and help. Dog soldiers had killed her entire family. Since both of them were still grieving over losing their loved ones, she had believed she would find comfort in Sully's arms. He had never done anything to give her hope having anything more then friendship. Only one time had they fallen asleep in his tipi after they had talked almost the entire night and had laid closely next to each other on the buffalo fur. There had been nothing else. But she had come up with different stories and lies to keep Sully with her. Even though nothing had helped and no one had believed her, it had created a rift among the people for different reasons.

Sighing, Sully just wanted to forget her. He hoped, that Cloud Dancing had made it clear to Catherine that she was not welcomed any more and that she should never come back to the Cheyenne people or him.

Charlotte had been quiet as well. She had known Sully for a long time now but never had she seen him quite like this before. Today, his eyes had a fire in them that she hadn't seen for a long time. As a matter of fact, she had never noticed them shining and sparkling whenever he had looked at Abigail. It had been more of a sweet smile that young couples would show to each other after they had become husband and wife. But today, they had been full of passion, excitement and most of all they had shown pure love.

Looking over at Sully, she noticed him staring in to the distance, looking at nothing in particular. His chest was still raising and falling a little to fast but she saw he was trying to control his breathing.

Finally, she couldn't hide her curiosity anymore and approached the subject. Smiling, she asked, "who is Michaela?"

Immediately she noticed his breathing quickened again, his lips forming a little smile, his eyes having that same fire in them as before. "She is the woman I want to spent the rest of my life with," seeing that they have finally reached the spot, he added, "we're here. This is the place."

A few moments later, all three of them were sitting on the blanket, with Brian on Sully's lap, leaning against his chest and Charlotte beside him.

Sully was the first one to break the silence again and whispered, "this is where I want to build a house."

"It's a beautiful place, Sully. So peaceful," Charlotte answered while her eyes took in the beauty of her surroundings. "Michaela is a lucky woman, you know?" Glancing back at Sully, she detected a sadness in his eyes. "Won't you finally tell me what's going through you mind? Something is bothering you. I've never seen you like this Sully."

Sighing, Sully thought about a way of explaining what had made him so different. "I am waiting for my dreams turn in to something real, something I can believe in. At first I didn't understand. I couldn't see it until I finally did let go of the past, gave in to love again and suddenly all my bitterness burned in that instant. I can't explain it Charlotte."

"Sounds pretty serious to me. How did you meet her?" Charlotte asked, not prepared for what would come next.

Smiling again, Sully answered. "In my dreams. I actually have never met her face to face. I know she is out there and tries to figure out if she can trust something that is not real, something that only exists in our hearts and minds. Somehow we have a strong connection to each other no one can explain."

Charlotte didn't know what to say. She knew she should believe Sully but it was difficult. "So, and you believe all this? I am sorry Sully. I just can't imagine something like that could ever exist."

"Believe me Charlotte." Looking down at Brian, Sully saw that the little boy had fallen asleep in his arms. Whispering, he continued. "I was dead Charlotte. Loren had found me in a very bad shape. I had lost the connection to her. I was devastated. I gave up on living. But Cloud Dancing and Michaela helped me to come back to life. I know that this is real and I'll do what ever it takes to make her see that we belong together."

"How Sully? How is this possible?"

"I don't know Charlotte. One night I just had a dream about her and then somehow we ended up having that strong connection to each other and then all of a sudden I had lost it. I had felt so empty inside of me. I was even more lost now then when Abigail had died. I've never felt anything like this Charlotte. It is like having finally found the other half of your soul. I know without her I will never find peace again, never be complete." Sighing, Sully added, "I just hope she feels the same way. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost the connection again. But something feels different inside. Cloud Dancing said that something stands between us. I hope I can make her see what she means to me, Charlotte. Every night I pray that she won't leave me again."

Brian was moving in Sully's arms and a moment later his eyes flew open. Stretching, he asked, "what are you talking about?"

Letting Brian get up from his lap, Sully answered, "dreams, Brian."

Excitedly, Brian answered, "oh I just had a dream standing in Mr. Brays store in front of all the candy I like and I couldn't decide which one I wanted," Brian giggled. "There were so many, some I didn't even see before."

"You are always thinking about candy, don't you young man? And I think it's time for us to go back to town. We have been gone long enough now."

"Oh Ma, really? Can't we stay a little longer? Please?" Sighing, he added, "I was sleeping the whole time."

Charlotte rose and ruffled her sons hair. "That is why you shouldn't eat too many candies. Having a stomachache makes you miserable, you can't go to sleep at night and then you sleep during the day. You can see Sully another time. He needs to be alone right now," looking at Sully whilst speaking the last words.

"Thank you Charlotte for listening."

"Anytime Sully. I have a feeling you won't dream that long anymore. Before you know it, you'll we be living in that house you want to build. You never know Sully, this young man's dream is coming to life sooner then he expected, because I need to do grocery shopping." Charlotte chuckled. Squeezing his shoulder slightly she whispered, "don't give up Sully."

"I won't." Tickling Brian, Sully said, "listen more to your Ma, Brian. She is a very wise lady. I promise to come to town soon and then we can go fishing again, ok?"

Brian, still trying to breathe, laughed. "I try, Sully. But she makes me mad sometimes cause I can't have all the candy I…" but before he could continue, Charlotte had covered his mouth with her hand and pulled him towards her chest. "He is going to turn in to a candy if I don't stop him," Charlotte chuckled. "See you Sully," with that she turned around and pulled Brian with her.

Brian, still laughing, tried to pull her hand away. "Ma, I can't say good bye to Sully when you have your hand over my mouth." Turning, Brian yelled back at Sully, waving with his free arm. "Bye Sully."

"Bye Brian."

Sully watched them disappear and thanked the spirits to have such great friends in his life.

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Laying under the sunset sky, with his arms crossed behind his head, Sully thought about Charlotte's question again. How was this possible? He had found her and she had found him in their darkest times. His soul had easily reached for hers. Deep down in his heart he knew they had formed a bond that would last a lifetime. The spirits had giving him a second chance in finding his true love. Why he deserved this, Sully had no idea. He only knew that he will never jeopardize her love again.

Breathing peacefully, Sully closed his eyes, wishing for the dreams to come again. Only then, he had the chance to be with her, to smell her sweet scent, to feel her soft skin under his touch trembling from desire and to see her eyes sparkling with love back at him, warming his heart all over again…

---------------

"_Why did you even come here."_

"_Why did I come?_

"_Yes, why?_

"_Because…"_

"_Because…?"_

"_Because I love you!"............._

* * *

_Yes I know.....it's still a mess...*sigh*....But thanks for reading anyway...*grins*_


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Sully had been watching Michaela in her sleep for quite a while. He was sitting in the rocking chair next to her bed, listening to her steady breathing. Nothing could be more beautiful and peaceful at this moment, being so close to her again. Once in a while, she would turn up the corner of her mouth in to a sweet, warm smile which made Sully's heartbeat quicken a little more each time. He had never loved a woman so much as this lovely angel laying beneath the white covers in front of him.

Michaela shifted a little and the soft white layer exposed more of her skin. Sully couldn't resist any more and gently touched her bare arm with the back of his hand, running it up and down, seeing her smiling again.

Slowly her eyes fluttered open and her heart immediately quickened as she saw his blue eyes again. He smiled down at her, still caressing her soft skin.

"Hey," Sully whispered gently.

Michaela was so lost in his eyes that she forgot about her earlier promises, to not let anything happen again. But she couldn't fight it. It was just too much for her. Her body was trembling, her skin feeling warmer with every minute, her pulse speeding. His hand felt amazing on her skin. It was a soft, feather light touch. It created a heat within her she couldn't explain. She couldn't move and let her feelings transporting her into a different world. This is how it suppose to feel. With one single touch, with one look from his eyes, she came alive, her heart breaking free. She was falling. Falling. Consumed by a deep desire. She wanted nothing more at this moment then to feel his lips claiming hers.

No, she couldn't let this happen. They were walking on dangerous ground and she wasn't sure if she would be able to stop after just one kiss.

Their eyes met again. Sully watched her as she was fighting her inner battle. A look from desire met his gaze and he knew she was thinking the same. Raising from his seat, Sully slowly, ever so carefully, sat next to her on the bed, all the while never breaking contact with her eyes. He moved his hand away from her now warm skin and brushed a strain of hair out of her face, tucking it gently behind her ear.

"You look so beautiful," Sully whispered again.

Michaela closed her eyes, enjoying his attention. No one had ever told her she was beautiful. Never before had someone reached so deeply in to her heart with one single word. With him, she felt in heaven.

Suddenly she could feel his breath on her skin. She opened her eyes and saw his face only inches away, smiling. She felt the pounding of his heart on her chest, beating in rhythm with her own racing heart. He leaned closer. Closer and closer until she felt his lips covering hers in a gentle but passionate kiss. She let go. She opened up to him, welcoming his tongue, deepening the kiss. Time seemed to stand still, making this moment last for eternity.

Every nerve in Sully's body ached for this woman. With one kiss everything else was fading away. He loved the way her lips felt on his, so soft and tender. She was simply taking his breath away, the longer the kiss lasted. This is how it suppose to feel. He felt complete.

Sully wanted the kiss to last forever but it had to end sometime. Slowly, Sully reluctantly pulled away from her. Seeing her rosy, flushed skin and her swollen lips, Sully had a difficult time coming back down to earth. In his eyes she was perfect, an angel send down from heaven.

Michaela had her difficulties as well. Her breathing had quicken to a point where she thought her heart would burst from desire any second. He was incredible.

Still with her eyes closed, Michaela fought against her feelings. This was wrong. She had promised herself not fall for him again. He was just in her fantasy. A dream. A dream that wouldn't go away. But she would be strong. She needed to remind herself that this was not the reality. Not this man. He was not real. Taking a deep breath, Michaela opened her eyes again.

Sully was still smiling back at her. His eyes shining full of love. But instead of returning a smile, Michaela looked away, covering her body again and sat up straighter in bed.

Sully was alarmed. Had he gone too far? Reaching out, he wanted to trace his fingertips over her cheeks again, but she wouldn't let him.

"Don't," Michaela whispered. "Don't."

Softly, Sully asked, "hey, what's wrong? I am sorry if I…"

"This was a mistake. I won't let that happen again," Michaela answered.

Sully was paralyzed with fear. His hands trembling from panic. He couldn't breath. Struggling for air, his lungs began to tense. His world started spinning while the walls were closing around him. With every beat of his heart, his chest felt heavier. His mind was racing.

With a shivering voice, Sully tried again. "Don't say that. It was beautiful. You…" but she interrupted him again.

"You are not real. This is just a dream. Go."

Her few words struck right in to his heart. "How can you say that? Don't you remember anymore? Michaela look at me!"

" I can't."

"Why? What did I do that you can't look me in the eyes anymore?" Sully was desperate. "Talk to me."

"It's not you. It's me. I can't do this. I don't need you anymore. I need to let go." Michaela fought back her own tears. She never had thought it would be so hard to say goodbye to him.

Sully on the other hand, didn't know what was happening. How could this be possible after everything they had been through already? Why was she shying away from him? Trying to calm his racing heart, he attempt a different approach.

Almost pleading, he said, "search your heart Michaela. Don't tell me you don't feel it. Tell me you don't feel this incredible warm feeling creeping in every corner of your being. That makes your heart racing like never before and you feel your stomach flutter like thousands of butterflies. Tell me you don't feel any of this. Because I do. Every time I look at you. You take my breath away, Michaela! Why can't you see that?"

Michaela was shivering now. Yes, she felt all of these feelings. And more. But she needed him to believe that there was nothing. That she would feel nothing at all so he would go away. Closing her eyes, she choked back her tears. Then, almost not audible, she whispered, "I don't. And you don't as well. This is just a dream."

But Sully didn't believe her. "Look in to my eyes and you'll see what you mean to me. You came in to my life and my world stood still. You reached in to my heart and soul. You gave me my life back. You are the reason I go on every day." Seeing Michaela fighting with her tears as he was fighting with his, he reached for her hand, hoping she wouldn't shy away again. To his surprise she didn't. "Why are you doing this, Michaela. You know it's true. Just look in your heart again. Look in to my eyes."

But Michaela wouldn't give in. "Why did you even come here?" she whispered.

Sully was puzzled. Didn't he just explain to her what she meant to him?

"What?" he asked.

"Why did you even come here," Michaela repeated her question, this time looking at him. Instantly she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Why did I come?"

"Yes, why?"

"Because…"

"Because…?"

"Because I love you!"

There it was. The words she longed to hear. The words she always dreamed of hearing from William, were spoken now by a man she didn't even know. No, in her mind, she didn't know him but in her heart, in her heart she wanted nothing more then to say those three little words back to him. But she couldn't. She knew that he longed to hear the words from her, saying it back from the bottom of her heart. If she would let that happen, she would lose everything. William has to be the only man in her life and no one else.

With the next words she knew she would break his heart and hers, letting it crumble to the ground.

Sighing, she finally found the courage.

"I don't want you anymore. I don't love you." Instantly she could see his eyes filling with tears anew, running down his stubble cheeks. Oh how she wanted to just kiss them away, hugging him close, telling him she didn't mean it. But there was no other way of letting him know that it has to end. Right here, right now.

Sully felt as if the ground beneath his feet was being washed away, letting him fall in to the darkness again. And this time, there would be no one to catch him. He was falling.

Raising from his position next to her, he slowly made his way over to the window. Leaning against the edge, he crossed his arms, protecting himself against the cold. He let his tears run down freely. The pain in his heart was almost unbearable. His whole body was shaking from pour sadness. Everything around him was fading away. Why was this happening again? Why did she say, she didn't love him when he could see the truth in her eyes? She had felt the same passion, the same desire when they had shared this incredible kiss. Why? And suddenly it dawned upon him.

Turning around, he asked with reddened eyes. "Why?"

Michaela had watched him and her heart grew heavier with each breath she took, with each tear he shed. Michaela was about to give in but then he had asked the question she had feared the most.

"Why?" she repeated.

"Yes, why did you say you don't want me no more?"

Taking a deep breath, Michaela tried to calm her nerves. Stumbling, she answered. "I…I mean…that is none of your business," finally coming out with it, her voice loud and clear.

Almost instantly, Sully replied, "Is that right?"

"That's right." Even now, Sully could see the fire in her eyes. No matter what she did, he could always see past them and knew there was more to it then she led on.

Turning around again, he looked back out of the window. Holding his breath, he asked, "Is there someone else?"

Michaela was shocked. "I beg your pardon?"

Closing his eyes, he let out the breath he had been holding. "No begging necessary. Just the truth."

Michaela was feeling her anger rising within her. Why was he so stubborn? Coldly, she replied. "As a matter of fact there is."

"Do you love him?"

She hesitated and Sully noticed, giving him a glimmer of hope back in his heart.

"Just the truth, Michaela."

Michaela tried to control her anger. "How dare you?"

Sully turned around again and saw her eyes sparkling with anger. Why was she being so stubborn? "Why can't you answer my question. Do - you - love - him?"

Michaela's mind was spinning. Maybe this was her chance of finally letting go. Maybe if she would say it out loud it would feel real. Closing her eyes, she whispered, "Yes."

Sully heard it but somehow deep down, he knew she was making a fool of herself. But now was not the time. He knew she was trying to convince herself she didn't love him but the other. He decided the longer he would stay, the bigger the damage would be.

Straightening, he looked in her eyes, trying with his words to reach in to her heart. "I think you're lying to yourself if you believe that. I know what I feel, what _we _feel is real. I ain't giving up on you Michaela. You are burned deep down in my heart and I'll do what ever it takes to make you see that. You're my other half that makes me complete. And I know you feel the same." Sighing, Sully inhaled deeply. "I'll go now. I know you need some time. But never forget that I love you from the bottom of my heart, Michaela. Don't ever forget that."

Michaela opened her eyes and to her surprise, William was just closing the door behind him.

"Good morning, my darlin'. I hope you're well rested. It's time to take you home."

-----------

"A good marriage is of equal respect," Joseph stated as he watched his wife at her vanity. It was still a mystery to him how she did up her hair every morning, knowing exactly where she needed to put every strain of her hair so it would look perfect in the end. He watched every move of her fingers as they run through the curls, pinning them up, one after the other and placing them at the right spot where she wanted them to be. It had been a ritual now for many years, forty be exact. He would be still laying in bed watching her, before she literally would kick him out of the bedroom to get dressed in private.

Watching him through the mirror, their eyes locked. "What are you referring to, Joseph? That William doesn't respect her? He is a good man for Michaela. He is highly respected in the society." Elizabeth replied, knowing exactly that this would lead to another argument in the morning, again.

"I am referring to that I have been watching them Elizabeth. Mike is right when she said that only William is making decisions. A marriage only works with the ability to communicate. To be able to talk to each other, finding a solid ground that stabilizes the marriage. William made a choice in moving to Colorado Springs Elizabeth, but never thought for one moment, if that was what she wanted as well."

Raising from the edge of the bed, Joseph made his way over to his wife. Placing both hands on her shoulder, squeezing them lightly, he added softly, "look at us Elizabeth. Since forty years, we never made decisions without talking them through first. I just don't want to see my little girl getting hurt in making the wrong decision. Maybe she wants something else."

Elizabeth stopped her movements, placing the pins on the vanity. Rising her eyebrows, she skeptically eyed her husband through the mirror. "What are you saying, Joseph?"

But Joseph just squeezed her shoulders again and placed a soft kiss on her still not finished hair. "They will be here soon. Don't take too long."

Elizabeth watched her husband walking towards the door. Turning around in her chair, she said, with a mischief smile. "I know you, Joseph Quinn. Mark my words, I am not through with you, yet."

"I know you weren't," Joseph replied, looking at her, smiling, before he turned the doorknob, opened the heavy wooden door and closed it behind himself with a loud click.

Elizabeth still stared at the now closed door. She knew her husband far too well not to realize that there was something in his mind he wouldn't tell her. Quickly, she finished putting up her hair, dressed herself in one of her nicest dresses and left the bedroom, determined to find out what was going on…

---------

About an hour later, Michaela and William had arrived at the Quinn residence. Martha had prepared a feast and Michaela had enjoyed her first real breakfast. She was definitely feeling more at home with each minute she could sit at the table with her parents again. Unfortunately, she was yet not strong enough to enjoy their company for long and excused herself to rest in her own bedroom. William had noticed her eyes searching for his, before she rose from the chair, wanting him to follow. Of course, Elizabeth had been skeptical but Joseph had held her back. "Let them talk." Sighing, Elizabeth had settled back down again but couldn't resist in giving him an angry look, "this is not proper Joseph." Joseph had just shrugged his shoulders and gave her an apologizing smile.

---------

Michaela was standing in the middle of the room when William entered.

"Are you alright, darlin'?" William asked but kept his distance.

"Do you love me, William?" Michaela asked out of the blue, not turning around to face him. On their way home, Michaela hadn't found the courage to say what has been on her mind since the last dream she had. All the while she had thought about his words again and again. _'Because I love you!' _He hadn't hesitated for one single moment to tell her what he felt in his heart. She had looked him in his eyes and she could see them sparkling, shining so bright that it had almost scared her.

William, ignoring her question completely, went passed her and sat down in one of the wingback chairs by the window. "Sit down, darlin'."

"I asked you a question, William," Michaela said, frustrated that he actually treated her like a child.

Seeing him leaning back in the chair and folding one leg over the other, she studied his features. She knew that this was probably the worst mistake she could do at this moment but she just simply wanted to know the truth. Eyeing him from head to toe, Michaela suddenly realized, she had actually never _really _looked at this man before. Yes, they had spend quite some time together for the past two years but most of the time they had never been really alone. In the hospital other colleagues demanded their attention and in restaurants most people would recognize William and they always ended up with more people around their table. The few private moments they had shared, they spend their time talking about cases of patients but never shared a moment just getting to know each other better or talking about their relationship or their future.

William watched her intensively and knew what was going through her mind. Compare to her, he knew her quite well but had been astonished, she would ask him such a delicate question.

"You know the answer to that," he replied, a little to annoyed for Michaela's likening.

"Do I, William?"

"Darlin', what are you talking about? You know I care for you. We are getting married in three days. Doesn't that show you how I feel about you?" William was getting nervous. He never had expected to have a conversation with Michaela about love. Did she even know what that word meant? Didn't she know that _love _only existed in those romantic books, only being read by women or, in operas, losing the true love by killing themselves at the end because they can't see their love in another man's embrace?

Michaela felt her stomach tighten. She was beginning to quail and was agitated by sudden fear. Why had she asked him that question to begin with? She had wanted to tell him how lucky she was to become his wife and now she was ruining it. If she would back down now, there would be a chance that William will forgive her.

Sighing, she sat down next to him in the wingback chair. Looking down at her hands, she tried to find the right words.

"I want to apologize William. I should have never asked you the question. I know you care about me as I care for you. It just had been an emotional week and I guess I am just afraid that you will leave me." And then came the words she had been afraid of saying most of her life. "I am afraid to be alone William." There they were. Yes, William was here, right in front of her, compare to the man of her dreams. He was just a dream and she had been afraid if she would give in, in to her emotions, William would leave her for good and she would be left alone with a man that only existed in her dreams.

William was stunned. He really had thought he knew Michaela well enough but now he had to realize that there was so much more he didn't know about her. One minute she had been as stubborn as her father and in the next, she looked like a child who needed the comfort embrace of her mother.

Reaching out, William laid her hand over hers, linking their fingers. "Darlin', I can't imagine what you have been through the last weeks. I know it must have been horrible. But I am here for you Michaela. We will start a new life in Colorado Springs, together as husband and wife. You know how important that is, don't you?" Michaela nodded. " I want to share that with you, darlin'." Lifting her hand to his lips, he gave her knuckles a soft kiss. "Your mother has almost everything arranged for our wedding already. She is quite a lady, I must say."

Michaela looked up and saw William, waiting for her to say something in return. Letting out a deep breath, she shifted slightly to give him a peck on his cheek. "Thank you William. I _am _looking forward to become your wife and start a new life together in Colorado Springs. I am sorry that I doubted you."

William had never been so relieved in his entire life. To be honest, he hadn't known what he would have answered Michaela if she had insisted of hearing the truth. But that was Michaela. So insecure about herself that in some aspects, she was blind as a little child, believing whatever her parents would tell her.

But his nervousness returned immediately as he felt the telegram in his pocket. He had been thinking about a way, of how he could reveal the news to her ever since he got the telegram this morning. The news, that would lead them to a fork in the path and it was up to them, to decide if they would have a shared future after all.

----------

Sully had still felt his heart beating rapidly when he woke from his dream. How can a woman be so stubborn and why couldn't she just see what was right in front of her? He had repeatedly shown her, that she was the love of his life, that without her, he had no reason to go on. Their bodies had almost melted together, when they had shared the kiss. He had felt how her heart was beating faster and faster, responding to his kiss as never before.

Sighing, Sully tried to keep his emotions in check. He wouldn't give up and he knew what he had to do, to make her finally realize, what they meant for each other. Tonight, he thought. Tonight he would tell her.

Sully hadn't heard the footsteps behind him, when he all of a sudden heard a voice close to his ears. "Women trouble again? Maybe I can help."


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Sighing, Sully closed his eyes. 'That voice. _Her _voice.' That's exactly what he needed at the moment, another disagreement with Catherine. Sully was still shocked from his dream. His body was covered with sweat. His mind was still with Michaela, thinking about a way to convince her that it was _not _just a dream. That it was real and she was just too afraid to admit it.

Not having enough energy to just leave, Sully had no other choice in letting Catherine sit next to him. Only when she tried to loop her arm around his, Sully came back to his senses. The touch send a shiver down his spine and Sully struggled to get out of her embrace, trying to keep a distance between them.

Finally having his space, Sully glanced at Catherine for the first time. Seeing the hurt in her eyes, he instantly felt guilty. Yes, she was all alone and had lost everything. Much like him. Nonetheless, it wouldn't change what happened in the past. She had caused too much pain to him and the village, his family. It had been too much to just forget about it now.

Taking a deep breath, Sully was the first one to speak.

"What do you want Catherine?"

"I want you back," Catherine whispered, looking directly in to the eyes she fell in love with the first time she had met him in the village.

"There was never anything between us, Catherine," Sully sighed, looking in to the distance, avoiding her gaze.

Trying a different approach, Catherine shifted a little and came closer to Sully again. She held out her hand and when he didn't shy away, she placed hers over his.

Sully looked down at their hands on his knee. Her hand was small, soft and her skin was lighter than his. Her touch was light as a feather, not demanding. It was loving. For the first time, Sully realized, that he longed to be held in a loving embrace again. Feeling the love of a woman. Sully closed his eyes. Reality escaped him, lost in the moment. How he wished Michaela was at his side right now. Feeling the touch of her hand, reassuring him that everything was going to be alright.

Only when Sully heard her voice again, he knew he had stepped over the boundaries, giving her a glimmer of hope.

"I hoped the love I have for you would be strong enough to draw you back to me. My heart is with you, Sully." Catherine said softly, hoping she could reach in to his heart. "If I love you with all my heart, If I am faithful and true I…"But Sully stopped her, pulling his hand away.

"You are lonely, Catherine," Sully said, " You would fall for anyone and…" this time she interrupted him.

"The loneliness only you can replace, Sully. I know there will be no one else that can fill my heart as you do."

Sully sighed. How could he make her understand? Gazing back at her, he finally revealed. "My heart is not with you. It belongs to someone else." Sully waited for her reaction before he continued. He saw the hurt back in her eyes but there was no other way in making clear to her, there was and will be no hope at all. "I have found my soul mate, Catherine. I am not gonna betray her." Seeing her tears running down her cheeks, he leaned forward and wiped them away with his thumb. With soothing words, Sully tried to comfort her. "You still have some family back east, Catherine. I know it hurts but if you stay strong you will make it through." Pausing, he added, "I am sorry, Catherine."

But Catherine was still not willing to give up so easily. "Where is this woman then, Sully. Where is she to comfort you right now?" Taking his hand away from her cheeks, she placed it over her heart, holding it firmly. "I am here, Sully. She is not."

Sully withdrew his hand and pressed it against his own heart. "She is in here. She always will be."

Sighing, Sully rose from his position. "Don't ruin your life Catherine in trying to get something you can't have. I made that mistake. It almost cost me my life once. You have seen me after Abigail had died. Don't do the same mistake."

But Catherine didn't listen. She just wanted to run. Run away from the past and the present. The future. A future without Sully was unimaginable for her. How could she survive without the love of her life? He was the first and will be the last. She knew that. She would never find someone like him again. They were the same. "Leave me alone," she whispered.

"Catherine, I…."

"Just leave me alone, Sully," she said again. This time Sully detected an angry tone in her voice and knew there was nothing else he could do. "Goodbye, Catherine."

Her tears were streaming down her cheeks now. Blinking, she tried to see Sully. But he was already gone.

Catherine tried to focus again. Still feeling the pain in her heart, she knew she could never stay around Sully, or the village for that matter. She had no place to go. She would always be reminded of what she couldn't have. As Cloud Dancing said, here she won't find what she was looking for. With a heavy heart she knew what she had to do. Rising to her feet, she looked around. Maybe Sully was still here. But of course he wasn't. Slowly, Catherine walked the same way back as she had come from, leaving her old life behind, willing to try to start a new one. A new life with the only family she had left but didn't even know.

----------------

After Sully had left Catherine, he didn't know where to go and what to do. Again and again, her words echoed in his head. _'Where is she', 'I am here, she is not'_. He didn't regret his decision in leaving Catherine but her words had reminded him, if he wouldn't do something fast, he will be without Michaela forever. His last dream had proven it. She was slipping away from him again. Sully knew deep down, that she loved him. He had recognized the same fire in her eyes as in his. Sully remembered the words of his brother. _'You must tend to the fire, help it grow, otherwise it will burn out and will leave only the reminders behind what had been once there.' _But how could he take care of it, if he couldn't reach for it?

Without really having paid much attention, Sully was back at his mountain as the sun sets down over the valley beneath him once again. No matter when Sully came to this place, he always felt at peace. It was like the wind carrying all his worries and pain away, leaving only the good thoughts behind.

Breathing in the cold, clean air, Sully sat down once again. Crossing his legs, he stretched his arms and placed his hands with a firm grip on his knees. Straightening his back, he prayed to the spirits.

---------

The night was getting cold, the wind picked up speed. Snow was falling and gently covered mother nature in a white soft layer.

But Sully had no intention of breaking down now. Since he started talking to the spirits, his heart had felt heavier. Something was out of balance.

Taking a deep breath, Sully inhaled the now brisk air, almost ripping his lounges apart.

His stomach tightened again, his heart almost stopped beating, when he saw a lifeless Michaela curled up on her side. Rain was pouring down on her, her clothes clung wet to her body. The sky was covered with heavy, thick clouds. No stars, no moon. Nothing but complete darkness.

--------------

Michaela was staring at the empty plate in front of her. She had thought after having the conversation with William this morning, she would feel relieved, happy about the upcoming wedding, finally spending the rest of her life with the man she loved. 'I do love him', Michaela thought to herself. 'And he loves me back. He just can't say it.' Her mind was running around in circles. How could she be so unsure about her own life? What was wrong, what was right? She just didn't want to make the wrong decision.

"What do you think, Michaela?"

Michaela raised her head and saw her mother looking over to her, awaiting an answer. She hadn't listen to any of her wedding preparations since her mother had started talking about it excitedly right before Dinner.

"Excuse me, mother?" Michaela sighed. She should be happy about it, that her mother seemed to enjoy getting organized for her youngest daughters wedding. But Michaela could hardly concentrate on her wedding dress, her wedding cake, flowers, the vows and of course where they would spend their honeymoon. This was too much for her and way to fast. To her surprise, William seemed to share her thoughts. He was sitting across from her and looked as frustrated as she did.

Her eyes left William and searched for her fathers. Bending her head to the right, Michaela saw him sitting at the other end of the table, across from her mother. The corner of his mouth turned in to a small, soft smile.

"Michaela are you listening to me?" Elizabeth asked again.

"I am sorry mother, I…"

"Michaela, could I speak to you for a minute?" William had already pushed the heavy chair back when he interrupted his fiancée. Standing, William placed the napkin next to his plate and gazed at Elizabeth first, then to Joseph. "Excuse us."

William didn't wait for an answer and was already out of the dining room before Michaela had a chance to contradict him. Raising from her chair as well, she gave an apologizing look to both of her parents. "Excuse me," she barely whispered.

"What is wrong Michaela,?" Elizabeth asked, stunned. Glaring over to her husband, she saw him shaking his head. "Leave her be, Elizabeth," he said with a calm voice.

Michaela thanked him with nodding her head briefly before she left to follow William.

------------

William stood by the large window with both hands in his pockets. He was breathing heavily and stared in to the dark of the night, wondering how Michaela would react to the news.

Michaela came in to the room and had a hard time finding her way through the darkness. Only a few candles were lit next to the window William was standing at. Slowly, she made her way over to him.

Once she was close enough, she touched his shoulder, squeezing it slightly with her fingers.

Seeing no reaction, she moved next to him. Folding her hands gently in front of her, she raised her head. The candles were providing enough light, to see his face fully now. Concerned by his appearance, she softly asked, "Is something wrong, William?"

Instead of giving her an answer, he pulled the telegram out of his pocket and handed it to her. Not saying one single word, William still gazed out of the window.

Michaela took the paper out if his hands, slowly, as she knew that something was definitely wrong.

Taking a deep breath, Michaela asked nonetheless. "What is it?"

"Just read it, Michaela," William hissed back.

Sighing, she slowly walked away from him, moving towards a candle. Holding it up, she began to read.

Every single word made Michaela quiver. She knew exactly what it meant. How could she had been so blind? Why had she not been strong enough to end it before her heart was broken? It was not just the realization of William leaving her that broke it. No, it was more anger and disappointment about herself that made it the hardest. Michaela Quinn, a strong, independent woman had been blinded by a man she did not know at all. Her fear, her worry and most of all her insecurity about being alone for the rest of her life made her living a life she didn't even wanted. Just because William had been the only one ever being interested in her she had clung to him, afraid that he would leave her. But it was just a lie. She knew that now.

Letting the paper drop to the floor, Michaela tried to fight her tears running down her face. But it didn't matter now. Looking over to William, he saw him still staring out the window. He hadn't moved a muscle at all.

"Why?" Michaela whispered. That was the only question Michaela could think of. They had talked about it over and over again. They were supposed to be married in not even three days. They were planning to leave the next day after to Colorado Springs.

"Answer me, William," she tried again, her voice full of anger.

Sighing, William finally looked at her. "What do you want me to say, Michaela?"

"The truth," she simply stated.

"The truth? Oh Michaela, do you really want me to say it?" William asked annoyed.

"Only ones William, I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me the truth. Apparently anything else had been a lie."

But to her astonishment, Michaela already knew the answer and it broke her heart anew.

"Alright, Michaela. Being engaged to you helped me in my carrier. Well, actually your father helped me. His name was all I needed to make a name myself. I didn't marry you any sooner because of my parents. They didn't like you from the start, as you can remember. I stayed with you because I knew. the longer I worked in your fathers practice, it would help me to establish my own name. Sometimes I couldn't believe how naïve you were. This morning was actually the first time I thought you would realize that I didn't love you. But as always, Michaela Quinn was too insecure again."

Michaela knew it would hurt but it cut her so deep, she didn't know what to say. There _was _nothing to say. The last two years had been a complete lie. Nothing, absolute nothing had been true. Every word, every kiss, every conversation they had shared was nothing but a lie.

At this moment, Joseph turned on the lights and stood by the door. Seeing his daughter's tears and her puzzled but angry look on her face, Joseph almost lost his temper. He had watched William carefully throughout the dinner and knew that something had bothered him.

"Mike, what is going on here?" Joseph asked, rising his voice, which made William shudder.

Michaela looked from William back over to her father. He was the only man in her life she really loved and trusted with her whole heart. But more important, he loved her back. Suddenly, Michaela felt her heart skipped a beat. Was it true that there was only _one _man whom she loved? Yes. Only one and no one else. She wouldn't go through that again. She needed time for herself now. A new beginning. She needed to find a place where no one knew her. Where she just could be Dr. Michaela Quinn.

Not wasting a minute longer, Michaela picked up the telegram, walked away from William and towards her father. Handing him the piece of paper, she kissed him gently on the cheek. "Please tell mother there will be no wedding." Glancing down on the paper in her fathers hand, she added. "Just let William go please. He is not worth it for you to get upset. It is enough that he hurt me. Please, do that for _me _father."

With that, Michaela left the room, not turning around ones. She just wanted to leave everything behind her.

Taking a deep breath, William finally turned around. He knew that Joseph was still in the room and once he saw his eyes, he wished he had told Michaela earlier. He should have expected that her caring father would do everything to protect his "little girl" from being hurt. He just wanted to get out of here as fast as possible.

Walking towards the door, William was surprised of not getting any reaction from Joseph. Just as he was about to leave the room, Joseph turned to look at William. "Don't ever believe that I am done with you, William. I always thought you were not right for my daughter but I trusted Mike with her judgment. But we were both wrong about you. I have never seen a lower human being as you. Get out of my house and pray you won't come across my wife."

William was about to say something but Joseph had enough. Because of his daughters pleading words, he had controlled himself but enough was enough. "Out," he practically yelled at the young man in front of him. "Get out of my sight."

-------------

Joseph had taken some time before he went up to his daughters room. As soon as he had told Elizabeth what happened with William and their daughter, she had been out of her chair instantly and wanted nothing more then to wrench Williams neck. It had taken everything from his side to keep her in the house. He had never seen such angriness, pain and bitterness in his wife's eyes.

She had still been sitting at the dining table when he had left her to go up to Mike. She would be devastated now and for the first time, he didn't know how to comfort her.

Knocking carefully at her closed door, Joseph called out, "Mike?"

Nothing.

Slowly, he opened the heavy door. No lights were lit, no sound to be heard. The room was empty.

----------------

Michaela had left the house as soon as she had stepped out of the room. She was relieved her mother hadn't notice. She just wanted to be left alone. What was she supposed to do now? Would she want to stay in Boston? Practicing were she had worked together with William? No, definitely not. She needed to get away.

The night was cold and the icy wind blew across her face but Michaela didn't care. She wanted to go to the one place she knew she would be alone.

Finally, after what had seemed like an eternity, she reached her destination. Kneeling down, she brushed the leaves away with her now cold hand. One lamp was lit a little further away but gave enough light to read the inscription. _Miriam Tilson. _

Wiping away her tears, Michaela whispered, "Oh Miriam. You were so right about William. I can't believe I didn't see it coming. I was so blind." Letting her tears fall down freely, Michaela didn't notice the rain drops on her skin. "I will never give my heart to anyone else. I am a doctor. I will find a place where I can practice and dedicate my life to the poor and sick. I will never, ever fall for a man again."

The rain was getting stronger and stronger whilst Michaela's heart felt heavier then ever. She didn't know who she was anymore.

Sinking to the ground, she felt the exhaustion getting the better of her. She was freezing but didn't have enough energy to get back on her feet. Giving in, she closed her eyes.

---------

"Michaela. Oh god Michaela. Don't give up. I am here. I am here," Sully gently rocked Michaela in his arms, whispering soothing words of comfort. Oh god, she was so cold, her body was trembling. Her wet clothes clinging to her body. He didn't know what to do. "Why did I leave you Michaela. I should have stayed with you." Sully was desperate. He looked around if somebody was close by. But he couldn't see anyone. Gently he caressed her cheek with the back of his hand.

Feeling the warmth on her skin, Michaela's eyes fluttered open. She blinked a few times to get the water out of her eyes but then immediately felt the heat building up in her body again. He was here. He came. He had come to _her_.

"I…"

"Shh, everything is going to be alright. You'll see. I am here. I will take care of you." Sully felt his own tears falling down his cheek, one after the other. Not caring about himself, he took his Indian jacket of and placed it softly over her freezing body. He could do nothing else then stay with her as long it would take until someone would find her here.

Michaela felt her body shivering heavier with each minute that passed by. Sully felt it as well and tightened his arms around her. "You're strong Michaela," Sully whispered. "You will make it. I will stay with you through it all. Don't give up, you hear?" Sully pressed a soft kiss on her wet cheek. "I love you."

Michaela didn't know what was happening. She felt so cold but warm at the same time. Looking up, she saw him smiling down at her. His face was so soft, his eyes shining in the dark night, glimmering with love. Love for her. As much as she didn't want to, she felt drawn to him. No matter what she would do, she couldn't deny it anymore. She was in love. Reaching up to caress his face, she gently whispered, "I love you."

Tears of joy were streaming down on Sully face. The three magic words he had longed to hear echoed in his mind again and again. He kissed her, telling her over and over again how much he loved her, caressing her face, rocking her gently in his arms. Finally she admitted her feelings. Sully couldn't be happier at this moment.

But then, he felt her arm dropping down hard on the ground. Her breathing slowed. Sully panicked. "Nooo, Michaela. Be strong. Stay with me. Nooo. Please don't leave me. Michaela. I need you so much. Please. Please, Michaela. Oh god. Don't do this to me," Sully didn't know what to do. He never felt so helpless in his entire life. He only could watch, as the love of his life was slipping away from him once again.

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_Thanks again for reading!!!!!!!!_


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The sound of thunder awakened the spirits. The rain poured harder. He cried. That is all he could do. His tears mixed with each raindrop falling from above. He never had the chance to hold her hand, to kiss her beautiful face, her soft lips. Never running his fingers through her long hair or letting them trail down her chest. How badly had he wanted to look in to her eyes, telling her the three little words that meant the world to him. Never in his life he had wanted more, than to be touched by her, feeling her gentle but loving caresses on his skin, the warmth of her body next to his. Only memories of the moments that had never happened would still be alive in his spirit. She was everything his heart had been looking for. If she wouldn't start fighting now, nothing would be worth anymore. He felt as if his body, his heart, his soul would be leaving with her. The coldness, the pain, the black despair was all that were left. There was simply nothing but sorrow that captured his heart.

Sully clung to her body. He didn't want to let go. Nothing on earth could make him to leave her site now. He didn't care that his body was shivering, being numb from the coldness and the rain. All he wanted was to save the woman in his arms.

Gently, placing a soft kiss on her temple, Sully whispered between his cries, "Fight, Michaela. Please, do it for me. I can't live without you." Holding her body even tighter, Sully muffled his cries in her hair. "I would give my life for you Michaela. I would not wait any second." Raising his head towards the black night sky, Sully screamed, letting his anger show. "Why??? Where are the spirits now??? Why???…." But his voice trailed of. It didn't matter now. Sinking back down with Michaela in his arms, he curled at her side, wrapping his arms around her, trying to protect her.

Time stood still. The clocks stopped ticking. Silence.

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_The umbrellas flip open. Stepping outside, the rain gives in. No lights. No stars, no moon. The sky as black as the clothes everyone was wearing. Almost no sound to be heard, except of the bells in the distance and the tapping of the shoes on the wet ground, as friends and family walked behind the priest. Tears swelling up in every eye. Their hearts clouded and heavy with grief. _

_She watched from the distance as people were walking with heads down, holding each other in an embrace, trying not to give in to the desire to just drop to the ground. While hands shadowed their faces, trying to wipe away endless tears, she couldn't see clearly enough who came walking towards her now. She only could make out her parents just because they were the closest she ever had as a family and knew every move and gesture._

_Her mother was wrapped up in her fathers arms. Those strong arms she always had the privilege to cherish. Arms she only had known providing comfort and love. Never had her father denied her that wish, being held in his arms. Now he was trying to hold her mother on her feet, having her body close to his, as she would be a little child. She clung to him desperately and once they were close enough, Michaela could hear their voices echoing through the darkness._

"_Elizabeth, you have to be strong. We need to go on. That is what she would want."_

"_How can I move on, Joseph," Elizabeth cried. "I lost my daughter. We lost our little girl, just because…" but she couldn't go on._

_Suddenly another man appeared. He kneeled down next to the casket. She could barely see the face but his voice send a shudder down her spine. She knew that voice. She would recognize it everywhere. She felt her body tremble as he whispered, only words dedicated to her._

"_Oh god Michaela. I don't know what I am doing here. I can't live without you. I…I…wish I had come to you. But I didn't know how. I…I tried to safe you but I was not strong enough. Please forgive me. I loved you so much. I still do." Tears streamed down his face, his skin pale and exhausted. "I don't know what to do anymore. You were the only reason that kept me alive. Oh god Michaela, I miss you so much." He finally broke down. He didn't care what people thought about him. He just wanted to be close to Michaela. _

_She wanted to reach out but she couldn't move. Every time she took a step closer, she was moving away from him. Oh god, what had happened? And then it came back to her. The night, she had laid in this mans arms, the night she had died. Tears were forming in her eyes. Thoughts of failing again, of not being strong enough to fight for what she believed in, made her almost scream out of anger building up inside of her. She had failed again. Then she heard his voice again. "Why, Michaela? You had been so strong. Why did you do this to me? You just needed to follow your heart. Why did you shut me out?" She could feel his anger, his pain as it was her own. Looking up to the sky, she saw one single sunbeam shining down in to the distance. She gasped for air. She saw herself. Lying in the arms of the man she loved. Every thought, every dream she had came flowing back to her. The kisses they had shared, the tender words he spoke when he came to her in her dreams. Everything. Every feeling she ever had felt for this man came back to her in one single moment. "Sully," she whispered. "What did I do?"_

"_Please, Michaela. Come back to me. Fight. Please. Oh god, fight." She felt his warmth of his body on hers. His tears on her cheek, cold as ice. _

"_Michaela, please, don't leave me…."_

She felt his hand on her face, gently caressing it with his palm. His heartbeat pounding heavy in his chest, pumping new life in to hers. Her breathing was slow, but she felt it got stronger with each second. Her body was shivering but the same time feeling the warmth coming flowing back through her veins. Her breathing quickened again, beating in rhythm with his. Slowly, she tried to open her eyes. After several attempts, she finally managed to get a glimpse of his eyes which were covered with tears. Taking all her strength together, she managed to whisper. "Su…Sully."

He looked down at her. Seeing her eyes open, he squeezed her to his chest so close as he was trying to melt there bodies together. Crying for joy, Sully let his emotions free. She came back to him. She came back to _him_. "Oh god, Michaela. Oh god, you came back. I thought I had lost you forever." He rocked her back and forth. "Oh Michaela, I love you so much."

Michaela was too exhausted to reply but squeezed his and lightly, letting him now she was still with him. For now and for always.

The sky above them calmed down. The raindrops stopped falling, leaving only the reminders behind of what had happened. The spirits had heard their pleads and opened up the sky again, letting the moon shine down on the couple that had proved their love for each other in a way, only the power of their dreams had witnessed.

-----------------

Sully was covered in snow. His body shivering to the bones, freezing so badly that he feared every movement would rip him apart. But it was nothing compare to what he had experienced with Michaela. His heart was still speeding as it would race against time and space. The shock about what had almost happened was still clearly written on his face. His color almost matched the one from the white snow covering mother earth around him.

Sully looked up to the sky. The snowflakes were slowly disappearing, making way for the stars to shine bright and full of glory. The moon showed its face over the horizon, smiling, glimmering over the snow covered valley below.

Sully sighed, "the same moon, Michaela. I didn't want to leave you but I promise I'll see you soon. I'll be with you with every step you take, every breath you inhale and in every thought you have." Remembering the words of his brother, Cloud Dancing, he knew now, what he had meant with taking their journey together. They had shared their deepest fears. Fear of trusting completely, giving their hearts in to the gentle care of the other. They had overcome the fear of being alone with the knowledge now, that even in darkest times, their love would shine, making way to find the other blindly. "Our journey together has begun, Michaela," Sully whispered. "Our journey has begun."

Slowly, Sully rose to his feet carefully to not trip over in the now deep snow. His lean-to was not too far away but he had to act quickly now. His body was hypothermic and he needed to act fast before it was too late. Walking as fast as the snow would allow him, it didn't take long and he had reached his hideout. He moved quickly to get the fire going.

Slowly now, he shed himself of his clothing, changed in to dry ones and covered his body with a couple of blankets. Lying down by the warmth, he listened to the crackling fire, watching the embers glow, warming his body again. His eyelids were heavy and he gave in to the temptation to just close them for a minute, thinking about Michaela and wishing she would feel him by her side.

It didn't take long, and Sully fell into a deep, much needed sleep.

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The familiar scent of home was the first Michaela noticed. The fireplace that was lit in her room, fueling the air with warmth, made her feel safe and welcomed. She was wrapped in soft layers of cotton, providing her the comfort she needed.

Her body was still aching and she winced slightly. Inhaling deeply, she tried to relax. The world was spinning around her and she failed to put the pieces of the last night back together. The last she remembered was the hurt she had felt when William had showed her the telegram, then running away from the pain, the disappointment, ending up at the grave of her best friend Miriam. After that it was just blankness. The pieces of the puzzle to why she was feeling the way she was now, were missing. What had happened that made her whole body longing for warmness?

Inhaling a second time, Michaela let go. Pictures were coming back to her. _Lying in the arms of a man, feeling the ice cold tears on her skin. Feeling the soft caresses of a loving hand._ Then she shuddered. _It was completely dark and only cries could be heard in the distance. Heaven above closed over her and she felt each raindrop hurting like someone was ripping her heart apart with each drop. She couldn't breathe. _Michaela felt her pulse speeding up, her breath coming in short gasps. _She saw him. His deep blue eyes, filled with tears, looking down on her. Then she saw him kneeling on the ground, crying desperately. Why? Why?_ _The picture changed again. She was lying back in his arms. Feeling the tears again, but this time it didn't hurt anymore. They were tears of joy. "Michaela, you came back." She could see him. Sully. _She remembered. Every missing piece from the puzzle were put together. She remembered it all. "Sully," she whispered, feeling her tears swelling in her own eyes now. "Sully," she whispered again.

"I am here."

Turning her head towards the voice, she opened her eyes slowly, surprised to see him standing by the window, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "I am here," he repeated softly, moving instantly to her side. Taking her hand in his, he lightly kissed first her palm, then placed it against his warm cheek. "I am here Michaela. I will never leave you again when you need me. Never again." She felt his tears on her hand as he was holding on to it for dear life.

"Oh Sully. I remember. I remember it all. You saved my life. You…" but her sobs prevented her to speak any further. Caressing his other cheek with her free hand, she wiped his tears away. "You were there for me. Don't ever say again you weren't. Without you I wouldn't be here now," Michaela whispered.

Letting out a sigh, Sully kissed her hand anew. "I don't know what I would have done if I had lost you Michaela. I can't live without you anymore. I…"

"Sully, look at me," Michaela said softly and waited until she had his full attention. Looking him directly in his eyes, she tried to say what she was feeling in her heart. "I am so sorry Sully that I didn't listen to my heart sooner but I can't and don't want to fight the feeling anymore, yet I am still afraid to let them out. I wish I had the strength to let them show. I…" but Sully cut her off.

"Why are you so afraid Michaela? I had meant every word when I said I love you. I know you feel the same way, Michaela. Look what we have been through already. Doesn't that show you that we are meant to be together?" Shifting, Sully sat next to her on the bed, still holding her hands in his. "I would do anything to make you see that, but more I want is, for you to be happy. You…"

"You _make _me happy, Sully. More than you will ever know. I feel so secure when we are together but it's still frightening me, because I never felt like this before. You take me to places that alone I would never find. You gave my life new directions I never thought possible. I just don't know how we get there where I want us to be."

Smiling, Sully sighed with relief. "I am glad to hear that." Kissing her softly on her forehead, he added, "We will find a way, Michaela. I promise."

Realizing, that there was indeed no reason to fear, she pulled him back to her and gave him a loving, passionate kiss. Sully was surprised but didn't mind at all and responded with the same passion building up inside him.

Pulling away, Sully felt the familiar longings. How badly he wanted to be with her, to feel her warm skin against his, finally letting go, being free. He gazed back in to her eyes and was almost stunned when he detected the same longings in hers.

Sighing deeply, Sully closed his eyes. It was not the right time yet. Their time would come.

Rising from the bed, he moved around to the other side and settled down next to her again, stretching along her side. He moved one arm beneath her shoulder and pulled her on his chest. She willingly followed his lead and snuggled closer to him, circling her arm around his waist and listened to his steady breathing. Sully, lovingly caressing her back, let out a content sigh. "I love you Michaela," he whispered.

Before Michaela drifted of to sleep she replied without hesitation. "I love you too."

Relaxing for the first time completely, Sully soon followed her, falling in to a blissful slumber.

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"I told you Elizabeth, she is still asleep." Joseph stated but his wife was already in their daughters room, moving towards the bed. Sighing, Joseph followed close behind her, wrapping his arms around his wife as they watched Michaela in her sleep.

She was lying on the side with a pillow close to her chest, circling it with her arms. It almost looked like she was smiling, having a nice dream and she needed to clutch something to make it more real. But remembering the last 24 hours, Elizabeth was brought back to reality.

Snuggling closer to her husbands chest, she sighed. "It breaks my heart to see her like this, Joseph. I am so glad you found her. We are lucky that she is still with us."

Placing his chin on her head, Joseph replied. "I know. I don't know why I went there but I am glad I did. I had never been so frightened." Chuckling, he continued, "except maybe when she was born. I thought she was tearing you apart, screaming like you did."

Silence followed, each remembering the moment she was born but also, that they were giving a second chance to see their daughter still alive.

"She had been already stubborn before she was even born. She has a good head on her shoulder, Elizabeth. She will make it," Joseph added.

"But it was also us who brought her in this situation, Joseph, wanting her to fit in the society, marrying a man, who had nothing else in his head other then his carrier."

Elizabeth felt her husbands muscles tense, tightening his grip around her. Her own anger was rising and she felt the heat boiling within her, ready to be freed. "I still can't believe we were so wrong about him, Joseph. How could we have been so blind?" Elizabeth hissed.

In her sleep, Michaela turned away from her parents and settled back down again, clutching another pillow to her chest. Her breathing was calm and slow, inhaling deeply with each breath she was taking.

"I don't know Elizabeth. We all were blinded by him. The telegram says he is going to New York. His father pulled some strings now because he worked in my practice. His _fiancée _is waiting for him there."

Pausing, to calm his racing heart, Joseph released his wife and walked over to his daughter, gently brushing the hair out of her face. Kissing her softly on her cheek, he remained by her side a few moments longer, watching, as he had done so many times while she had been a little child, making sure everything was alright with his little girl.

Speaking low as not to waken her, he added with a determination in his voice, that made clear, nothing would stop him until William was brought to justice, hurting his daughter the way he did. "I know a few people in New York. I will make sure, he never sets a foot in one of the clinics over there and along the east coast. He doesn't deserve to practice at all."

Sighing, Elizabeth knew there would be nothing to stop her husband. Walking over to him, she clasped his hand and pulled him away. "Come, Joseph, as you said before, we need to let her sleep. We will talk in the morning. Your daughter is safe and sound sleeping in her bed again."

Following his wife across the room, Joseph turned again, looking at Mike before he closed the door behind them.

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Michaela stirred a little and instantly felt his arms tightening around her again, letting her know he was still by her side.

Sully was spooned against her back, holding her close to his chest, inhaling her sweet scent, feeling her warm body melting in to his. It felt so peaceful, so real.

Sully shifted a little to hold her even closer. He looked down at this beautiful woman lying in his arms. He knew it was more than love he felt for her. He couldn't explain it. Even if he wanted to, he just couldn't find the right words to express what he felt inside. She had captured him from the first moment she had come to him. With her, he felt complete. Never in his life was he more thankful to the spirits as now. They had guided him out of the darkness when all hopes were lost.

And now, each night, he knew that she will be there to comfort him, loving him. _That_, would stay in his heart forever, waking up each morning, remembering all the love they had shared…in peaceful dreams.

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_Alrighty...this time with no cliffhanger!!!!!!!...Huzzaahhh!!!! I hope you enjoyed the chapter!!!_


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

Michaela was wide awake, staring up the ceiling with a big smile on her face.

Last night had been incredible. Having him sleeping beside her, his strong arms circling around hers, his soft caresses across her face brought feelings out she never knew existed. But everything was surpasses by his smile. His smile was beyond her wildest dreams. So tender, sweet, powerful and intense at the same time that made her skin quiver, her knees tremble and her heart race. It made her forget everything around her. His incredible, deep blue eyes warming her soul whenever they locked with hers. The sweet moment they had shared, lying in each others arms, cuddled closely together had brought back the light in her eyes she had missed for such a long time.

Not even a few hours ago, she had been at the lowest point of her life. William had made her falling in to the deepest depths of the ocean, breaking her heart in to million pieces, never thinking of being able to recover from the pain she had felt. But to her astonishment she had realized that it was mainly herself that had left her in that disaster, William had just been the last piece missing to let the truth come to the surface. Her whole life she had tried to make everyone happy but never a moment had she thought about what she wanted out of her life, apart from becoming a doctor. Once she had achieved her dream, she had settled down, accepting the ways of the Boston society. Only the unexpected feelings towards Sully and his love to her had turned her world around. He gave her strength to be someone she had hidden her entire life: a passionate woman with needs and longings. Nobody had ever opened up to her as he had done. Showing her that there was nothing to be afraid of to show who she really was. Only through him had she found her happiness again and left her wanting for more. More of him.

She took a deep breath, still smelling him in every corner of the room, wishing she could go back to sleep, seeing Sully once again but her excitement wouldn't let that happen. She couldn't even close her eyes long enough to relax because as soon as she did, she could feel his breath on her face again that made her body tingle.

Turning around she let out a sigh. She couldn't get him out of her head, even if she would try, either his voice, his scent or his lips were haunting her. There was simply nothing she could think of that would make her forget him.

Then all of the sudden she felt the pain again she would go through every second when she thought about that one question that would leave her breathless. What is happening now? Both knew they were very much in love and couldn't life without the other but what would they need to go through now to finally be able to start a live together? Why couldn't they tell each other where the other one was? The only thing she knew was that even if he would be at the end of the earth, she would do everything to get to him. Her life would be worthless if she couldn't be with him.

Sighing again, Michaela let out her breath she didn't know she was holding. "Where are you Sully?"

Suddenly she felt a cold breeze on her cheeks. Looking up she saw that her bedroom window flew open. Rising from the bed, Michaela tried to walk as fast as her body would allow it towards the window. The wind was blowing hard and swirled leaves around as they would be dancing to their own rhythm. She closed it with a loud thud and lingered by the window just a moment longer, watching the sun rise over the bustling city beneath her.

Still feeling a little weak in her legs, she walked back across her room towards the bed again.

Out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a little piece of paper lying on the floor. Kneeling down she grabbed it and sat down on the edge of the bed. Curios, she unfolded the paper.

How could she have forgotten? She read the lines over and over again. Closing her eyes, she felt the excitement creeping in in every bone she possessed. Her breathing quickened. Could it be? It was she second time she felt this way after reading the specific words. Was that a sign? Could she trust her inner instincts? What would prevent her from doing it? She had told herself she wanted to start all over again and leave her past behind. Why not now? Besides her parents, nothing was keeping her in Boston. Looking back down at the telegram, she read it again.

_Dr. Burke,_

_I am to inform you that we accept your offer as our new doctor in town. To save you time and trouble, tickets are at the train station for the day you have requested.__  
Jake Slicker, mayor of Colorado Springs, Colorado_

"He is not going anyway now but they still need a doctor," Michaela whispered. The feeling was overpowering her. Something about Colorado Springs made her heart jump, her hands sweaty and her body tremble. Thinking about the possibilities she had, Michaela thought out loud. "It is worth a try. I could practice in my own clinic and start anew. Living my life the way I want it and maybe…" she sighed, squeezing her eyes shut tight, "maybe Sully was in Colorado Springs. Maybe this _is _the answer. He always says it: follow your heart and we will find each other." Michaela was beginning to get nervous. Could she really hope?

Remembering William's words about Colorado Springs, her heart stopped beating. He wanted to leave right after the wedding. "That is tomorrow!" Michaela exclaimed. Her heart was beating so wildly now she needed to press her hand against the chest. How she wished Sully was at her side now, asking him if she is doing the right thing. "Tonight," Michaela said to herself, "tonight I will go to him." Then she giggled. "When I can fall asleep that is."

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Sully had been quite awake for some time now. In the middle of the night, something had woken him and he had difficulties to fall back asleep. He had screamed out his frustration, punching the ground hard with his fist. Feeling her next to him, holding her close to his chest, Sully never wanted to wake up again. Michaela was like a sweet melody that haunted him. Her sweet perfume, her touch and her kisses were burned deep within him and he couldn't lay still for even a minute when he wasn't sleeping.

Deciding it would be worthless to stay here the whole day, Sully was on his way to his brother a while later. So much had happened the last time he was at the reservation that he felt the need to talk to Cloud Dancing again. Maybe he even had another vision and could tell him more about how and when they would finally be together.

That plagued him the most. They had so many chances already but none of them had ever mentioned where they were living or what they could do to find each other. And to be honest, most of the time he was distracted by her beauty. Everything from his mind disappeared and he could think of nothing else then being with her right in this moment. But he knew that they would have to do something soon, he didn't know how long he would still last only seeing her in his dreams. It was not enough anymore. He had already drawn plans for their house, with a big living room and a fireplace to cuddle up at night, holding her close or even making love to her. Then their bedroom. He already knew how everything was supposed to look like. A big, soft bed in the middle of the room that he would carve himself. Again, a second fireplace in their room, that would warm the air in cold nights even though he was pretty sure they would keep themselves warm anyway. Sometimes it was all he could think about and that frightened him. They had never talked about marriage. And Sully had to be honest with himself. So far, everything was just a dream. They had known each other only for a short period of time, meeting only in dreams when they were sleeping. But he couldn't shake the feeling of wanting to spend the rest of his life with her. She was his soul mate and she felt the same. He knew that now.

Finally coming to the edge of the reservation, Sully spotted Cloud Dancing a little further away from everyone else. He was sitting crossed-legs , his hands on his knees and his head was directed to the early morning sky. Sully knew what it meant and stopped a little further away, sat down on a tree stump and watched his brother as he was praying to the spirits.

It didn't take long and Cloud Dancing opened his eyes. Sully could detect a smile upon his face. Walking over to him, Cloud Dancing didn't even need to turn his head because he knew that Sully was already waiting for him.

"You look happy Cloud Dancing," Sully said as they shook hands.

Looking up at his friend, he noticed a gleam in his eyes. "I can say the same about you. The spirits have smiled upon you my friend."

Sully sat down in front of him. "Yeah, they did. It was pretty close though. I almost had lost her, Cloud Dancing. I don't know exactly what happened but I am glad that the spirits were there. I don't know what I would have done. She almost died in my arms last night."

Sighing, Cloud Dancing answered. "I know."

Sully was stunned. "How?"

"You know the spirits talk to me my friend. They did last night as well. I prayed for you as you have prayed. It seems they heard us. Everything is well." Pausing, he took a closer look at Sully. "But you didn't come here to talk about last night. Something else is bothering you my friend."

Shifting slightly, Sully took a moment to answer. "How do I know she will come? How do I know that I don't have to find her? Why can't I tell her where I am?" Sully was beginning to get nervous. He wanted to know the answers to his questions but on the other hand he was afraid to hear the truth. "I know I have to trust but it's getting more and more difficult. I can't live without her anymore."

Sully gazed back at his brother and saw him smiling widely. His heart skipped a beat. Impatiently, Sully couldn't hold back any longer. "What do you know Cloud Dancing? What did the spirits say?"

"She made a decision but is yet not sure," he simply answered. "The spirits would not tell me everything. She will come to you and will ask the same question: where you are. She has to make the decision on her own. The dreams you both have showed you enough to trust in what is in here," Cloud Dancing touched his chest. "The spirits have brought you together at the right time. If you tell her to come to Colorado Springs you make the decision for her. The spirits have their reasons. If you are meant for each other you will find a way. As you can see so far they were right."

Sully didn't know what to say. He trusted the spirits but could he really control himself in not letting her know? And furthermore, what decision did she make?  
Cloud Dancing saw the confusion and frustration in his brothers eyes. He knew he couldn't reveal everything what the spirits had told him but he knew what Sully was thinking. Choosing his words carefully, Cloud Dancing tried to remind his brother. "Sully, so far you both have followed your heart and you made her journey yours as well. Last night you proved what you would do for each other. Believe my brother! I am not allowed to say any more."

Growling from the back of his throat, Sully let his shoulders slump. He knew he needed to follow Cloud Dancing's advice. Sully trusted his brother with his life but sometimes he wished he wouldn't talk in riddles and followed the traditional ways.

Sully hadn't realized Cloud Dancing had already left him alone. Getting up on his feet, he breathed in the air, closing his eyes. He was relieved that the snow stopped falling during the night and since it was a beautiful warm day again the snow melted already. It was still early in the morning so he decided to start building on the house. He wanted at least to have the layout done to see what he all needed. But the main reason was to keep his mind off Michaela. He had to wait a whole day to finally see her again. Sighing, Sully knew it would be a long day ahead of him.

-----------

"Michaela you are _not _going to Colorado Springs on your own. In to that…that wilderness without protection," Elizabeth stated firmly. "I know William hurt you badly but running away is not a solution."

After Michaela had turned and turned from one side to the other in bed, hopelessly trying to fall back asleep, she had giving it up, had dressed herself slowly the best as she could and had joined her parents for breakfast.

Elizabeth and Joseph had been surprised to see their daughter out of bed already and to their astonishment, Michaela had looked better than she had for a long time. There was a glow around her that left them, especially her father, breathless. Her eyes were sparkling, her smile soft but radiant. Her movements still a little slow but determined and confident at the same time. To Joseph, his daughter simply looked at peace.

Curious about her appearance, they had questioned her why she seemed so happy. Michaela had hesitated at first but then didn't see a reason why she should not be honest, and had revealed her plans; moving to Colorado Springs.

Now, she was glancing at her mother. Michaela knew that she would have a hard time convincing her parents to let her go, making her own decisions but she was determined to go through with her plan.

"Mother, I am not running away. This is a great opportunity for me. I would have my own practice. I can treat people the way _I _want with no other doctors, especially male doctors who order me around just because I am a woman." Michaela wanted to continue but was already interrupted by her mother.

"How do you even know they will accept you? They are expecting William and not a woman as their new doctor. What do you intend to do if they want to send you right back with the next _stagecoach _or what ever it is they have out there?" Directing her gaze over to her husband, she commanded. "Joseph, please say something. Maybe your daughter is listening to you. She is in no shape to travel after what happened. It would be suicide to let her leave to this god forsaken place."

Eager, Michaela looked at her father. Their eyes met and instantly Joseph knew there was more. The gleam in her eyes betrayed her. Whenever his daughter spoke about her dreams her eyes were shining in new splendor, the same as they did now.

Joseph cleared his throat. "Mike, why don't you wait in the hallway and get yourself dressed nice and warm. I will join you shortly."

Michaela saw a small, faint smile on her fathers face and knew she had him on her side. Not saying a word more, she rose from the chair and left her parents alone.

"Michaela!" Elizabeth called but she was gone already. Angry, she turned her gaze back over to her husband. "Joseph, sometimes I just want to wring your neck. I was not done with her yet. What's gotten in to you?"

"Elizabeth," Joseph began, placing his hand atop hers, "didn't you see her? She looked real happy _and _healthy. It has not even been 24 hours ago when we thought we had lost her. You said yourself you wanted to see her happy. Maybe in going to Colorado Springs she found something she can believe in." Squeezing her hand slightly, Joseph stood and gave his wife a peck on her cheek. "Think about it while I take a walk with our daughter."

Dumbfounded, Elizabeth watched her husband leave. Why was he always right? She wanted her daughter to be happy but letting her leave and crossing the country on her own was different. How could he be so calm about that? His little girl?

Sighing, she rose as well and went towards the parlor. She needed to think.

"Ready, Mike?" Joseph asked as he reached his daughter, already dressed.

"How is mother?" Michaela asked with a sly smile on her face, knowing exactly what happened.

Joseph chuckled, "thinking as usual. Let us go. We have a lot to talk about."

Michaela smiled at him and linked her arm in her fathers as they set off for their walk.

--------

Their talk about Michaela's future had gone well. From the beginning, she knew her father would listen to everything she had to say but still was a little surprised when he even had encouraged her to go to Colorado Springs. Not only because of her carrier but also, because of her feelings she had towards Sully had he agreed that she should follow wherever her heart was leading her. Only then could she find out what she really wanted out of her life but further more, she finally could find out if that _Sully _was really in Colorado.

They had walked for quite a while and eventually had ended up at the train station, checking if the tickets were really waiting to be picked up the next day. To their surprise, they were. They made the arrangements for the following day and had taken a carriage back home since Michaela still felt a little tired from the last hours.

It was late afternoon when Michaela found herself lying in bed once again. From time to time, she would hear her parents through the sick walls of their home, arguing about her future. She had to grin now and then, listening to the arguments her father had and the arguments against them from her mother. Then it was quiet. She had heard no door slam which she took as a good sign.

Feeling her eyelids growing heavier the longer she was lying in bed, she turned towards the window, snuggled deeper in to the covers and closed her eyes. With a smile on her face, her last thoughts turned to Sully before she fell in to a blissful sleep.

-----------

Sully had worked all day and eventually he had giving in to the exhaustion. He had made a little lean-to where he started to build the house. The view from that spot was breathtaking and he wished Michaela could see it already with him.

Now, lying on the soft furs, he quickly willed himself to fall asleep, not giving his mind any chances to think about Michaela or the excitement overwhelming him he already felt deep within.

He didn't know how much time had passed until he sensed someone was watching him. Immediately he smelled her sweet scent and opened his eyes instantly.

Their eyes locked. Those twinkling eyes with just a hint of mischief. Those special eyes glinting lively as never before.

Sully was captured by her beauty anew, not able to move. Breathing hard. Every time again it felt like the first, seeing her in his first dream that seemed an eternity ago.

Neither one of them said a word, both lost in the moment. No, not one word or utterance was needed for no words could say more then a silent glance between them. They both knew it felt right.

Slowly, that warm, strong hand encasing hers, gently caressing every inch, memorizing. Slowly they move closer, the temptation too strong to resist. They both feel each other's intense love, the deep passion inside them. Neither Sully nor Michaela could fight against the love, the love pulling them closer until their lips touched, dancing the dance of endless love.

Time becomes unimportant. Passion coursing through them as their souls met anew in just one kiss, one touch.

Sully pulled her down with him, lying her form next to his. They were crashing. Crashing in to the unknown. Feelings impossible to describe yet knowing exactly how the other felt. They were floating higher and higher. His fingers glided through her silky hair down to her back. With feather light touches, he inflamed a new heated passion inside of them neither was prepared for yet.

Michaela moaned softly, closing the last distance between them, encircling Sully in her loving embrace. She could feel what she did to him and she gasp. It was all so new to her but exciting at the same time. An imaginary bond had formed between the two lovers and it was impossible to pull away from it. The powerful sensation of love overwhelmed them.

Needing air and to control his emotions, Sully pulled away. His face only inches away from hers, he breathed heavily, making Michaela tingle from the hot breath on her already flushed skin. She opened her eyes and instantly was lost in his deep blue eyes again. How was it possible? With only one glance, he reached in to her very soul.

Sully felt the distance closing between them again as she moved closer once more. "Wait," Sully whispered. "We need to…I need to…I want to show you something." Sully had placed his finger gently on her lips, trying to gain control again, keeping a distance. Seeing her eyes, her swollen lips, her rosy cheeks he was about to melt again but he couldn't let that happen. Not yet, even though it was just in their dream, Sully wanted to wait. "Oh god, Michaela. What you do to me," Sully breathed, gently cupping her cheek with one hand. "I can't wait to finally be with you but not here, not now." Sully could see her face turning red with is confession and he hoped he had not gone too far. But all his fears vanished when she took his hand in hers and softly kissed his knuckles. "I am sorry Sully. I don't know what comes over me when I am with you. But I have to confess as well that I can't wait to be with you. I want it to be real and not just in a dream we both have." Michaela's cheeks turned even more red now, telling him her inner feelings.

Sully smiled back at her. "There is no shame in telling me what you feel, Michaela. I feel the same overwhelming desire to be with you but I want to wait. I guess we just have to be a little more careful from now on." With the last words his smile turned in to a big grin. Michaela at first had been embarrassed but couldn't stop from laughing as well. She thanked him with a small but still gentle kiss on his mouth before she released him and rose to her feet. Just now, as she stood in front of him, looking down, she could _see _what she did do him and averted her eyes, but not without smiling immediately.

Sully took a couple of deep breaths, grinning from ear to ear until he as well rose to his feet. Uniting their hands again, he pulled her with her, excited as a little child. "Come on, I wanna show you something. The sun is about to set over the horizon."

-------

"It is so beautiful, Sully. Where are we?" Michaela was speechless. The view of the valley around her was breathtaking and swallowed every more word, washed away all thoughts inside of her.

Turning her head towards Sully, their eyes met again. Squeezing her hand, Sully simply answered, his voice full of love

"Home." Taking both of her hands, he sighed. "I know you have many questions as I have but we need to trust that we will find each other. The power of our dreams have brought us already this far. Just trust me Michaela. I know it is hard. God, _I _know this is hard not telling you where we are right now. Believe me, I want so badly to just say it but that is not the plan of the spirits. Please trust me Michaela. I know you made a decision and I know you made it from the bottom of your heart. Just follow it Michaela and I'll be here waiting for you!"

Tears of hope were running down Michaela's skin. Hope that she had made the right decision, hope that her heart was guiding her in the direction she wanted to go. No maps could tell her how she would get to this place, but with the most profound love of Sully, the trust he had in her, she knew she was on the right path. The right path that would lead her to the man she was destined to be with for now and eternity.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

Together, Michaela and Sully watched the sun settling behind the mountains. The horizon was lighting up, swirls of pink and orange fading to blue and purple, ending the day.

For the two lovers, wrapped in each others arms, it was not the end but a new beginning. A beginning for a shared future, leaving the past finally behind.

Stillness and beauty surrounded them, reverberating the calmness in both of their hearts, finding the missing peace they had searched for so long. Sadness and loneliness were fading away with the sun vanishing in the far distance. Both felt like being born again right on this spot. Above the clouds that shadowed the light from the twinkling stars, formed a magnificent glow, brightening up their world. Even though darkness began to fill the air, their eyes sparkled, reflecting their hope and dreams for a future beyond their imagination.

The night was lit again in the moment the moon showed its face, shining with all its glory. As it was arising, both, Michaela and Sully realized so was their love for each other and their faith in to a blissful future. Both seeing themselves as that light of each others lives.

The air was getting cold with just the moon shining down on them and Sully felt Michaela trembling. Pulling her closer to his chest, Sully whispered, "Com'n, there is one more thing I wanna show you and it'll be nice and warm. You're freezing."

Their eyes met for the first time since they had watched the sunset and both immediately saw each other in a different light. Both had giving themselves completely to the other, letting their souls and hearts mingle. Their future together was written in that moment the sun set down. Both knew that nothing will ever separate them again. They were one. Sealing it with a passionate and promising kiss, Sully took her by the hand and lead them towards his lean-to again.

Facing the valley, Sully sat behind Michaela, her back resting against his chest. He encircled her in his arms, his chin lying on her shoulder, his cheek touching hers. With Sully's body lovingly protecting hers from the cold breeze, Michaela immediately felt her body warming again. Not only his arms but also the blanket of warmth that covered her heart, made her feel whole for the first time.

Breaking the silence, Michaela spoke first, her voice low as not to disturb the peacefulness. "What did you want to show me?"

Sully's pulse began to quicken. The time had come to reveal his wishes. Even though both knew where they wanted to be, no one had spoken it out loud. Giving Michaela a soft kiss on her cheek, Sully directed his gaze towards the meadow a little further away. Breathing in deeply, he finally answered. "When you asked me earlier where we are, I told you…"

"Home," Michaela continued. "I remember," she whispered.

Sully shifted a little to be able to look directly in her eyes, holding both of her hands in his own.

"I said home, cause I am hoping once we're able to start a life together, it would be here." Sully was holding his breath. He didn't say the words he badly wanted to say but he hoped Michaela would realize the meaning, the intention behind these important words.

Michaela just stared at Sully. She couldn't say a word. Sully saw her hesitation and began to wonder if he had scared her. Maybe she wasn't ready for that yet. Sully began to panic. She just kept staring at him. He felt her hands getting sweaty. Maybe it had been a mistake to be so forward. He had thought she felt the same way about him. He had been so sure.

"I am sorry, Michaela," Sully whispered, let go of her hands and avoided her eyes. "I shouldn't have said that. I know it's too early to talk about…"

"No," Michaela interrupted him. Just now she realized what he must be thinking. Cupping his cheek with one hand, she forced him to look back at her. His eyes were still sparkling but for the first time she noticed fear in them as well. Slowly, she moved closer to him again, placing a soft kiss upon his lips. Sully could taste her salty tears and pulled away again. Surprised, he asked, "Michaela? What?…," he stopped. Seeing her eyes filled with tears but so loving at the same time it just took his breath away.

She smiled broadly. Finally she could say what his heart yearned to hear. "Without you there is no happiness in my life. I have never known love until I met you. Your love touched my heart so deeply, Sully. Sometimes I miss you so much now since the first time I laid my eyes on you that it hurts." Sully was melting. His fear of losing her vanished as quickly as it came. With his thumb he wiped away her tears. Grinning, he asked, "you mean?" He didn't even have to finish his sentence. Michaela already nodded her head. "Oh Sully, I…"

"Michaela! If you want to leave for that little town tomorrow, you better start packing." Elizabeth was already in the room, followed by Joseph again. He watched his wife walking across the room back and forth, trying to gather every little piece she could find what their daughter would need. That was typical. She tried to hide her nervousness and sadness at the same time. Joseph just stood with his arms crossed, leaning against the wall, chuckling.

No one had noticed how Michaela was gasping for air. She tried to control her breathing from that intense and magical dream she had. Sully had known right from the start what she needed and she had been so close in answering that she was willing to take it. But her mother had interrupted them. She woke up immediately and didn't even had a chance to say good bye.

But one thing she knew for sure. She had seen it in his eyes that he trusted her and it gave Michaela the strengths to follow her plans. Colorado Springs was the answer to all her questions. She had no doubt anymore. Sully was waiting for her. Therefore she couldn't be mad at her mother and in all honesty, she was right. She still needed to pack her belongings. Her new life was starting tomorrow and she couldn't wait to finally step on the train that would take her to the man she would marry someday. She had been sure that this was what Sully tried to tell her. He didn't say the words but his look said it all. Michaela was glad he hadn't ask the question she longed to hear. This should not be done in a dream but in reality when she really could feel his touch, his kisses, his breath on her face. She knew this was silly. How long did they know each other? It had been barely weeks but she knew this was right.

Taking a deep breath, she finally had enough control to get out of bed but her smile stayed. It was useless to even try to hide it. Her eyes would betray her anyway.

Just now, Michaela noticed her parents. Her father was still standing at the wall, with a smirk on his face, watching her mother swirl around her bedroom. She already had the travel bags out and was trying desperately to fill them. As her father, Michaela knew her mother as well. She always needed to do something to hide her true feelings.

Michaela watched her with amusement for a while, chuckling to herself. That was typical her mother. Right here, right now.

Sighing, she finally said. "Mother, please. This is too much. How do you think that will fit in the small bags? I can't take my whole closet with me."

Looking over to her father, she saw him rolling his eyes. "You know her Mike, she won't stop until there is not even room for air in the bags anymore." Then he saw her pleading eyes and understood.

Joseph coughed slightly, "Elizabeth, wasn't there something you wanted to tell your daughter? I imagine she would like to pack her own bags."

Dropping the dress she held in her hands, Elizabeth turned around. Taking a deep breath, she tried to prevent her tears from falling down her cheeks. "I know you have to do it, Michaela but I cannot imagine I won't have any daughters around anymore. You will be so far away. It can be dangerous and you will be all alone. What if something happened to you? We will never know anything in time and your father…."

Joseph coughed again. "We have been through that Elizabeth. It is her choice and we have to accept that," and smiled towards his daughter.

Sighing again, Elizabeth couldn't control her tears any longer. "I will see you tomorrow morning. I will go to bed now." Not turning around she passed Michaela and Joseph and left her daughters bedroom, closing the door behind her.

Joseph closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around his daughter. "Don't worry, Mike, she will get over it. She understands why you need to do this. She just can't show it. You know her," her father said calmly.

"Thank you father. I sure will miss you and mother." Moving out of his embrace she walked across the room towards her large window, leaning against the frame with her head.

"Mother is wrong, you know. I won't be alone," Michaela whispered, staring up to the stars. The same stars Sully was watching now.

She didn't hear her father until he leaned her against his chest. "I know. I forgot to tell her about that part," Joseph chuckled. "Then she would lock you in your room. That is for sure."

Sighing, Michaela went on as if she hadn't heard her father. "I am absolutely sure now that he is in Colorado Springs, watching the same stars, thinking about me as I am thinking about him. Even though we are worlds apart, I know he is the right one for me."

Joseph glanced form his daughter up to the stars. He was still unsure of what to think of all this. He didn't have any explanations, just the trust in his daughter. As a doctor he always needed facts, seeing everything right in front of him to make decisions. Deciding about right or wrong, sometimes even about life or death. Now he just could follow his instincts and trust in Michaela's words. Nothing else. Usually it was enough for him but this time it was even more difficult.

"I know I need to trust you Mike but this is not easy for me. My little girl is crossing the country on her own, starting a clinic and being in love with a man I don't even know. What if I see him in the near future and I don't like him at all?" After a short time, he added. "How do you know he is in Colorado Springs?"

He could feel her body shaking slightly. "Mike? How do you know?" he asked again.

"Because I think I was there. Just before you came in, I had a dream again. I was with him and he showed me this beautiful place. I just know he is there father. I wish I could explain but I can't. Please trust me and I do believe you will like him."

Searching for her eyes, Joseph smiled. "I do." He gave her a soft kiss on her head and told her, "you better start packing now and I think I should check after your mother. See you in the morning."

Michaela was never as happy as right now to have a father who was understanding and loving as him. "Thank you father, for everything." He winked back at her and couldn't resist to reply before he closed the door. "Pleasant dreams, darlin'."

He was gone before she had a chance to throw a pillow at her father. Sometimes he was unbelievable but she loved him nonetheless. How could she not? He had been always there for her.

Taking a deep breath, Michaela began to collect her belongings. It would be difficult to leave so many things behind but she knew she always could come back for a visit. Then she remembered her father's words. "In the near future," she said out loud. Were they already planning to visit her soon? She needed to ask him tomorrow. Now she needed to get ready. She still wanted to sleep and hopefully her dreams would take her back to Sully.

------------

Back in their bedroom, Joseph was surprised to see that no lights were lit anymore. Sighing he crawled in to bed and moved closer to his wife, spooning her back against his chest. He knew she was still awake and hoped they could have a final talk before their daughter would leave the next morning. He was about to start, when he heard his wife's muffled voice. "We can't let her go Joseph. Not like this."

"Yes, we can. We have to. She would not be happy here. She needs to find herself. She cannot do this when she stays in Boston," Joseph whispered close to her ear.

"How do you know that?" Elizabeth asked.

"I have seen it in her eyes," he simply replied.

She turned around to look into her husbands eyes. Even though it was dark, the window with the moon shining brightly through it, she could make out his features.

Joseph caressed her cheek lovingly. "Believe me, I am as sad as you but we have to be strong for her. She can't see us tomorrow with tears streaming down our faces. It would make her departure even more difficult. I trust Mike with her judgments. She is doing something she believes in so why don't you believe in her?"

Elizabeth was amazed every time again that her husband knew exactly what she needed to hear. Kissing him softly on his cheek, she smiled. "Thank you Joseph. What would I ever do without you?"

"You would probably lock Mike in her room and never let her out again," Joseph chuckled, remembering having said the same words to his daughter. Lying back on his back, he cuddled his wife close to his chest. "I know everything will turn out the way it is supposed to be." Placing a warm kiss on her forehead, he let out a sigh. "Good night, Elizabeth. I love you."

She snuggled closer to her husband and held him tight. "I love you too, Joseph Quinn."

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Finally, Michaela put her last personal item in her travel bag. It was the family portrait of her fathers last birthday. Everyone had come to that big event and a photographer had insisted on taking a picture of the whole family. She pressed it against her chest. Her last reminder of Boston. Neatly, she placed in her bag. Scanning her bedroom once more, she hoped she had everything she needed. Satisfied, she crawled back in to her bed again. This was the last night she would be sleeping in the soft mattress. It would be the last night waking up in Boston for a long time.

Exhausted from the day, she curled on one side and closed her eyes. Tomorrow, she thought. Tomorrow she would be boarding the train to Denver. From there, she needed to take the stagecoach that would lead her to Colorado Springs. To Sully. With this last thought, the last dream came back to her again…

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She had found Sully still at his lean-to, lying on his side. His heavy breathing indicated that he was sleeping deeply. But to her surprise, as soon as she laid her body next to his, he opened his eyes. Smiling, he said happily, "I was hoping you would come back to me. I missed you already. What happened?" Sully placed one arm beneath her, rolled her on his chest and covered their bodies with a soft blanket again.

Not wanting to risk a long conversation, she just answered. "I woke up and I couldn't fall back asleep." She didn't want to lie to him, but there would be time to talk about everything else they wanted and needed to know from each other. Right now she just wanted to savor his warmth and his nearness.

Sully chuckled, "well, I am glad you are back. Now I can sleep. How about you?" When he gained no reaction from Michaela, he looked down at her and saw she was already peacefully sleeping. Moving a strain of hair out of her face, he whispered, "I love you, Michaela," and placed a sweet kiss on her soft hair. Closing his eyes, it didn't take long for him to fall into a blissful sleep as well.

Michaela watched Sully most of the night once she had been wakened by a strange feeling. Somehow she had felt deep within her that this was the last dream they would share for a while, maybe even forever. She didn't know why she felt this way. She just knew that she didn't want to say goodbye. Her heart told her, she would always remember these dreams and they would be with her forever but the time had come. What did Sully say about the spirits? They had guided them so far but now they needed to make it on their own. They knew enough know to trust. Trust that they would find each other.

Caressing his cheek softly with the back of her hand, she whispered, "I don't really want to say goodbye but I can feel it, Sully. This will be the last dream we will have. This will be the last night we shared. But there will be many more to come, just not only in dreams anymore." Choking back her tears, she continued. "I don't want to lose you. I never want our love to end. I love you from the bottom of my heart, Sully. You make me feel so special as no one had done before." She paused, letting her heart find the right words he would remember later. "I will never forget you. Remember me day and night and I will remember you forever and ever until we see each other again. I will remember every tender kiss you gave me, every single word you spoke, every time you stroked my hair. I will remember everything about you! This is not the end, it is just the beginning." Michaela wiped away her tears streaming down her face now. "I love you, Sully," and she placed a last, soft, sweet kiss on his cheek, lingering a while longer, feeling his warmth shooting through her body. With a last glance at Sully, she was gone.

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"Do you have everything now, Mike? We need to leave. Your train is leaving in less then an hour and you don't want to miss it, do you?" Joseph stood in the middle of the room and watched his daughter running in circles to see if she had forgotten anything. "Mike!," he tried again. This time, Michaela turned around and smiled from ear to ear. "I am ready father, we can leave now."

"Not yet. It arrived Joseph. Just in time," Elizabeth held a small package in her hand as she entered her daughters room.

"Splendid!" Joseph grinned. Then looking back over to Michaela, he announced. "You are missing one piece, Mike. I ordered it yesterday with the hope it would still be delivered today. I guess the extra money helped."

Elizabeth handed her the package. "We believe that you will need that. I am, _we _are very proud of you, Michaela. I know with your determination you will manage just fine. Open it, we don't have much time before we need to leave."

Not only Michaela had tears in her eyes but so did her parents. She knew that this must be something special otherwise they wouldn't have done it in the last minute.

Slowly, she unwrapped her little present and as soon as she saw what was lying in her hands, she gasped. She ran her hand over the metal back and forth. It was beautiful, just perfect. Every letter was done with love, she could feel it when her fingers were running over the little curves, the edges that were done with such care. "My own shingle," she whispered. "Dr. Michaela Quinn, MD. It is beautiful." Wiping away her tears she looked at her parents. Her father had laid an arm around her mothers shoulder, both standing with own tears falling down their cheeks. "Thank you so much. I don't know what to say."

"You don't need to say anything, darlin'. I have been waiting for that day to come. My daughter will have her own clinic. My little girl," Joseph said. "We love you Michaela. Please write as often as you can," Elizabeth continued.

Embracing her parents one after the other, she knew they would still have time at the depot to say good bye to each other. Therefore she said excitedly, "we need to go. I don't want to miss the train otherwise I don't need the shingle after all." Laughing, her father took the luggage and followed his wife and daughter out of the room.

-----------

The time had come. Elizabeth, Joseph and Michaela arrived at the station just in time. With the ticket in her hand and her bags already in her private compartment, the only thing left now was finally saying good bye to her parents.

"I will write as often as I can, mother. I promise. I love you," Michaela said under her tears. Elizabeth couldn't wait any longer and embraced her daughter. "I love you Michaela. Please take care of you. We will come to visit soon. Your father and I already talked about it." Michaela looked at her father and saw the wink he gave her. "She would have come with the next train if I hadn't promised her we will come soon," but Joseph wiped his tears away as well. "It is hard seeing you leave but I know this is what you want." Michaela squeezed her mother a last time before she rushed in to her fathers waiting arms. "I love you father. As long as you and mother love me, I know I will make it." Michaela couldn't control her tears any longer and let them run down freely. "We will always love you, Mike. No matter what. You are so strong. Never let anyone tell you something different. Colorado Springs should be lucky to have such a great doctor." Pausing, he whispered, for her ears only. "Sully is a lucky man."

Michaela moved out of his arms and saw he smiled his special smile just for her. "I love you, Mike."

Then they heard the whistle of the train. "It's time now, Michaela. You need to go," Elizabeth said, moving next to her husband.

Michaela sighed. With a heavy heart, she took a last glance at her parents. Arm in arm they watched her board the train. Waving a last time, she took the few steps in to the train as the door closed behind her. She was on her way.

Walking towards her compartment, she didn't witnessed anything what was happening outside. She didn't hear her parents calling after her, their faces turning white as they tried desperately to tell their daughter that someone had boarded the train with her they all wanted to forget…William.

* * *

_Yeah, a cliffhanger again...*whistle*....I wish everyone a happy, healthy new Year!!!!!! May all your DREAMS come true!!!_


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Elizabeth stood frozen, watching the steam as it covered the last evidence of the train as it began to vanish from the station behind the thick cloud. Never had it occurred to her that she would need to think about William again. She had banished him from her thoughts and mind but now it was too late. William was on the same train as their daughter and they hadn't stop it from happening. They had lingered at the spot just a little longer in the hope to get a last glimpse of Michaela but instead, they had seen that one person who never should have entered their lives.

Joseph had been furious, asking every conductor when the next train to Denver would leave. To his and his wife's disappointment, they had found out due to the snow blizzard high up the mountains, that this had been the last train for the next days. Elizabeth had a hard time controlling her husband. Every time he had ask, he had been ready to jump at the men's neck, who were trying desperately to explain the situation why no trains would be even going near Denver. Joseph had offered every person extra money to find them a way of taking at least him to Denver but it had been hopeless. With a heavy heart and the greatest frustration they had left the station. At the end, both Joseph and Elizabeth had realized there was nothing they could do.

Before they had headed home, they sent a telegram to Denver, hoping Michaela would receive it before it was too late.

The next days would go by very slowly, their minds and thoughts only directed on Michaela, praying she would be physically strong again to handle the situation with William. They had no doubts that she would stand up against him, giving him no second thoughts but she had been still exhausted and the train ride would be straining enough already.

-------------

Michaela had finally reached her compartment just in time to get a last glimpse of the train station. Letting her eyes roam over the crowd, she hoped to see her parents for the last time. Unfortunately, the steam had covered almost most of the station and it was impossible to see anything.

Sighing, Michaela watched as the train passed by the familiar scenery, the city, that had been her home for so many years. A single tear rolled down her cheek as Boston was getting smaller and smaller until it finally vanished completely. She was on her way to Colorado Springs. This thought alone brought back the smile on her face. Yes, she had left her home, but she was about to enter her new life. A life that would bring her more joy she could ever imagine.

So lost in thought, she didn't hear the door to her compartment first opening and then closing again. Only when she heard someone cough, she turned around, gasping for air, her face turning white as soon as she saw who stood in the middle of the room.

"Hello Michaela."

The words were stuck in her throat. She swallowed hard, one hand gripped the window board while the other pressed strongly against her chest. Staring in to the cold eyes, she thought she was going to stop breathing any second.

"Aren't you glad to see me, Michaela?" William asked with a smirk on his face. Seeing no reaction from her, he moved to one of the chairs, sat down and crossed one leg over the other.

With her eyes, Michaela had followed his every move and suddenly was brought back to a similar situation she once had with William. He had been sitting in of her the wingback chairs up in her room, in the same position as he was sitting now. Holding his head up high and his arms lying on each armrest. Back then, she had been still so insecure about herself, asking him the question she had longed to ask for so long but had backed down again. At that time, she had thought she knew him so well but was brought back to reality on that same day, as he had handed her the telegram from his father.

Feeling her anger already boiling within her, she promised herself that this time, it would end differently.

Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a short moment, secretly wishing it was just a dream. Opening them again, she still saw him sitting in front of her, the same smile on his face, thinking he would gain the mastery again. But not this time.

Gaining control over her emotions, she stood straighter. Not caring about small talk, she came straight to the point. "What are you doing here, William? I thought you were on the way back to your _fiancée_?"

Not breaking the contact with his eyes, Michaela waited for a reaction. She saw him flinch and knew she had hit the nail right on the head.

William was surprised. He had never seen Michaela quite like this before. There, in front of him, stood a woman who seemed to have enough self-confident to stand up against him for the first time. She had straightened her back, determined to show him, she was stronger than he thought and never losing eye contact. She showed no weakness at all. For the very first time, William had doubts.

His hand tightened the grip around the armrest, trying not to let his body language betray him. It had hit him harder then he expected, seeing Michaela again and telling her about his situation, never being able to practice medicine where he wanted to do it the most, in New York. Then losing his fiancée shortly after but like Michaela, he was determined not to show any weakness. As natural as possible, he crossed one leg over the other again. Leaning back in his chair, he finally answered. "She left me. You can thank your father for that _and _that I am sitting on this train. He made sure I would never have a chance to practice in New York." He knew with mentioning her father, he would gain a reaction from her. Trying to hide the hurt he felt, having lost everything in his life he had worked so hard for, he continued. "I guess he didn't expect it to happen so soon after I saw his face when I entered the train. Just because of wanting to protect the honor of his little girl he didn't think about the consequences. He must be furious right now." Still, no reaction from her. Thus he added. "We are in this situation just because of you Michaela Quinn. If you hadn't been so naïve, we wouldn't be here." Staring in her eyes he waited. She would break down soon.

Never could he have been more wrong.

"No matter what my father did, I know he made the right decision. Tell me William, how does it feel to not be able to do what you love the most? This is exactly what you wanted me to. Giving up practicing medicine. Tell me how does it feel, to lose the one you loved?" Sighing, Michaela added. "To be honest, I don't even want to know William. I left my old life behind and I am about to start a new one. I…"

"In Colorado Springs, Michaela? No one will accept you as their doctor. You are a woman. When do you finally understand, that this is not a place for a woman, especially out there." William had enough. "That had been always your problem, Michaela. Right now you want show me that you are strong but you are not. You are still weak and that will never change."

Michaela was shocked. For the first time she saw past his lies, his arrogance and was stunned what she saw in front of him. An insecure William. She could see it in his eyes. Never before had she noticed it. Every time, she had tried to let her true self shown through, he had stopped her, making her feel insecure again with one word. She was just a _woman_! But he didn't know how strong she really could be. Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she finally was able to tell him different. "You are wrong William. I know what you are trying to do but this is not working anymore. It took me a long time to realize that it was you who made me feel miserable. You always knew exactly what you needed to tell me so I won't leave you. I can't believe that I had been so blind."

William wanted to interrupted but Michaela gave him no chance. "I _will _be their doctor. With you there or not, I don't care. I am a good doctor, William. Compare to you, I care about people. You are only interested in money and your name. This won't work in a town as Colorado Springs. They will see past your lies as I do."

William was dumbfounded. Never had she raised her voice against him nor had she stood up to herself. He had to realize she was different! She was finally the woman he had secretly wished for her to be. A passionate woman with her own mind.

Looking at Michaela, he started to regret how he had acted towards her in their relationship. If he had given her more freedom and respect, she might have shown her true personality and they would have been married by now. But that was wishful thinking. He knew know that this would have never happened. _She _wouldn't have let it happen. For the very first time he admired her for fighting what she believed in but the realization came to late. The realization, that he cared for her more then he ever would admit. But there was no turning back now. He had lost everything just because he always had thought about himself, never wasting any minute of his life caring about other people. Simply, it was not her fault but his. His life was simply a mess at this moment and he was to embarrassed to let it show.

Sighing, William rose from the chair. "I wish you luck, Michaela. I am sorry how I have treated you. Maybe someday you can forgive me. I will not be in your way." Taking his coat, he walked towards the door. Opening it, he turned a last time around. "Colorado Springs will get a fine doctor."

Their eyes met again and Michaela knew he was telling the truth. This would be the end. Before she could reply, he was out of the door, leaving a speechless Michaela behind…

---------

For the past hours, Sully had been lying wide awake, watching as the faint glow on the horizon brought the promise of a new day. The warm sun breathing new life, awakening the majestic world around him, draining away all evidence of the stunning colors escalating. To Sully, each new morning, was a world that they had created by their love. Where her eyes, like the golden sun, would light his way through the darkness of the night in to a bright new day again and again.

But as the wind rustled the leaves around him, sailing through the grass, he felt a shiver run down his spine.

Sully remembered every word Michaela had spoken to him in their last dream. _I don't really want to say goodbye but I can feel it, Sully. This will be the last dream we will have. This will be the last night we shared. _First, he had been scared to death again. She was leaving him. But then it had dawned upon him. She was right. The spirits had shown them their path they needed to follow. Now it was up to them if they trusted each other enough to let go. Smiling, he thought back to her last words to him.

_I will remember every tender kiss you gave me, every single word you spoke, every time you stroked my hair. I will remember everything about you! This is not the end, it is just the beginning. _He couldn't have said it any better. This is how he felt. She seemed to be everywhere when she was nowhere to be seen. There would be nothing, no force, that would hinder him from thinking about her every minute of the day. The mesmerizing smell of her fragrance, the touch of her kiss on his face, the soft words spoken just by her eyes would be always in his heart and memories. These were the reasons that brought him back to life each morning over and over again.

"The time as come my brother."

Only for a second, Sully had been startled but then he was not surprised at all, when Cloud Dancing was almost standing next to him. He was used to seeing him coming out of the blue and then vanishing again as quickly as he had come.

Sully rose to his feet and shook his brothers hand. "It's good to see you." Sighing he added, "but I am not sure if I wanna know what you're about to tell me."

"Do not worry, my friend. This time I come with good news. The spirits have spoken to me again." Cloud Dancing watched as Sully's face turned in to a big grin, his eyes reflecting new hope and excitement.

"She is about to make peace with her past but she needs you. With meeting you, her life had changed in an instant, more then you can imagine at this point. She found out who she really is. There is no doubt in her heart where she wants to be but it frightens her at the same time."

Cloud Dancing placed his hand on Sully's shoulder, smiling. "Only you can take away her fears, my friend. She is ready! The time for you both has come to takt the last step together."

By now, Sully knew better then to ask any more questions. He would not get the answers he was hoping for anyway. Thus, he shook his brothers hand again and watched him nod his head, a slight smile on his face. "Thank you, Cloud Dancing."

"This was the last time the spirits have spoken. Everything is said what needed to be said." Pausing, he added, "Go to her, my friend."

Sully smiled. Everything would be alright. He could see it in Cloud Dancing's eyes. What the spirits didn't allow him to say, was clearly written on his face. They would be together soon.

-----------

Her compartment was dark, except for a few candles lit in the corner of the small room. The dancing shadows on the walls made Michaela feel at home. She missed the fireplace at night, staring in to the flames, reflecting her thoughts from the day.

This time it was thinking about William that kept her awake. Never had she thought she would see him again. It felt strange knowing that he was still so close. Maybe he was just in the next room. She didn't know. But furthermore, one thought came creeping back in her mind again and again. She had been so naïve the last years that she almost was ashamed of herself. Looking back, she couldn't remember one single day she had been completely happy. No. Either it had been William, telling her to act like a real lady or people form the hospital, trying to take control over her again. Most of the time she had the support of her parents, well from her mother to be exact. Her father had always been by her side. But throughout the years, she had noticed it was not enough anymore. The more she thought about it, the more it dawned upon her that her dreams with Sully were exactly what she had missed. Finding comfort in a loving embrace, in strong arms gently carrying her away from the days trouble. Her father had tried everything and she wouldn't want to miss one single moment of it, but Sully gave her what she needed.

Sighing, Michaela began to shiver. In their dreams everything seemed so simple. She had not been afraid to be close to Sully, kissing him or being kissed by his wonderful lips. It had felt incredible every moment she had spent in his welcoming arms. Every time, after each dream, Michaela could still feel the touch, his hot breath and his lips on her skin. Back then, she wouldn't have permitted her mind taking over again. She just wanted to treasure every moment and wouldn't have admitted, that the first feeling of doubt was lying over her heart already. But now, the closer she was getting to Colorado Springs, the more she thought about it. How would their reaction be when they would see each other for the first time? Would she shy away or let her heart speak?

Swallowing, she turned towards the small window. No stars tonight. Thick clouds prevented the moon shining, lightening up the sky. "Will you be happy Sully?" she spoke out loud.

"Of course I'll be, Michaela." Sully whispered and sat down on the small bed.

Michaela felt the bed dip under his weight and not a moment later she found herself in his loving arms again. "I missed you. I thought I won't see you again."

Sully cradled her in his lap and swayed back and forth. "I am here." Taking her face in his hands, he wiped away a few tears rolling down her cheeks. "I couldn't leave you without saying a proper goodbye." Sully grinned and before she could reply, his lips were claiming hers already in a hungry kiss. Without any thoughts left in her mind, Michaela responded. Moaning, she opened her mouth up to him. Sully wasted no time and his tongue was on it's way, exploring every inch it discovered.

Sully soon found out Michaela was only wearing her nightgown and more skin was exposed then ever before. Letting his hands glide down her naked arms, he felt her shivering. Looking in her eyes again, he saw nothing but love. Smiling, he laid down next to her, his back against the wall. She reflected his smile and started kissing his chest where his shirt laid open. It felt so wonderful and Michaela lost every train of thought. It felt so right lying in his arms and letting their passion guiding them.

Sully didn't know what was happening to him either. She was bold as never before and he didn't know if he would have the willpower to stop himself tonight. It made it worse to know that this would be his last dream as well, seeing her for the last time. For how long he didn't know and right now it was not the time to think about their goodbye. They were together right here, right now.

He felt her hand beneath his shirt, her warm touch caressing his back. He was breathing harder and harder and couldn't keep his hands away from her flesh either, exploring unknown territory. She let him touch her where he had never dared to touch her before. She felt so soft beneath his fingers as he graced over her breasts, only covered by the thin fabric of her nightdress.

Overcome by their emotions, the heat, the passion began to overrun them. She wrapped her arms around him, pressing his body closer and closer until she could feel every part of his body touching hers. She was losing control. The kisses seemed to go on forever, never breaking contact in the fear of waking any minute.

Sully moved his mouth form hers and nuzzled her neck, tasting her skin with his tongue. Both were panting heavy now but neither wanted it to end. For the first time it seemed they trusted each other with no reservations and were letting go completely.

Slowly, Sully backed away a little until his back was touching the wall again. He hadn't realized that he had covered her body with his completely already. He swallowed hard and his breathing came in short gasps. Moving in to a sitting position, he lifted his shirt over his head and threw it careless on the ground.

Instantly, Michaela ran her hand up and down his chest, her fingers playing with the soft curls. Sully moved back down again and captured her lips again. Moaning into his mouth, she moved her hands over his back, starting first from his broad shoulders down to his slender waist and further down to his buttocks, squeezing it slightly with her fingertips.

Sully stopped his movements and let go of her lips momentarily only to be pushed back down by her again, almost demanding to be kissed again. "Oh Michaela, what you do to me," Sully breathed, before she kissed him again that left himk breathless.

A sudden movement of the train made their bed shaking hard and in one swift moment, they found themselves on the hard wooden floor, Michaela landing on top of him.

Their passionate moment was broken as both couldn't stop bursting in to laughter. "I think the spirits try to tell us something. Are you hurt?" Sully asked between gasping for air and the intense laughter. "No, I had a soft landing compare to you," Michaela chuckled.

"You are so beautiful," Sully whispered, cupping her cheek in his large but gentle hand.

Michaela looked down, avoiding his eyes. Concerned, Sully gently brought her face back to his so he could see into her eyes. "Did I say something wrong?"

Michaela blushed, "No you didn't. I…It's just…"

"Tell me, Michaela. You know you can tell me everything, don't you?" For the first time Sully's thoughts turned back top the words of his brother. _Only you can take away her fears. She is ready! _The realization hit him hard. Taking a deep breath he assured her, letting his heart speak for him. "You are my heart, my life, my everything Michaela. It is cause of you I can drift to another world four hours and never want to return. All I ever wanted was to find a love so true, so pure," smiling, he continued, "so perfect. Love that would last forever. All I ever wanted, it seems, was you. Now that I have found you I am complete. I love you, Michaela no matter what. We will take it nice and easy. I promise."

Michaela felt her tears dwelling in her eyes. Without a word he understood. Sighing deeply, she kissed him softly on his lips. "I don't know what I did to deserve you but I am glad the spirits send you to me. I love you so much."

Deciding that the bed would be more comfortable, Sully lifted Michaela in his arms and gently placed her down on the soft mattress again. Lying back down next to her, she cuddled closer to him, gently caressing his chest with her fingertips.

Sully chuckled again. Lifting her head, Michaela looked at him, puzzled. "Why are you laughing again?" she asked, a small smile on her face as well.

"Well, if the spirits are so clever, why did they allow me to come back to you? I mean I am not blind. I know we're on a train." Turning his head, he met her gaze and couldn't resist asking, now with a big grin on his face, "where are we going?"

Michaela gave him a passionate and hungry kiss again before she answered, "home!" Seeing the gleam in his eyes, Michaela moved closer and whispered something into his ear. Sully's eyes widened and squeezed her body tight against his, kissing her with all he possessed.

The moon finally showed it's face again, pushing the thick clouds in to the far distance. No longer would they depend on their dreams anymore. They were heading home.


	21. Chapter 21

Certainly there were those who gave up, moving back to the security of the East, not wanting to endure the hardship of such a journey. Dr. Quinn Michaela Quinn was different. Since days, she had left the civilization behind, taking her further in to the deep prairie of the west. With each turn of the wheels, she felt more excitement but could not hinder that a knot was tightening in her stomach at the same time as well. She knew, once she would arrive in Colorado Springs, her old life, how she used to know it, would no longer exist anymore. Nothing she ever had learned would help her to overcome the prejudices, the stares from people, in their eyes written, how such a woman alone, could move out to the West. On top of that, a woman doctor. Her father often had told her, it should not make a difference, that every people should be treated equally. Michaela Quinn just hoped that at least some of her fathers words would come true.

Feeling the cold breeze on her cheeks as she leaned closer to the open window from the carriage, Michaela inhaled the fresh air. Maybe she didn't need to worry. She had enough self-confidence and willpower to not just be treated as a stranger to the open, wide world. She knew enough to realize that living in such a small town as Colorado Springs, her life will be occupied from the last twinkling star in the morning to the first announcement of the sun setting behind the mountains at night. Even though she never had to do much as a woman in Boston society, as a doctor she knew what comes with it. Every day had been hard work to succeed in a men's society but it had given her enough strength and she knew that this would be exactly what she needed out here.

Closing her eyes, Michaela tried to loosen the knot in her stomach. She would have to deal with such feelings in the near future but now she just wanted to enjoy the quietness as long as it would last.

Suddenly she flinched. Opening her eyes again, she instantly felt a shiver running up and down her spine. Not because of fear. No, it was more of a warm feeling that laid over her heart as she saw where she was passing by. Indian country. Real Indians were watching as the carriage was crossing their land. The feeling intensified. Her heart was pumping so fast and strong now that she thought it would burst right out of her chest.

After taking several deep breaths, Michaela's heart calmed down again. Her hands were still sweating though and she felt like taking off her thick layers of fabric. Sitting back against the wall, she let her head fall to the side, leaning it against the window frame, still trying to control her emotions. As quickly as they had come, they were gone again as if she never had experienced them.

Not thinking about it any further, Michaela Quinn continued her way through the prairie, never closing her eyes again. She didn't want to miss anything. She couldn't wait to finally discover how it would feel to live so far away from civilization; so far from Boston. But mostly, she couldn't wait to meet the small town and its people. Her new home.

---------

Sully was confused. For months he had blocked out everyone who had tried to help his heart to heal. He had put up a barrier, a thick wall around him, to never be hurt again. But now, as he walked through the woods he felt that something had tore down these walls, his heart was breaking free from the safe fortress. For a long time he had dreamed about that someone would made him realize what he had been missing in his life. He hadn't admitted it to himself but he knew deep down that he had wanted, needed it but had been too proud to really let it happen.

Now it seemed, that his heart was singing the song of happiness again. He couldn't explain it but felt calm for the first time again since Abigail had died. He had made his first steps in going to town again but everything else seemed to be blur. He could say what ever it was he felt at this moment was not real but he would be living a lie. The soft, warm feeling in his heart made his knees growing weak, his body longing to be held again in a loving embrace couldn't be an illusion. Something had changed.

Sully's feet, unknowingly, were carrying him towards the small town again. The closer he got, the more the feeling intensified. He had never expected, believed or dreamed that he would feel this way again and that these incredible sensations would bring a slight smile on his face. Not knowing what it meant and what his spirits were preparing him for, he was ready to explore the new lightness in his heart nonetheless. After months of spending in complete darkness, Sully was ready to let his mind be at ease again.

Sully was nearing the edge of town as all of a sudden he felt the earth trembling beneath his feet. The sound of horses and the rattling of the wheels made him turn around, just in time to jump to the side as the carriage passed by him. In that one moment he saw a glimpse of a woman sitting inside, looking out of the open window. His pulse was still racing but Sully wasn't sure anymore if it was just from the shock or the beautiful woman staring back at him. It had only been a split second their eyes met but in that instance Sully felt an electricity shooting through his body, warming his body from head to toe.

He stopped frozen, watching as the carriage continued its way leaving an utterly perplexed Sully in a cloud of dust behind. He stumbled backwards, not able to steady himself any longer. He felt his back hitting a tree and leaned against it, closing his eyes in relief.

Something about this woman left him breathless. It was as if in that short moment, she had reached in to his soul without knowing it, placing a feeling in his heart he couldn't control, like a deep bond had formed between them right in that instance.

His head was spinning, his breathing fast. The sensations surpassed everything he had ever felt but something seemed familiar to him. It was as if a memory still lingered only for a little while in his head but couldn't he hold on to it any longer. He concentrated but nothing seemed to work to bring the puzzle back together. From the Cheyenne he had been taught, that memories are like dreams; they are a reflection of the past as dreams are the window to the soul. But he was drowning in confusion. He couldn't remember anything at all. Only the mesmerizing eyes from this beautiful woman in that carriage left him in an unimaginable state of excitement. He had to see her again.

---------

Michaela's hands were still clutching her medical bag, her fingertips white from the tight grip into the hard leather. With memories of this handsome man still fresh in her mind, she couldn't control her emotions again. Her lips were dry, as she could only breathe through her mouth. Even if she wanted to, she was not able to wipe the big smile from her face. Out of the blue she had seen him standing on the dusty road, almost getting run over by the carriage. Their contact had lasted only a mere second but it had been enough for her to feel the electricity shooting through every vein of her body. The intense blue eyes had been staring right back at her and had opened something in her heart she had locked up for so long. Not even William had been able to dive so deeply into her heart as this stranger had done with just one look. With this thought she felt her heat raising again. Something wasn't right. What did her father used to tell her? Dreams are always in memories even though they might not be recognized but they will be always deep down and carried in your heart. This was exactly how Michaela felt at this moment. A dream she couldn't remember but still lingered over her.

Before she had a chance to get lost in thoughts again, she saw out of the corner of her eye, the small town she had been impatiently waiting to see. Colorado Springs. Instantly, Michaela's excitement came anew. The time had come to meet the people she hoped would accept her as the new doctor in town, her new home.

Taking several deep breaths, she tried to control her nervousness and finally managed to loosen the grip on her bag, letting the color return to her fingers.

The carriage slowed down as if it would allow Michaela to absorb everything her gaze touched.

The town was small, very small and only a few buildings were alongside the road. Compared to Boston, Colorado Springs would not even be considered as a town. In their eyes it would be nothing more then a little piece of land with a few wooden shacks on top of it. But Michaela felt instantly at ease. This was exactly what she had pictured since she had been on her journey. This is what she needed.

---------

Jake Slicker walked up and down the street, breathing nervously. At the farthest end of his shop, he had searched for his best suit, wanting to look his best when he would shake the doctors hand. The whole town had been surprised to get a reply from their ad and further more from a doctor in high position from Boston. _Boston_. Not just from any town in the West. No. From a bustling city with doctors working in real hospitals, with the best equipment imaginable. Such a doctor would join their community today. Jake had been excited since the first time he had read the reply. This would be a great opportunity for their small town to gain more publicity from other cities. People would know soon that Colorado Springs would be the only town in the West with a real doctor from the East.

Looking at his pocket watch again, Jake was waiting impatiently for the stagecoach to finally come into view.

"It's late. Why is it late?" Jake mumbled to himself.

Just in this moment he heard the trampling of the horses. Placing his watch back in his chest pocket, Jake wiped his hands up and down his pants, smoothed out his suit and straightened his back. The doctor was here.

Michaela seemed to be the center of attraction as she took the first step out of the carriage. Lingering on top of the stairs for just a moment longer, she gazed around her. To her surprise, it seemed as if the whole town had gathered, waiting impatiently for this moment to come. Looking at their faces, Michaela had to swallow, trying not to burst in to laughter as she noticed how they were staring back at her. Mouths wide open, hands on their cheeks, whispering in to ears of their friends. She had definitely not been someone they had expected.

Smiling, she finally took the last steps and for the first time she felt the muddy ground beneath her feet. She had to balance herself slightly to not sink deeper in to the mud as she took a few more steps away from the carriage. Turning around a few times, she tried to find the gentleman who would have expected William as their new doctor. That _someone _would probably not be prepared at all to greet her instead.

Noticing a man standing out from the crowd, since he was the only one wearing a suit, she decided that he would be her best bet. Still smiling, Michaela took a deep breath. Slowly she walked over to him but as soon as she was standing in front of him, he moved passed her, not caring at all. Turning around, Michaela watched him as he desperately searched the carriage. "Where is he?" Even though, she had been dumbfounded by his sudden movement, she couldn't stop chuckling. It was definitely him. He was that someone she needed to talk to.

Deciding to get him out of the misery, she cleared her throat. "Excuse me. Are you looking for someone?"

Jake turned towards the voice and was immediately annoyed. Her again. Looking up and down, he noticed for the first time how she was dressed. Never before had he seen such a fine woman. She was definitely not from around this area but then he noticed something that made his eyes shot back at hers. The bag she was carrying looked like one of a doctor.

Michaela noticed the shock in his eyes but kept smiling. She reached out her hand. "I think you might be waiting for the new doctor. That would be me. I am Dr. Michaela Quinn, from Boston."

With an open mouth, Jake just stared back at her. This could not be possible. Where was Dr. Burke? Crossing his arms in front of his chest, not daring to shake her hand, he snapped back, "excuse me, lady? I don't see no doctor."

"Well, that is too bad because I am not a lady, I am a doctor. I assume you must be the well respected mayor of this town, Jake Slicker if I am correct." Michaela figured this gentleman would not be used to such kind compliments and she hoped that would at least give her a slight chance to have a small conversation.

Blushing, Jake was lost at words. _The well respected mayor. _Never had he heard that from anyone before since the town council had voted for him a few months back.

Coughing slightly, he tried to compose himself again. "Yeah, I am. But I still see no doc around. That is not a women's business. So, where is Dr. Burke?"

Michaela couldn't believe this man. Twice now, he had denied her and she felt right now wouldn't be the best timing to argue. She was tired from her journey and wanted to freshen up first before she would be able to stand up against the prejudices she can't seem to escape. Thus, she only replied, "Excuse me _sir_, circumstances wouldn't allow Dr. Burke to take this position anymore. That is why I am here but I am sorry to hear you won't accept that at the moment. Would you please be so kind and show me where I could find a place to stay?"

Jake was perplexed. She was not just only a woman, but a stubborn one at the same time. To his astonishment he realized that he wouldn't have a slight chance winning an argument against her at this moment. He was not prepared at all to have a discussion with a woman. He needed advice. Therefore he decided to keep his thoughts to himself from now on until he had talked to his friends. "Charlotte Cooper, she owns the boarding house in town." Nodding his head towards that direction, Michaela followed his gaze. It was the closest building to them. Wanting to thank him nonetheless, she realized he was already gone again.

---------------

Still stumbling over his own feet now and then, Sully had finally managed to reach town. He still couldn't believe that this woman had touched him so deeply. With his mind only focused on her he forgot everything around him. His eyes were glued to the ground but were staring at nothing particular.

Slowly his senses picked up sounds again, voices echoing in his head. Stopping in his tracks, Sully dared to look up again. Instantly being pulled out of reality once more. She was there, walking towards him. Unknowingly, he held his breath.

Sully always had thought that finding oneness was just a mirage of the mind, an illusion, impossible to find. But at the moment he had laid his eyes on her, he began to see that this kind of love, _true _love was real and it existed in him.

Michaela had been too concentrated in lifting her skirt again and again. Being careful of where she was walking, she hadn't realized yet he was watching every move she made. Only when she was mere feet away, she felt the butterflies returning back to her stomach, that shuddering, nerve-tingling feeling. Letting her fingers loosened the grip at her skirt she stood frozen as her gaze met his.

His deep blue eyes allowed her to experience something she had thought she would never find, an unconditional love that was placed in her mind, body and soul in that very moment she laid her eyes on his.

Not moving a single muscle, both Michaela and Sully were only focused on each other.

They captured each others hearts and touched their souls. A love was forming so pure, boundless through time and space.

An imaginary rope was pulling Sully towards her ever so slowly. As in slow-motion his feet were carrying him towards her. His eyes still only focused on hers. In his mind, Sully already could feel her breath on his neck, the warmth of her lips against his, the touch of her fingers running down on his hot skin and the feel of her heart beating in rhythm with his own. Knowing instantly that he could never find that feeling with anyone other than her.

Like a magnet that was forced to be with the other half, Michaela mirrored his movements. A picture was forming in her mind, as they moved closer and closer. A picture involving only him. The possibilities she saw seemed endless. How he finished the puzzle that lay inside her heart, his voice whispering close to her ear, the kisses filling her with desire, just the way she would feel by his side, a sense of completion only with him.

They were so close now, only inches away from their first touch, when suddenly Michaela's eyes opened widely as she saw what was happening.

Slipping with one foot Sully lost his balance and as swift as an arrow he found himself on the ground, face down in the mud.

Michaela couldn't move. She didn't know if she should burst in to laughter or if she should cry, having lost one of the most special moment in her entire life.

Sully on the other hand, turned around on his back, needing to have more air. His eyes were closed. Their connection was broken as an embarrassed Sully was lying on the ground. His face was covered in mud and his shoulder long hair didn't look any better, crumbles of dirty, wet sand tangled around his locks. The buckskins and his shining white shirt were not recognizable anymore as the mud clung to his clothes.

Noticing a shadow above him, blocking the sun, his eyes opened. First one then the other. She was smiling down on him and offered her hand. Not knowing if he should accept it, Sully fought a small inner battle. Deciding against it, Sully was already back on his feet again but then couldn't resist nonetheless to touch her small hand she held out to him.

Instantly, the electricity overcame both of them again they had felt earlier. Chills were running down their spines. One gentle touch was like a spark of light filling every corner, every dark place in their hearts that left them breathless. Neither could say a word. Michaela was blushing heavy as her hand was still holding on to his not wanting to let go.

Sully tried to smile but his face was frozen. This experience, these emotions he felt were just too much for him. His breath still not under control and his pulse racing like never before. She just wouldn't let go of his hand. He should say something but his lips couldn't form any words. His mouth dry. He wanted to run but his feet were too heavy to let him move only an inch. Only as the door to the boarding house opened with a loud creak they let go of their hands. Michaela was distracted only for a split second and turned her head towards the noise but regretted it immediately as she felt that he was moving away from her. With almost pleading eyes she begged him to stay but it was too late.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

Michaela was tangled up in love even though she had no idea how it had happened. A few days back when she had woken up one morning on the train, she knew deep down in her stomach something didn't feel right. The excitement going to Colorado Springs had still lingered all over her but a shadow of loneliness had covered her heart from that moment on. Since days she had tried to figure out what had been missing but never came even close enough to an answer. Until now.

Michaela was still staring in the direction he had left, realizing the same feeling in her stomach had returned once he had turned away from her and broke their connection. Sighing, she let her head drop and closed her eyes. How was this possible? Suddenly she could see herself lying in bed, in her own, large bed at home. Someone was kneeling next to her, his hand caressing her cheek. But the picture vanished as quickly again as it came. She was just too tired to think straight. She needed to freshen up and change in to something different since mud was still clinging to her dress. She would have to deal with her emotions later. Now she just wanted to sleep.

Deciding it was time now, Charlotte Cooper opened the door widely and stepped on the porch. "Can I help you?" she asked as she walked closer to Michaela.

Michaela's head shot up. She hadn't notice anything around her and was surprised to see a slightly older woman standing next to her.

Coughing embarrassed, Michaela blushed. "I am sorry. I was lost in thought for a moment."

Charlotte chuckled, " I noticed. I asked you if you needed any help?"

Michaela saw the door to the boarding house open and a small boy with blonde hair sticking out his head, a shy smile on his face. Michaela smiled back at him and then returned her attention back to the woman, realizing this could be the woman she had been looking for.

"Are you Charlotte Cooper by any chance? Mr. Slicker mentioned that you might have a place for me to stay."

"Yes, I am and I guess you were smiling at my little boy, standing at the door ready to run outside," Charlotte chuckled again. Then she turned her head and gave her son a little nod. Grinning, Brian ran as fast as he could and was at his mother's side in no time, wrapping his small arms around her waist.

Looking up at the woman in front of him, he smiled. "You are dirty. A girl is not supposed to be dirty, only boys." His grin was getting wider with each word he spoke and revealed several teeth missing in the front.

Charlotte covered his mouth with her hand. Lately, that is all she had been doing with her son. He was full of questions and never knew when his comments weren't appreciated. Apart from that, she loved him nonetheless and in all honesty, Brian loved their little game just too much to keep his mouth shut. Both of them knew that.

"This young man here, is my son, Brian. He never knows when to keep quiet. Say hello to this lady, Brian," Charlotte encouraged her son, removing her hand.

"Hello," he answered a little shy but couldn't stop his curiosity and asked. "What's your name?"

Michaela stretched out her hand to the little boy. "I am Dr. Michaela Quinn," she smiled, shaking his hand first and then looked back up to Charlotte. "I am the new doctor."

Charlotte's mouth was wide open now. Were her ears playing tricks on her? Swallowing, she asked again, "did you say your name was Michaela?"

"That sounds like Michael. But you don't look like a boy," Brian interrupted.

"Hush, Brian. Or you go back inside," Charlotte warned his son who immediately recognized the voice of his mother. He needed to keep quiet now.

"Yes," Michaela answered, "Michaela Quinn. You look like you have seen a ghost, Mrs. Cooper. Is everything alright?"

Charlotte just continued to stare at the doctor in front of her. Sully had been right all along. She existed. She was really here in Colorado Springs. Then she suddenly remembered what had happened earlier. She had witnessed how Sully had fallen in the mud, their glances, the touch and then Brian had disturbed them, wanting to talk to Sully. But immediately, he had left, fear written all over his face.

"Mrs. Cooper?" Michaela tried again.

Charlotte blinked a few times and then smiled. She had to know more. "Please, call me Charlotte. Why don't we go inside and I will show you around Dr. Quinn. There are enough rooms available."

"Please, call me Michaela. Dr. Quinn is my father. It always sounds so strange to me if someone calls me that, " Michaela answered.

"Me too?" Brian grinned.

Michaela ruffled the little boys hair. "You can call me Dr. Mike. All of my friends do if you'd like that."

"Thanks, Dr. Mike. I like that," Brian blushed.

He watched as his ma and his new friend walked towards his home. He liked her already. He only hoped she would stay around for a long time.

They were already at the door when Brian ran after them. "Hey, wait for me."

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Michaela stood in the small room. Her bags were placed on the bed since there was not enough space on the floor and she didn't want to trip over them. She had chosen the room at the far end with the view towards the little street. Moving the curtains gently to the side, she inhaled deeply, looking out of the window. She couldn't remember ever being so tired in her life. It had been more exhausting as she had imagined and with the twists of her emotions it had become even worse with each minute.

Her thoughts were interrupted by a light knock at her door. Slowly she walked to the front of her room and opened it. Charlotte greeted her with a big smile on her face, a tray in her hands with fresh made tea.

"I hope I am not disturbing you. I thought you might like a cup of tea. You must be tired and this tea usually helps me to stay awake." Charlotte didn't wait for Michaela's approval and walked straight to the small table, putting down the tray and filling the cups with the hot tea, instantly steam raising from both of them.

Charlotte had spent the last hour downstairs, thinking if she should disturb the doctor or not. At last, her curiosity won and she had decided to pay her new friend a visit.

"Thank you Charlotte, this is exactly what I need right now. It has been a long journey. I never imagined it would so…long." Michaela chuckled. "Well, I hope I don't have to go back that soon."

"Why would you think that? You just got here." Charlotte handed her one cup, while sipping already on hers and sat down on the bed, waiting for the doctors answer.

Michaela sat down by the table. "Well, to be honest, I think Colorado Springs expected another doctor but circumstances wouldn't allow him to take the position." She sighed. It felt good to talk about it to someone after such a long time of isolation. For some reason, Michaela felt already close to Charlotte and didn't mind talking about her personal life. "I met Mr. Slicker when I first arrived and well, I guess you can say, he was not very happy about seeing a woman as their new doctor."

"Oh don't you worry. They will come around. We've been looking for a new doctor for quite some time and they will be happy nonetheless. I can't do it all anymore. I am only a midwife with three children to raise. As a matter of fact, Jake treated most of the people here but he is not a real doc where I would send my children to. Believe me, many will think the same way as me. You will have patients in no time."

Charlotte watched Michaela closely. She didn't know her very long but could tell already that something was bothering her even more than being the new doctor in town. Trying to approach the subject, Charlotte asked carefully, "so, you met that handsome man already. I wouldn't have believed it first, but he must have been right. You are here."

Michaela almost dropped the cup in her hands. She swallowed hard. She felt her pulse quicken immediately and her whole body began to shake. Carefully as not to tremble too much, she placed the cup on the small table. Michaela didn't know what to say. Looking up at Charlotte, she saw her smiling openly as she would know something she didn't. Skeptically, Michaela raised her eyebrow, "what do you mean? What do you know about him? About me?"

Charlotte placed her cup next to Michaela's and sat a little closer to her. "Well, he told me about you. Life had been very hard on him and finding you gave him his happiness back. Actually to be honest, I have never seen him quite like this before. He couldn't stop talking about you." Charlotte wasn't sure what was happening here. Didn't she know anything? From the looks earlier there must have been something going on between these two.

Michaela was shocked. Abruptly, she rose from the chair and moved to her earlier position by the window. What did he know about her? Had they met already? Of course they had seen each other before she had arrived in town. Closing her eyes, she tried to control her emotions. Michaela couldn't explain anything. She knew she felt something. It was as if a tiny piece of the universe shifted into place when they had touched, a connection so rare that only existed between him and herself was formed. A connection that would go beyond friendship, beyond romance, just simply beyond what she ever had felt before. The touch had lit a fire in her heart that kept her warm even though he had left her a long time ago. The more she thought about him, the more spread the fire in her body.

As Michaela, Charlotte was lost at words. Raising from the bed, she walked over to Michaela and gently touched her shoulder. "Are you alright, Michaela? I am sorry if I said something that made you upset."

Michaela flinched slightly as Charlotte touched her shoulder. Letting her head drop, Michaela whispered, "you didn't say anything wrong. It's just, I think I know him but I can't get the puzzle back together. I see so many little pieces but they just won't fit. Something is missing and I don't know what it is."

"You mean, you don't remember anything from Byron Su…"

"Sully," Michaela interrupted. "His name is Sully. I remember now." Michaela looked at Charlotte, her eyes wide open. Her heart was pounding harder and stronger with each thought she had about Sully.

Suddenly, the picture from earlier came back to her mind. _Slowly opening her eyes, she saw him kneeling at her bed smiling back at her just inches from her face. _Her heart was racing now and her body trembling uncontrollably as she stared in those beautiful, breathtaking deep, blue eyes. _He squeezed her hand lightly and promised, "I am here. I am always in your heart, Michaela." _Michaela's hands began to sweat and she had to swallow the lump in her throat. _His hand still over her heart, he promised, "Listen to what you feel in here. Follow your heart, and you'll find me." _

"_How do you know my name? I don't even know yours?" _Now Michaela had to smile. She remembered every word from her dream now. Her heart skipped a beat. She knew what he would say now.

_Smiling, he replied, "you are not the only one having dreams." Pausing, he added, _

"_Believe me, everything will turn out as it is meant to be." _Then Michaela placed her hand on her chest, where her heart was pounding so fast she thought it would jump out of it any moment.

"_I will never leave you, and… name's Sully." _

"Sully," Michaela repeated in a low whisper. Sully! Opening her eyes again, she grinned at Charlotte. "I remember Charlotte. I dreamed about him. That is why I know his name. I can't believe it. How could I have forgotten?" Michaela didn't know what was happening. Her excitement overwhelmed her. But the reality came back and hit her hard as quickly as the dream before her vanished again. They had dreams about each other? How was this possible? What more did they say to each other? What did _she _say to him? Was Sully still remembering the dreams? Why did he leave her so sudden when they have seen each other earlier? So many questions swirled in her head she began to feel dizzy.

Charlotte was speechless. Never before had she witnessed anything like that. The emotions this woman could evoke, from confusion to happiness, from sadness to excitement and back to panic was incredible. She could read it in her eyes, as Michaela continued to stare at her. Unsure of what to do next, Charlotte said quietly, "I can only imagine how confusing that is for you now. I better leave you alone. But as I know Sully, he didn't forget about you. Not after I saw how he looked at you. How _you _looked back at him."

Michaela blushed. "I don't know how it happened but when I first looked into his eyes, my breath left me. I started to feel that warmth inside of me no one ever had created. I could feel that special bond between us which I can't explain but it had frighten me at the same time. It was very powerful." Michaela was a little embarrassed to openly say her feelings to basically a stranger but she knew she could trust Charlotte.

"Sully is a honorable man. You don't have to be afraid of him. I think he might be as confused now as you are. Sully likes to vanish for days when he is troubled. If you want to look for him, I might be able to help you," Charlotte winked.

"Thank you Charlotte. I would like to think about it first. I will tell you when I am ready." Michaela tried to smile, "it's all so overwhelming right now."

"I understand, but don't wait too long."

Michaela gazed out of the window, daydreaming about Sully and wondering while he is in his own world, if he was thinking about her as much as she was thinking about him. Everything happened so fast but she couldn't stop thinking that they knew each other for quite some time already.

Michaela reminisced the moment they have met for the first time and how he had made her feel inside, looking at the glowing smile on his face, staring into his dreamy blue eyes, his smell, his touch. Instantly, Michaela felt the butterflies returning, bringing a constant smile to her face, all sad thoughts were replaced with happiness and excitement, looking forward to the next time they would meet. Yes, she wanted to see him again. She would lie to herself if she wouldn't want to see Sully again. This realization brought an even wider smile to her face. She knew what she had to do. No one knows what tomorrow would bring but she had to try, otherwise she might regretted for the rest of her life.

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The grey began to fade as the colors filled the sky. Sully didn't know how long he had been walking. Still, her love surrounded him like the air he was breathing. One look into her eyes had been enough to see she had felt the same connection, the same magical bond as him. The moment she had appeared before him he had lost his heart immediately.

Sully had closed the door upon his heart a long time ago and wouldn't have let anyone in. The key had been tossed as far as he could so love would never find away to enter again. His heart had been closed for good but then she had come into his life, holding out her hand, she had proven him he had been wrong all along. Insider her palm had been the key lying to his heart.

What had frightened him the most had been the love that had consumed him from the beginning. A love so powerful, so overwhelming that he had feared if he would ever be without it, his heart would no longer had a meaning to pump blood through his veins. It had scared him to the bones and that is why he had left her abruptly. It had been all too much at once.

Sully's body was exhausted and he fell to his knees as soon as he had arrived where he wanted to be. So many questions lingered in his mind and he hoped at this place he would find the answers he was looking for.

Scanning the area, all of a sudden he didn't know if this would be the right place anymore. Why had he come to this place even though he had no idea why he had started to build that house? To Sully it seemed that not too long ago he had a purpose in his life. A purpose to build this house for a special reason, a special someone. Now everything had vanished right in front of his eyes. He knew deep down something wanted to flow to the surface but it was stuck. The harder he tried to remember, the more he felt the pain in every muscle. Was she that special someone? Was she the answer to all his questions? He just didn't know anymore. The memories were gone and he wasn't even sure anymore if they would ever return.

"The past cannot be changed but the future is still in your power, my friend." As usual Cloud Dancing knew where and when he would be needed. He had waited for this day to come, even though he shouldn't be here, he didn't want to let his brother go through the frustration alone. "All men who had achieved great things in their lives, had been great dreamers, Sully."

Cloud Dancing sat down next to his brother.

"I ain't in the mood for your wisdom. If you wanna say something do it the way I understand," Sully hissed back.

Cloud Dancing just grinned. It had hit his brother harder then he had expected. "Don't let today's fear cast a shadow on tomorrow's dream." Pointing to the mountain in front of them, Cloud dancing continued, seeing a slight interest from Sully. "The spirits gave us those mountains so we can learn how to climb. There are times in our lives where you might trip and fall but to get to the top of that mountain we have to get back up on our feet."

Sully sighed. Instead of bringing light on to his shadows, they got darker and darker. "I don't understand."

"Because you try too hard to understand what you don't need to understand. The spirits have given you a second chance. You just need to follow that path unless you want to fall back down."

Anger began to rise deep within Sully. "Why don't you just say it? Tell me what I don't know. Why don't I remember Cloud Dancing? What did I do to deserve this?"

Cloud Dancing knew it was time. He could feel she was getting close. "This is not a punishment, my friend. I will ask you one more question then I will need to leave you alone." Sully looked at Cloud Dancing, his eyes still filled with anger. "When do you think you can be finished with building your house?"

"What?" Sully asked astonished. Cloud Dancing just stared at him, not saying a word. Sully growled, "I guess 6 months. Why is this important now?"

His brother just smiled. "This will give you enough time to rediscover what you cannot remember. The spirits have guided you this far for a reason and they have brought her to you." Suddenly, Sully's eyes widened. He knew. He had known all along that he had met her. Sully's heart skipped a beat and every part of his body felt the same excitement as before. Now he was ready to listen.

"If you look closely into your heart you will remember what dreams you have shared. She is on the same path as you my friend. Together, you can reach the mountain. Mich…" but Cloud Dancing didn't need to finish. Enough had been said to guide Sully back on his feet.

"Michaela." Sully closed his eyes. Clearly, he could see her standing next to him. "_It is so beautiful, Sully. Where are we?" Turning his head towards Michaela, their eyes met again. Squeezing her hand, Sully simply answered, his voice full of love. _Sully smiled. He knew what would follow.

"_Home." Taking both of her hands, he sighed. "I know you have many questions as I have but we need to trust that we will find each other. The power of our dreams have brought us already this far. Just trust me Michaela." _

Sully couldn't control his emotions anymore. "Michaela," he whispered again. In that moment he had remembered why the house had been so important to build. It was for them. An overwhelming desire to be with her overcame him and he knew instantly where to find her.

Opening his eyes, he saw Cloud Dancing was already gone again. Jumping to his feet he breathed in the air, breathing in the love Michaela gave him. That was all he needed to set his body in motion but stopped again. Looking down at his clothes, he realized he should change first; mud was still all over him.

-------

Cloud Dancing had been right. The past would not be important anymore. Both knew the spirits had brought them together and now it was time to reach the mountain side by side. With each others help, they would get to where they wanted to be. Sully was certain about that as he made his way through the woods, with new clothes, wishing his feet could carry him faster to Michaela.

-------

Michaela had been taken a new direction in her life, with a hope in one way or another, her heart would lead her to the desired place and destination as she was walking through the woods of Colorado Springs. Never had she fallen in love but Sully was holding her heart in his gentle hands, the heart she had never given away before.

Not familiar with her surroundings, Michaela had to trust her inner feelings completely that they would show her the right direction but as soon as she saw the valley beneath her, she knew she had reached her destination. She didn't know why, but she knew she was home. The feelings had intensified in every corner of her being as she had passed the clearing a few moments ago. A tear rolled down her cheek. Never before had she witnessed such beautiful nature that was spreading out in the distance, surrounding her heart with peace she never had experienced.

Breathing in the cold air, her thoughts turned back to Sully. Where was he? Had Charlotte been right that he had vanished already? Before she could finish her thoughts she heard his deep but gentle voice behind her, instantly making her heart jump with joy and excitement but she was afraid of turning around. Nervousness filled the air. Her hands were shaking.

"Michaela," was all Sully's mouth could reveal. Her beauty just simply took his breath away as it did the first time. He couldn't see her face yet but the gleam around her was all he needed to know that her love was shining bright as the sun. He felt his knees weaken as his pulse began to race.

Michaela could feel his hot breath on her neck as she felt his hand touching her shoulder ever so gently. The caress of his hand sent shivers down her spine, taking away her worries and fears.

Dropping her head, she whispered as her voice echoed through the wind. "Sully."

With her voice so soft, sweet and clear, Sully had a hard time to breathe. He felt his heart began to flutter as Michaela placed her hand softly on his, strengthen the bond between them to new heights.

Nothing but their heavy breathing could be heard. It seemed time stood still for just the two of them, wanting to let two lovers feel the magic of the spirits. Words twisted and tumbled through their minds but neither of them were able to grab them. No words needed to be spoken.

Gently, Sully turned her around. Still she didn't look up at him, afraid of the powerful feelings within her only Sully was able to provoke.

Sully on the other hand couldn't take it anymore and touched her cheek tenderly, caressing it with his thumb. "Open your eyes," he whispered.

Michaela took a deep breath and slowly raised her head. Again, she could feel his breath on her skin and his warm hand starting the fire deep within her anew, growing with each second passing by, like an eternal flame that would never dim again. That would simply last forever. Her body close to his, their hearts beating in time she found the strength to finally meet his gaze.

As he looked into her eyes, deep down in to the depths of her very being, Sully could see the love she felt for him, mirroring his own.

Sully smiled. "Hey," he breathed, tickling her face with his hot breath. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. Finally being able to enjoy the moment they were together, with no interruptions.

"Hey," was all Michaela could reply. Every other word was stuck in her throat and when she felt his face coming closer to her, her world was spinning. Closer and closer she felt him leaning into her, not leaving an inch between their bodies. She wanted it as much as he did, finally feeling their lips touching in a tender kiss. The feelings overcame them both as love was pulling them in. Closer and closer until his lips were only inches away from hers.

"Wait," Michaela whispered, pushing slightly on his chest, blushing heavily.

"I am sorry. I…"

"Don't be. I am…I am just…nervous," Michaela said, shaking. Her whole body was trembling now, her mouth dry.

"If you don't want to, I…" Sully tried again but immediately was interrupted by her soft voice again.

"I do."

Sully smiled widely as he saw her eyes sparkling again. While taking her face in both hands, Michaela circled her arms around his waist. Not wanting to wait any longer, she pulled him in. Slowly they moved together, closer until finally their lips touched for the first time. Softly and gentle at first, experiencing the new sensations.

Sully was trying to break the kiss as not to overwhelm her with his desire but as soon as Michaela felt him withdraw she tightened her grip around his waist, her fingers pushing gently on his back. Sully deepened the kiss, opening her mouth with his tongue, letting his senses guide him and to his surprise, she fallowed his lead.

In that moment, their souls became one, their hearts beating the same melody as the kiss seemed to last forever.

They were strangers, having started out on a journey, never dreaming what they would have to go through. But here they were, suddenly standing at the beginning together. No one had prepared them they were going to find each other, what they would do to each others hearts. When for Michaela and Sully all hopes had been lost, their souls had reached out, guiding them to open their hearts again, letting the other in.

The sun slowly began its journey down behind the mountains, leaving two bodies but one heart standing in the moonlight, with stars shining brightly in the dark sky. For Michaela and Sully time stood still as they both followed their hearts, intending to continue their journey where the spirits had guided them, in the hope they would reach wherever the power of their dreams had taken them already!

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_Thank you everyone for reading!!!!!! and your feedback!!! I hope you enjoyed the Story as much as I had fun writing it....well, most of the time anyway...LOL!!!!!!_


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